5 Relationship Killers and How to Avoid Them

As a relationship counselor, I am constantly being asked why so many relationships fail. In the 37 years that I have worked with couples, I have discovered five major relationship killers:

CONTROLLING BEHAVIOR

Most people enter a relationship with a deep fear of rejection, and this fear motivates various forms of controlling behavior. Controlling behavior falls into two major categories ?overt control and covert control.

Overt control includes many forms of attack, such as blaming anger, rage, violence, judgment, criticism and ridicule.

Covert control includes compliance, enabling, withdrawal, defending, explaining, lying and denying. Often a person at the other end of attack will respond with some form of covert control in an attempt to have control over not being attacked.

Controlling behavior always results in resentment and emotional distance, bringing about the very rejection that it is meant to avoid.

RESISTANCE

Many people enter a relationship with a deep fear of being engulfed and controlled ?of losing themselves. The moment they experience their partner wanting control over them, they respond with resistance ?withdrawal, unconsciousness, numbness, forgetfulness, and procrastination.

When one partner is controlling and the other is resistant ?which is really an attempt to have control over not being controlled - the relationship becomes immobilized. Partners in this relationship system feel frustrated, stagnant, and resentful.

NEEDINESS

Many people enter a relationship believing that it is their partner job to fill their emptiness, take away their aloneness, and make them feel good about themselves. When people have not learned how to take responsibility for their own feelings and needs, and to define their own self-worth, they may pull on their partner and others to fill them with the love they need.

SUBSTANCE AND PROCESS ADDICTIONS

Most people who feel empty inside turn to substance and process addictions in an attempt to fill their emptiness and take away the pain of their aloneness and loneliness. Alcohol and drug abuse, food, spending, gambling, busyness, Internet sex and pornography, affairs, work, TV, accumulating things, beautifying, and so on, can all be used as ways to fill emptiness and avoid fears of failure, inadequacy, rejection and engulfment. And they are all ways of shutting out your partner.

EYES ON PARTNER'S PLATE

Many people are acutely aware of what their partner is doing that is causing relationship problems, but completely unaware of what they are doing. For example, you might be very aware of your partner resistance or withdrawal, but totally unaware of your own judgmental behavior. You might be very aware of your partner anger, but completely unaware of your own compliance. You might be very aware of your partner addictive behavior, but very unaware of your own enabling. As long as your eyes are on your partner instead of on yourself, you will continue to believe that if only your partner changed, everything would be okay.

RESOLVING RELATIONSHIP KILLERS

All relationship killers come from fear ?of inadequacy, of failure, of rejection and of engulfment. As long as you are coming from any of these fears, you will be behaving in one or more of the above ways.

The way out is to develop a loving adult self who knows how to take full responsibility for your own feelings and needs. You will move beyond controlling, needy and addictive behavior only when you learn how to fill your self with love and define your own inner worth. When you are willing to take your eyes off your partner plate and turn your eyes fully on yourself, you can begin to do the inner healing work necessary to heal yourself and your relationship.

A good place to start is to download our free Inner Bonding course and begin to practice the Six Steps of Inner Bonding. The daily practice of these steps will move you out of your addictive and controlling behavior and into the personal responsibility necessary to heal your relationship.

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4 Rules To Transform A Long Distance Love On The Internet Into A Normal Relationship

Keywords:

dating, online dating, relationships, seduction, marriage, foreign brides

Article Body:

Let's suppose that you are meeting someone online

and that person seem to be the match of your life,

but is living far away from you. Does it worth

to spend your time in a long distance

relationship with this person?

What if this person is really your soul mate?

You may be surprised how much a relationship can

grow if you work at it. If you know and apply

some simple rules, your relationship can turn out

to be one of the most successful and happy

relationships that ever existed.

Distance, combined with phone calls and writing,

electronically or through regular mail, can

foster an enviable intimacy which results from

learning about another's qualities, values and

ways of thinking, sensitivities, dreams, and

aspirations. This type of intimacy can make your

coming together much more special.

And, as if relationships weren't complicated

enough, having them across a long distance is

extremely challenging. Just read the following

rules and try to keep them in mind and apply them:

1. The quality of a relationship is more likely

to increase if both people develop the ability to

share feelings openly with each other. Do not be

afraid to tell your partner what you really need

and want from him or her, he or she deserves to

know the truth and judge whether they can give it

to you.

2. Make the relationship a high priority. Avoid

canceling reunions or putting off a phone call.

3. Keep in touch daily. If large phone bills are

a concern, send e-mail, letters, cards and even

faxes. And when you do make contact, don't just

stick to love talk, but keep each other informed

on the day-to-day aspects of your lives. This way

each of you is aware of how the other is thinking,

feeling and developing. Late-night talks and

thoughtful letters can convey a lot of what is

most important in the long-term: your goals,

values and dreams.

4. Be prepared to be flexible. Tell your partner

of how much you think about and love him or her

and you will score some important points. Making

them miss you more and youl fill them with the

constant urge to see you. But don't be possessive.

Being paranoid and accusing will only grow

doubts, insecurity and tension between you and

none of those will help the relationship develop

successfully.

If your partner truly wants to be with you, then

they would not want to wait forever to have you

next to her or him. As long as you both trust

each other, inform one another of your personal

lives, keep in touch, your relationship can turn

out into a happy normal relationship.

Ultimately, a fabulous relationship is your goal -

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7 Ways To Improve Your Relationship

Good relationships don just happen. Ie heard many of my clients state that, f I have to work at it, then it not the right relationship.?This is not a true statement, any more than it true that you don have to work at good physical health through exercise, eating well, and stress reduction.

Ie discovered, in the 35 years that Ie been counseling couples, 7 choices you can make that will not only improve your relationship, but can turn a failing relationship into a successful one.

TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOURSELF

This is the most important choice you can make to improve your relationship. This means that you learn how to take responsibility for your own feelings and needs. This means that instead of trying to get your partner to make you feel happy and secure, you learn how to do this for yourself through your own thoughts and actions. This means learning to treat yourself with kindness, caring, compassion, and acceptance instead of self-judgment. Self-judgment will always make you feel unhappy and insecure, no matter how wonderfully your partner is treating you.

For example, instead of getting angry at your partner for your feelings of abandonment when he or she is late, preoccupied and not listening to you, not turned on sexually, and so on, you would explore your own feelings of abandonment and discover how you might be abandoning yourself.

When you learn how to take full, 100% responsibility for yourself, then you stop blaming your partner for your upsets. Since blaming one partner for one own unhappiness is the number one cause of relationship problems, learning how to take loving care of yourself is vital to a good relationship.

KINDNESS, COMPASSION, ACCEPTANCE

Treat others the way you want to be treated. This is the essence of a truly spiritual life. We all yearn to be treated lovingly ?with kindness, compassion, understanding, and acceptance. We need to treat ourselves this way, and we need to treat our partner and others this way. Relationships flourish when both people treat each other with kindness. While there are no guarantees, often treating another with kindness brings kindness in return. If your partner is consistently angry, judgmental, uncaring and unkind, then you need to focus on what would be loving to yourself rather than reverting to anger, blame, judgment, withdrawal, resistance, or compliance. Kindness to others does not mean sacrificing yourself. Always remember that taking responsibility for yourself rather than blaming others is the most important thing you can do. If you are consistently kind to yourself and your partner, and your partner is consistently angry, blaming, withdrawn and unavailable, then you either have to accept a distant relationship, or you need to leave the relationship. You cannot make your partner change ?you can only change yourself.

LEARNING INSTEAD OF CONTROLLING

When conflict occurs, you always have two choices regarding how to handle the conflict: you can open to learning about yourself and your partner and discover the deeper issues of the conflict, or you can try to win, or at least not lose, through some form of controlling behavior. Wee all learning many overt and subtle ways of trying to control others into behaving the way we want: anger, blame, judgment, niceness, compliance, caretaking, resistance, withdrawal of love, explaining, teaching, defending, lying, denying, and so on. All the ways we try to control create even more conflict. Remembering to learn instead of control is a vital part of improving your relationship.

For example, most people have two major fears that become activated in relationships: the fear of abandonment ?of losing the other - and the fear of engulfment ?of losing oneself. When these fears get activated, most people immediately protect themselves against these fears with their controlling behavior. But if you chose to learn about your fears instead of attempt to control your partner, your fear would eventually heal. This is how we grow emotionally and spiritually ?by learning instead of controlling.

CREATE DATE TIMES

When people first fall in love, they make time for each other. Then, especially after getting married, they get busy. Relationships need time to thrive. It is vitally important to set aside specific times to be together ?to talk, play, make love. Intimacy cannot be maintained without time together.

GRATITUDE INSTEAD OF COMPLAINTS

Positive energy flows between two people when there is an ttitude of gratitude.?Constant complaints creates a heavy, negative energy, which is not fun to be around. Practice being grateful for what you have rather than focusing on what you don have. Complaints create stress, while gratitude creates inner peace, so gratitude creates not only emotional and relationship health, but physical health as well.

FUN AND PLAY

We all know that ork without play makes Jack a dull boy.?Work without play makes for dull relationships as well. Relationships flourish when people laugh together, play together, and when humor is a part of everyday life. Stop taking everything so seriously and learn to see the funny side of life. Intimacy flourishes when there is lightness of being, not when everything is heavy.

SERVICE

A wonderful way of creating intimacy is to do service projects together. Giving to others fills the heart and creates deep satisfaction in the soul. Doing service moves you out of yourself and your own problems and supports a broader, more spiritual view of life.

If you and your partner agree to these 7 choices, you will be amazed at the improvement in your relationship!

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13 Magical Things to do in a Relationship

Keywords:

dating, online dating, flirt, seduction, relationships, love, romance, marriage, foreign brides, single parents

Article Body:

When you know that you have found the perfect

woman for you, make sure that she feels the same

about you. You are crazy about her and want to

make her feel happy with you, that's why you are

ready to make all the sacrifices to impress her,

to show her how much you care about her, or to

not permit that routine to come into your

relationship.

With all this sacrifices to show her your

feelings, to keep your relationship as cool as it

was at the beginning, you feel that you have to

make something more interesting. That's why you

should induce agic nto your relationship even

if you are hopeless romantic or not. To add more

intimacy, love, understanding and compassion in

any relationship is always welcome.

So, here are some magical things to do in order

to impress your partner in a good way and

increase your relationship:

1.Surprise her by taking her lunch and coffee at

bed right after she woke up; if you didn't do

this before she will definitely be impressed;

also cooking a pizza for her and cut it in a

heart shape it is very romantic; a woman will

always find interesting a man who is able to cook

for her, no matter what kind of food it is; even

if it wouldn't be too tasty, she will appreciate

that you have tried

2.Set up a picnic in the park; even it is an

usually day, prepare all you need for a picnic,

go get your girlfriend and go for a walk; don't

tell her from the beginning what you plan to, let

it be a surprise; a ' going out' at a picnic in

the fresh air is always welcome and relaxing

3.Send her flowers anytime and anywhere, that is

unexpected; women love flowers, so sending her

flowers without any reason will demonstrate her

that you really care about and make her feel

loved and special; the most probably that she

will answer you with the same love you show her

4.Fill her apartment with balloons or something

she likes, maybe it's a crazy idea, but it

usually works to impress girls; it will be seen

as a funny thing by your partner and remember

that some fun is necessary in any relationship

5.If you are good at writing, write her a poem,

or create a book for her with a special

dedication; this will definitely work if she

love poems; don't begin to write a poem only if

you know that you are good at it, other way you

will screw up

6.Reading romantic poetry in the middle of the

living room on a blanket in soft candlelight, it

is a very good way to offer your partner a

wonderful evening; women are often more romantic

than men, that's why they like to be surprised by

men with romantic ideas

7.Massages are always magic when done right;

buying different flavored edible bars to

experiment with each other can be more surprising;

but if you are not good at making massage, go to

a spa together and get a couples massage together

8.Go for a romantic meal; make reservations at a

beautiful restaurant and create a romantic

atmosphere with candles, roses and slow music;

offer her a night to never forget

9.Going for a walk at night and looking at the

stars and moon is almost such romantic as the

restaurant, and is cheapest; so it is not

necessary to have a lot of money to offer your

partner a lovely evening; it can be very

interesting

10.If you can afford it, take her in holiday in

an exotic place, like a beautiful island, only

you two alone, with sunshine and plenty of water,

where you will spend a wonderful time together,

and will not be disturb by friends, family,

relatives

11.But, if you can't afford to go in a exotic

place, to the sea, there's no problem; bubble

baths together are always magic times;

12.Surprise visits; surprise her with your visits

when she is not expecting at all; while you are

able to surprise her in a good way, she will not

lose interest in you

13.Don't be afraid to talk sweet nothings into

her ear; make the woman feel good by saying sweet

and romantic things to her at any given time; as

i sad, women love romance

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10 Top Relationship Tips

What's the key to a successful relationship? Some might think that's the million dollar question. Sometimes it's just the simple things, that we easily forget or think are unimportant that hold the key to a healthy and happy relationship. Read through the helpful tips below on how to make your relationship go the distance.

1. Without quality time together, your relationship will not survive. Aim to devote at least half an hour a night, and at least one day a month when the two of you spend time exclusively together.

2. You both want to feel secure within the relationship. A good relationship is built on compromise and a lot of give and take from both of you.

3. Often those little things that first attracted you to your partner can turn into nasty annoying habits. Learn to love your partner warts and all. Don't try to change them into something they're not, after all you fell in love with them just the way they were.

4. Money is one of the top conflicts between most couples. For the relationship to work, you need to address your finances and maybe even work out a budget.

5. Learn to argue well. Never say something to your partner that you wouldn't want to hear said back. Just remember, the one good thing they say about arguing, is the making up afterwards.

6. Communication is vital to all healthy relationships. Listen to your partner and avoid blame and judgement. Don't let your emotions dictate your behaviour. Remember just talking things over can help you to both have a deeper understanding of each other.

7. Sort out your sex life, it may start to go downhill over the years, don't just accept it. As soon as you notice it, address it with your partner and work out why, and what to do to bring back the passion. Maybe one of your prefers more sex than the other. Why not experiment with new ideas in the bedroom. Role play, dressing up, or maybe take your sex life out of the

bedroom and try new places. The introduction of marital aids into the relationship can also help to spice things up. Whatever you decide, remember communication is vital.

8. Try to keep your dependence and independence in balance. Tell your partner how much you need them, but don't get to dependent on them and cling to them all the time, as that can make your partner feel trapped. On the flip side of this, don't allow your partner to think you don't need them, by going or doing things without them. Try to keep a happy and healthy balance

between the two.

9.Learn to forgive. If you know you will never forgive your partner over something important, and feel the trust can never be regained then give yourself, and him a break and start again, with someone new.

10. Don't ever think that going to counselling is a sign of a failed relationship. It can turna bad relationship around and can also turn an average relationship into an excellent one. More and more people are turning to counselling today than ever, it shows you are both prepared

to try and make things better, which can't be a bad thing at all.

The fact remains, that whether you're dating or married, relationships are hard. It takes 100% commitment from both of you. However, healthy and long-lasting relationships are achievable and many couples have proven just that. Not everything is always going to be perfect but if you both choose to make it work then it can. And remember it's the little things that you sometimes do that can go a long way to making your relationship work.

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Tips On How To Cope When A Relationship Ends

I am sure that we have all been through the nightmare of been dumped by our boyfriend or girlfriend. At times it is something that we were expecting, however more often than not it comes as a big shock. In this situation it is very hard to take, and in this article I give free tips on how to cope in this situation.

I have had a number of girlfriends, most of whom have decided to end the relationship. As a teenager even though it wounded my pride, I have to say that it did not really bother me. I at that stage had never met anyone who really lets say, did it for me. In fact most of these girls/women were quite annoying. They were either:

Too clingy and wanted to see me everyday, wanted me to call them seemingly every hour and became upset when I wanted to see my friends.

A crier, what I mean by that is that they would cry over the smallest things and were basically too emotional.

The jealous type. I am not one to cheat, however these type of girls would always be accusing me of seeing or fancying somebody else.

Untrustworthy. These are girls who I just knew were only interested in playing the field and who were basically only worth dating for a bit of fun.


I then met when I was around twenty-one a girl who seemed too good to be true. She was none of the above and we got on so well it was scary.

All of my life, I had had a dream to live by the coast as I love the sea. I was from a big city and was not particularly happy living in this fast pace of life. I yearned for a quite and tranquil existence.

After around two years of being with this new girlfriend, we decided that we would live together and that we would make my dream move. I was very happy and we moved to the southwest coast of England to the county of Devon.

I was very happy in my new home but my girlfriend soon became homesick. She missed her friends, parents and the family pets. We were now seeing each other basically all day everyday, where we had only spent around four nights a week together when we had lived in the city. We did not know anyone who lived in Devon and things began to become strained.

My girlfriend was now becoming quite moody and often stated that she wanted to move back. I certainly did not want to and hoped that she would soon grow to love Devon, as I did, and that she would meet new friends. I was still very happy to live with her and felt sure that it was just teething pains.

One day I arrived back at the bungalow where we lived, after doing some food shopping. I opened the door which to my surprise had been locked. Her car was not there and I wondered where she may have gone to. As I entered the living room, to my horror I found that many things were no longer there. Pictures I had purchased, the dvd player, the stereo and many ornaments had been taken. I looked around the rest of the bungalow and found many other items also missing.

It suddenly dawned on me that she had left me, and also taken as you have read a lot of stuff. I did not care about any of the items but was gutted that she had obviously dumped me. I was sat on a chair and could not stop crying.

I then decided to phone her but half way through dialing the number I stopped myself. I sat down and thought about what I may have done wrong. I could not think of anything major, I had not hit her, I had not cheated on her, the only thing I could think of is that I had not agreed to move back to the city with her.

I decided not to call her and started to think about all of the things I disliked about her, for example her mood swings. There were to be no more tears and instead I was going to celebrate being single by drinking a few beers and by ordering a pizza. She hated me drinking beer, but now I could.

I thought in a positive way about the future and was determined to stick it out in Devon. I will meet somebody else I thought to myself.

It was not easy to think in this way and I did miss her, I had after all dated her for a long time. She did not seem to miss me however as she did not phone me once to see how I was. This made me angry and actually made me think that I could probably do better. How would she have reacted if I had done something wrong, if this is how she is going to react when I haven't, I thought to myself. I would have at least thought she could have given me an ultimatem, for example I will leave you if you do not move back with me. Problem is what would I have done then.

As luck has it, I actually met my present fiancee the day after this all happened. We now have a child together and I could not be happier.

In conclusion, always think in a positive way, if you have done in your own mind nothing wrong, there is nothing to worry about. The person who has dumped you is probably not worth it anyway as the whole ethos of a proper relationship, is about support and about sticking together through the good times and the bad. If they are going to walk at the first sign of trouble they are probably not the person you thought they were.

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What Do We Get From Relationship Counseling?

Ideally, everyone would like to be in a good relationship. In order to have such a relationship, it is necessary for us to continually develop and maintain it.

It is indeed a lifetime commitment for us. Whatever age bracket we belong to or experience in life our relationship will encounter new and demanding challenges. For us to meet these challenges, we should develop flexible skills and better understanding. And there are different types of relationship. The relationship of a couple is perhaps the most important in our society.

It is the primary relationship in the life of the people. It is the basic unit of society. Some relationships are basically sexual. All relationship that are healthy and good are based on mutual respect and can communicate effectively to each other.

But we cannot deny the fact that there will always be problems in the relationship later on. Now the question is how are we going to solve the problems? And that will be the role of relationship counseling. It will guide us to make the right decision. The role of the counselor is not give the solution but to lead us in the process of decision making. This is in contrast with the role of an adviser wherein he is expected to give a definite decision by the concerned individual.

Relationship counseling will give us new outlook and helpful alternatives. The counseling itself will equip us updated methods and way in order to face life`s challenges. In the counseling process, the couple will be given time to express their needs and fears and later on they will decide wisely whatever ill feelings and misunderstanding. It helps in the removal of hindrances for an intimate relationship. Conflicts are easily resolved by both parties. The skills in communicating are enhanced. Relationships are very much improved. People at present are very effective in communicating their thoughts and ideas. They could respond to situations instead of criticizing and complaining. Differences of ideas and beliefs are discussed instead of destroying the reputation of the other person.

The parties involved in the relationship must be aware of their behavior in order to know how the relationship is affected. Let us remember that the main concern of relationship counseling is about the relationship. Relationship is actually is put to the test most of the time. We have a wounded relationship. That is the reason why relationship is taken as a patient to be cured and fixed. Relationship counseling is centered on how both parties answer the different issues they are supposed to face. There are some of them who do not respond, while others respond effectively. The good of the relationship is the primary concern for some people, while others do not bother.

If we are going to undergo relationship counseling, then what are some of the things we could learn as and individual and a couple? We could mention a lot of them.

As an individual

?We will be able to discover a healthy relationship.
?Improvement of one relationship.
?We will be able to know what is needed in a relationship.
?Knowing the obstacles of being close and committed.
?Be able to make the relationship full of life, healthy and more fun.

As a couple

?Acquire a relationship that is full of love and fulfillment.
?Be able to discuss the reasons why we have relationship problems
?Able to end conflicts in a healthy manner.
?Able to resolve issues in relation to commitment.
?To have more intimacy and enjoyment in the relationship

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You Can Improve Your Relationship

It seems as if creating successful relationships with our significant others and parenting children are two of the most difficult jobs we face and yet we get no formal training in either. It as if people believe that we are born with an inherent ability to do these two things. Yet, look around us. In the US, the divorce rate is slightly over 50%! I don know anywhere but baseball where a 50% average is a good thing.

Couples go through life getting along when times are good; and fighting with, ignoring, or leaving each other when things get tough. Most people believe that to seek help with their relationships means to admit a certain kind of defeat that says something about who they are as a person. Or possibly, they believe that relationships are something we are just supposed to be able to manage on our own. Or, finally, some people believe that those out there helping couples can know any more than they do. After all, what to know about keeping relationships together?

Well, the truth is that there is a whole lot to learn when it comes to relationships. Unfortunately, the only training most of us ever receive is the passive learning we get through the modeling of the adults who live in our house with us and the media. Now, I don know about you, but my parents had only received the informal training they got from their parents, and they from my great grandparents and so on back through the generations. There is so much more to know about relationships than that!

Also, my parents have helped support that 50% statistic cited earlier in that they divorced sometime around their 25th wedding anniversary. What I learned about relationships from watching them is that couples never argue, especially in front of the children. On the surface, my parents had a very happy marriage but my father experienced a stereotypical mid-life crisis and suddenly questioned the meaning of ife?and decided marriage was holding him back somehow.

In some ways, this type of training may have been as bad as those who have parents who argue all the time. Disagreements are a natural by-product of relationships. It is virtually impossible for two people to come together and create a life without some of their ideals, values, opinions or day-to-day activities coming into conflict with each other. The question becomes how the couple manages this conflict.

There are many things to consider when speaking about couples and their challenges and areas for growth and development. The first is compatibility. I know there is an expression that says opposites attract and I believe there is some accuracy in that statement when you think of attraction as that chemical interaction that occurs when two people meet and are attracted. This chemical attraction doesn care what the other person values are, what is important to him or her, the personality characteristics involved, or what either of you likes to do in your spare time. Compatibility is a key for a successful, healthy relationship. Go to www.therelationshipcenter.biz and take the free Assessment to determine your compatibility with your partner.

A second consideration is simply that there are major differences in how men are in relationships compared to how women are. Women generally don understand men because the men don act like women and similarly, men don understand women because they don act like men. And since a woman has never been a man and a man has never been a woman, how does each learn about these important differences? John Gray researched and wrote about these issues in his book, Men are from Mars; Women are from Venus. But I would say that the majority of people in relationships don take the time to learn about these gender differences. It is easier to point a finger and blame the other person for his or her rrational?behavior.

As mentioned earlier, a third area of growth is learning how to manage conflict. There are time proven methods for resolving conflict that we don learn in school or from a book. There are ways to actually hear each other in relationships. By placing the relationship FIRST in importance, these methods can be implemented by couples to greatly improve their satisfaction.

There is so much to learn about satisfying relationships that your parents never showed you. Please don become one of the statistics of divorce or perhaps worse, stay in a miserable relationship to honor your marriage vows while having so many regrets about your life as the time ticks away.

Take charge and take control of your life. Learn some new ways to improve the relationship you are already in or to prepare yourself for being a better, improved partner for the next person in your life. Contact Kim at 708-957-6047 or email at Kim@TheRelationshipCenter.biz about relationship coaching or take one the many Teleclasses scheduled on the Events Calendar at www.TheRelationshipCenter.biz. Don wait until it is too late.

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Things to Consider Before Beginning a New Romantic Relationship

Beginning a new romantic relationship can add excitement to your life; the kind of thrill you get when you put your nose in the center of a freshly cut rose, taking in the wonderful aroma. Or perhaps opening up a beautifully wrapped package from someone special and getting the ift?youe always wanted.

Amazing sensations go through your whole body. But we must remember not to get caught up in these wonderful feelings and forget that a successful relationship takes some work.

Here are some suggestions when embarking on a new romantic journey:

?Keep it fresh ?Every date, every moment shared together, and every activity you participate in with that special someone should evolve around a fresh and creative idea.

?Leave your baggage at the door ?Your new romantic interest will sure to tire of constantly hearing all the details of your last disastrous relationship. Keep the conversation limited to the wonderful uture?or the antastic?here and now.

?Dress to impress ?Yes ?We know pumps and ties on dates are pass?? But, sweatpants and dirty sneakers are best left for all the omfy?married couples.

?Forgive and Forget ?Forgive him or her if they forget your first month anniversary or that you don like artificial sweetener in your coffee. Expect little and sometimes you get more than you thought possible. Expect too much and we only set ourselves up for disappointment. Forgive their trivial shortcomings and move on. Don forget ?We are only human and therefore make mistakes.


?Some good things must come to an end ?You can expect every new relationship to end in edded bliss? If you truly believe there is someone out there for you, give yourself a break and move on. If the relationship turns stale, in the end it is sometimes in your best interest to head in another direction. Not all broken relationships can be mended; so don go razy?trying to fix every defect in a relationship.


Truly successful romantic relationships are possible. The getting there may be a long road ?but once you are there it can be one of the most rewarding experiences you can have.

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What Makes A Relationship A Box Of Chocolates?

 love you.?What a punch these three simple words can bring ?if it delivered the right way.

The thing is, some people just can say it comfortably without the words tripping out of their mouths. You think theyl morph and turn into ogres, the way they squirm and go around beating around the bush before finally saying the words.

Then there are also those who openly say the words but don really mean it. Nevertheless, it doesn matter if they do or don say the words. What matters is that a relationship remains honest and happy.

What are the things that make a relationship work anyway? The same factors work for all kinds of relationship. Whether it a relationship between lovers, among family members, friends, office workers, and business partners, the same foundations apply for it to work.

If a pillar is missing, the whole thing crumbles. Three pillars make up the foundation. We call the three pillars The Relationship Tripod.

Let us discuss them in detail:

The Companionship Leg

First, it must be understood that a relationship requires at least two people for it to exist, let alone work. You must be visible to the other person.

If the relationship is long distance, you must at least feel that the other one is there. It won do any good to take the other existence for granted and count on the other to check up on you. You must also show compassion.

If you keep up the show of indifference, it just spells failure. The other person needs to sense your feelings for them. Show them kindness, gentleness, sensitivity - anything that shows you care for them. It not that hard to say  always here for you,?is it? Whoever receives this show of affection must give something back. Everyone must do his or her part in a relationship because it a give and take condition.

The Compromise Leg

As mentioned earlier, a relationship is a give-and-take situation. Not all people are made alike; even if two people are so uncannily similar, there might still exist small differences that could spark an argument.

This is why an agreement has to be reached on every argument, whether petty or vital. All kinds are important, especially when it comes to a relationship. Someone has to win and someone has to give in. This is why the discussion of differences is so essential.

Discuss the disparity: What is the problem? Why is it a problem? Who should compromise and adjust to the problem? All these should be resolved. Conceding sometimes doesn make you a loser; rather, it goes to show how important a relationship is to you.  guess youe right.?These words could be the balm of your disputes.

The Communication Leg

There would be no discussion of differences, no showing of affection, and no saying of words without communication. This third and last leg is probably the most vital in a relationship. It enables us to know what the other party feels and what is needed to make the partnership work.

It gives us the ability to say the words that are wanted and needed. In short, the other two legs won happen if the last one isn present. Just a small act of communication could go a long way in improving a relationship.

You can do simple things like writing a small note on a piece of paper, or writing short emails at least occasionally. Do something to give truth to your existence and your relationship. Don take this for granted, because a lot of relationships crumble due to lack of any contact.

Take the long distance relationship, for instance. A lot fail, but some succeed because they make contact with each other almost every day. Even business associates keep in contact by sending each other progress reports.

Any form of relationship is a box of chocolates, as Forrest Gump puts it. Some tastes good and some don. Overall, the experience of having a box of chocolates gives you a good feeling because eating each and every piece of chocolate gives an experience - an experience of bitterness, sweetness, or even bitter-sweetness. You don get every flavor that you desire in a box.

So if you are looking for a relationship that is easy on the heart and mind, get ready for the harsh reality. It entails the effort of everyone involved for it to work well.

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To End or Not to End Your Relationship

Vanessa, 30 years old, is struggling with whether or not to end her six-year marriage. The answer is not at all clear to her.

Vanessa and Jon have a ood?marriage. They are kind and caring with each other. They enjoy many of the same things. So why is Vanessa in such turmoil over whether to stay or leave?

The problem is that Vanessa is very lonely with Jon. They are good friends, but they are not emotionally intimate. Jon has no desire to share any of his feelings with Vanessa, nor does he have any desire to understand Vanessa feelings. He is content to keep everything on the surface, while Vanessa wants a deeper emotional connection.

Since they have many good things in their marriage, Vanessa has decided to try marriage counseling, and Jon has agreed. Counseling or not, there is only one thing that can save this marriage ?Jon and Vanessa shifting out of their intent to protect against pain and into an intent to learn about what is loving to themselves and each other.

Jon intent has always been to protect against pain rather than to learn about being loving to himself and others. He has done this by numbing out his feeling with marijuana and work. Jon choice to continue to protect against pain or to begin to open to learning from his feelings will determine the outcome of the counseling.

Vanessa, too, has operated with the intent to protect against pain. She has ignored her own feelings and been a ood?wife, submerging her own needs to comply with what Jon wanted. But at some point, she shifted her intent to learning about what is loving to herself, and now she realizes she cannot continue in an emotionally disconnected marriage.

The issues in your relationship may be about emotional distance, lack of passion, sexual problems, constant fighting, emotional abuse, (if there is physical abuse, then you must find a way to leave), or being used financially. There may be control and resistance occurring around many different issues. Yet the underlying issue is a lack of open and caring communication. And open communication only occurs when both people have a deep intention to learn about their feelings, fears, limiting beliefs, and resulting unloving behavior. If one or both people in a relationship are closed to learning about themselves and each other, the relationship will not heal.

If you are thinking about leaving your relationship, first think about your own intent. Are you open to learning about your feelings, beliefs and behavior? Or, are you devoted to protecting against pain with anger, withdrawal, resistance or caretaking? Are you avoiding your feelings with substances and activities, or are you opening to learning from your feelings and exploring yourself with a process such as the Inner Bonding process that we teach? The first thing you need to do is deal with your own intent.

Once you are open to learning for a number of months, and really doing your inner work, then re-evaluate your relationship. Has anything changed? Is your partner more or less open to you? Are you talking more and fighting or withdrawing less?

If things are not getting better or are getting worse, then it is time to ask your partner if he or she is willing to do some healing work with you ?through counseling, workshops, and reading books together. If your partner refuses to embark on a learning journey with you, then it is clear that this relationship will not change. At this point, you need to either fully accept it as it is or leave it. It will not become the relationship you want it to be unless both of you are open to learning.

If one or both partners remain in the intent to protect, the relationship will not heal. Yet most relationships can be healed when both people are deeply devoted to learning about loving themselves and each other.

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Tips In Solving Relationship Problems

It can not be denied that relationships have been considered as the source of a loving relationship that is full of support, enthusiasm and pleasure, whether the relationship is in the family or to somebody you are intimately in love with. And we would like to experience such a relationship to last until death. Hence, we exert so much effort in order to nurture and to make it perfect if possible.

Whether we like it or not it can also be source of sadness and distress when it fails to address the basic elements for a good relationship. This is the reality of what they call relationship problem. To have a relationship problem does not necessarily follow that the relationship we started will automatically doom to failure. That will not be the case to happen. There is still a chance to fix it.

However, we will be required to do some extra effort to keep things intact. There are many couples who take things for granted. They do not bother their relationship problems, still with great hope that the problems will just disappear by itself. They reconcile with each other but never bother to examine what had occurred or why it happened and to find some solutions to the problem.

In view of this indifference, a majority of the couples are going through series of problems. There are some problems which are not too difficult to solve compared to others. And there is a need to really to ask for professional help from a counselor. A number of people believes that the professional guidance helps them in recovering their relationship and enabled them to discover different ways to work out their problems and resolve that it will not happen again in the future. Therefore, it is a must for every couple to deal immediately with their problems in order to be in the back in the right path and continually improve the relationship. Always seek some ways of getting back and relight the fading intimacy of love.

Relationship problems will always be part of our human existence. What do you think are the causes of such problems? Being too close to somebody can give us moral support, consolation and joy, but it could also be a source of grief, disappointment and misery. Secondly, we have ups and downs of being attracted. Sometimes, we do not feel to approach the person. We want to be alone. There are times that we are passive and not eager to see our beloved. And this can strain the relationship.

Sad to say, we have minimal control along this line of the relationship. Thirdly, we have the demands from our work and financial stability. We can not do away from their concrete pressures because are the sources of our life as a human being. They provide the basic necessities of life. Lastly, the differences in our goals to achieve and our expectations from each other so as to sustain the relationship. I suppose these are the areas of concern that we should immediately address in order to make some changes for satisfaction of the relationship. It will eventually lead us to grow together.

What are the most common problems of a relationship? We have the following problems namely, the communication is very poor, poor skill in solving problems, lack of support from one companion, and no quality time for each other.

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Want to improve your relationship with your wife?

Recently, my wife, 7 year old daughter and I decided that since it was such a beautiful, cool, and slightly breezy evening that we would take a blanket outside, spread it out on the lawn with some refreshments, and enjoy the evening reading books.

I grabbed a book that I had wanted to finish for a while, strapped on my seatbelt as it were, and got ready for some serious, uninterrupted reading.

Except there was one little problem?
My wife and daughter grabbed a book they aid?they were going to read together. And for the next hour and a half that we spent on the lawn, they were both up and down, in and out of the house, giggling, laughing, playing, getting this, getting that, teasing each other, and in general, fooling around. If doubt they read 10 lines of text the whole time.

Now on my end, I wanting to read my book and so I found myself starting to feel a little bit aggravated. My focus was on reading and anything that interrupted me or distracted me from my reading was a nuisance and an irritant.

In fact, I went so far as to say to them, ou girls aren getting much reading done are you??
It was their look of puzzlement, that look at me as if I was from outer-space or some foreign place that caused me to remember that which I already knew?
Females are focused on relating. And anything that interrupts them or distracts them from their relating is a nuisance and an irritant.

And therein lies the ub? Men are focused on the oing?while the women are focused on onnecting?

So how do you improve your relationship with your wife?

Of course, there are many answers to this question, but pertaining to this article, the way to improve your relationship with your wife is to force yourself to set aside whatever it is that you are oing?

Totally forget about oing?anything and instead focus on the onnecting?and elating?that she wanting.

Realize that whatever the oing?part is supposed to be is really nothing more than a platform upon which she wants to onnect?and elate?

But be warned, if you take time onnect?and elate?to and with her, she might end up oing?you if you get my drift?

Happily, that exactly what happened to me.

###

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Solitaire Engagement Rings

Every girl dreams of the day when that special young man will propose, and she will be able to wear a diamond engagement ring on her left hand. There are many different styles and designs of rings, but solitaire engagement rings are one of the all-time favorites.

Solitaire engagement rings are the perfect symbol of true love and romance. Solitaire engagement ring has only one sparkling and blossom diamond with no side stone that signifies the oneness that means your relationship is eternal and two hearts will stay as a single forever. Because of its timeless commitment, aesthetic look and everlasting love symbol, it has become the most popular choice for presenting and placing the same on ring finger of soon to be bride on the most auspicious occasion that is engagement.

Solitaire engagement rings although simple can be very expensive; you may have to spend an amount of few months' salary for it. This setting is one of the most popular settings when it comes to engagement rings. Maybe because of its classic appeal and its simplicity, also this setting looks perfect with almost all the gemstones you might want it to have.

While choosing ring, there is no need to be panic since a wide option and alternative of rings is available in market to choose an ideal one. Another thing to consider while selecting stone, you must highlight the characteristics of the ring rather giving more emphasis on the size of stone. Shape of the ring is vital part and so many shapes are available so look the shapes that suit you very much however, round and heart shape diamond is the most popular one because it boosts the beauty of solitaire engagement ring without additional stones.

If you are looking for affordable solitaire engagement ring then online jewellery stores are the best place. But before buying your ring online you must keep few things in your mind. Always remember by surfing the internet you can find many online jewellery stores but not all are trustworthy. There are many fake online stores offering low quality of engagement rings. Hence before buying your ring it is good to check the credibility of the store. Always remember that if you will buy your ring from the reputed store then you will be assured that you are buying a ring of good quality. And always remember that all the reputed stores will provide you the certification issued by world top laboratories such as IGI, GIA and AGL.

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Reclaiming the Lost Love through Flowers

Have you spent like a decade or more in your marriage? Are you noticing a significant decrease in the level of intimacy you are showing to each other? Maybe it's your hectic work schedule that is taking all your time such that you are forgetting you have a wife to give attention and love.

Coming tired from work, you cantt even ask your wife how was her day like. You can't even bother to eat the food she prepared for you because you are too tired or you are still full from a dinner meeting with a client. You can't even seem to notice that she has pampered herself and made herself attractive just for you to take a glance of her.

But these things don't hinder her to get your very precious attention. She's wearing cosmetics and perfume eve she's just home. When you come home at night, she's dressed up in her sexy lingerie, just to be ignored again. Until you noticed yourself that she has lost interest in these things.

Coming home at night, there's a food prepared for you but your wife is soundly snoring at your room. Waking her up would just result in turning to the other side of the bed. This isn't the scenario you would want to end up.

Making matters worse, you noticed one time that your wife has slept with the computer still on. Browsing through the history of the websites she had visited exploded a surprise before your eyes. Your wife is visiting the sites of online florists daily.

Your wife has now been consuming her whole time browsing through the galleries of online florists. She was dreaming of receiving some of those beautiful flower arrangements comprised of her most favourite flowers. The sight of these websites should have made you ponder that your wife is traveling back in time. She's traveling back to the days when you'd suddenly come from her behind and hand a bouquet of beautiful red Kunming roses for her.

Munching over to her reminiscence of these sweet moments along with the things she had done in the past brings you to a realization that you ignored the attempts she had made to ignite the spark of your love again.

If this is your case, there is no better thing for you to do than to surprise her with a flower delivery service in an instance when she's not expecting it. With the assistance of an online florist such as www.gogoflorist.com, you can select a flower arrangement that your wife will best like. Choose arrangements comprised of flowers she wants the most. Ensure that the colours are her likes too. Include an order of the wine you both enjoy to drink while you were just dating. Instruct the florist to have the flowers delivered before you get home.

You'll be surprised in return for the thing you think is a simple task you've done. But for your wife it's an important time she'll never forget for it's when you have responded and brought back the lost spark in your relationship. Be prepared for hugs and kisses she'll shower you. Don't forget to drink the wine and grab the opportunity to profess your renewed love towards an intimate night that will both take you to satisfaction.See how a bunch of roses can make a difference in your relationship!

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Analyzing the Love-Sex Chemistry

Let's analyze some of the problems that lovers face most often.

Lack of trust on either side is the major problem creator in a relationship. Women chiefly succumb to unnecessary suspicion resulting in an eventual break up with their partners. On the other hand, men hate being nagged randomly. However, this does not mean that men can take their partners for granted. The best thing a couple can do is to allow equal space to each other; confide in their darkest secrets, and try to figure out mutual problems.

It's very important for couples to know each other. No two persons are alike and hence one must respect each other's identity. One should not try to make an argument out of insignificant things. However, if arguments take place, make sure that you attempt reconciliation. Showing that 'you care' is one of the best kept secrets in a loving relationship.

Notwithstanding the above-mentioned issues, there crops up some intimate problems, which demand more attention and perhaps even professional support. Many partners shy away from the most wonderful gift of God to mankind- sex. Sexual encounter is an inevitable aspect of conjugal life and trying to remain celibate post marriage is quite illogical. Failure as an ideal sex partner might be another trouble in your sex life. A situation might arise wherein your passion has lost its erstwhile spark or you have been unable to light a single spark in the first night itself! Dissatisfaction in a relationship often calls for extra-marital affairs or adultery. The result- more trouble, more pain.

These love pangs can best be sorted with the help of professional sex experts or 'sexperts'. The sexpert can guide you to tackle your love challenges wittingly. With their guidance and support, you can actually sail smoothly over the intermittent waves of love and sex.

In the beginning, when love is new, romance, courting and conquest are aphrodisiacs, stimulants that increase our appetite for sexual union. Eventually the chase ends, hearts are won, and lifetime pledges are made. The happy couple says "I do," strolls off into the sunset together, destined to be lovers forever.

So what happens? The newness fades, the passion flees. Where does it go? Does it get mortgaged along with the house? Disposed with the diapers? Years ago, Mary, age 49, shyly told her family doctor that she had lost interest in having sex with her husband. She was told this was a natural event, that women eventually lose interest and that's the way it is. For some women, she was told, it comes earlier. Today, Mary might be offered testosterone patches to fire up her lagging libido!

Martin, age 59, is having erectile difficulties. Viagra? to the rescue!

Times may have changed, but is it really just a story of diminishing hormones and loss of blood flow? The popularity of these new biologically-based treatments attest to their effectiveness as sexual aids. Yet we continue to yearn for the fulfillment of a deeper intimacy. Reviving the mechanics of our sex life may help, but it does not fully address the hunger in our hearts. We desire even more than the wonderful climax of sexual release. We crave a connection with our partner's soul. We ache to embrace a love that lights up our eyes, that enlivens our very being.

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Communication in a Relationship

Communication is a vital part of our lives: a typical day involves many interactions between ourselves, our work colleagues and clients, our children, our friends, our ex's, future relationships, etc. This interaction takes place where we live, work, relax, socialize and wherever we perform routine tasks.

Communication skills are critical for building healthy relationships, especially when one realizes that one of the most common causes of relational breakdown is a lack of communication. Just as communication can be the most important part of a relationship; arguments can be the most destructive aspect - the closer we are to someone, the more easily we can bruise or be bruised. There is very little truth in the saying: "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never harm me." It's not what we say, but rather how we say it, that most often hurts another person.

Do you identify with any of these statements?

"He never listens to me when I talk!"

"She talks and talks, but never actually says anything!"

"It's like talking to a brick wall"

"I can't get through to you"

"We can't talk about anything important without getting into a fight"

"She's too emotional - she's either crying or shouting or complaining. It's easier to avoid her"

"He always gets defensive when I try to talk about issues"

Communication is a complex process; of which speaking only makes up for 10-20%. The other 80-90% is made up by facial expressions, body language, tone of voice, etc.

Communication is the art/ science of transferring a thought/ idea/ information from the mind of one complex human being to the mind of one or more complex human being(s). For communication to be effective, it must be a two-way process.

Dynamics of Interpersonal Communication

1. Facts: are both people communicating about the same set of facts? Try to separate the facts from thoughts or feelings.

2. Interpretations, Thoughts or Perceptions: Each person interprets a fact differently based on their belief system, personality, values and experience.

3. Feelings: how we are feeling, our current mood and frame of mind, etc can sub-consciously affect decisions and thoughts.

4. Intentions, Needs or Wants: hidden agendas; are we looking for comfort, clarification, information or simply a chance to interact? We judge ourselves on our intentions.

5. Actions: choice of words (is the intent to create harm?) + tone of voice + non-verbal speech = body language, posture, eye contact, facial expressions, etc.

"The medium is the message" => the way the message is delivered is the message itself.

6. Self: The communication centre, which includes the issue, topic or conflict at hand, has been "filtered" by the facts, interpretations, thoughts, feelings, intentions, and choices of behaviour / actions.

Listening and Feedback

Did I say what I meant to say? - Invite feedback to clarify communication.

Someone who's not listening lets their mind drift and is already preparing the next argument or opposing thought; inaccurate feedback or limited eye contact.

Listening is an active, not a passive process. When two people argue, they only hear "what they want to hear", not what's actually said. This equates to the accusation of "not listening". Most couples start arguing and within 5 minutes are arguing about the way they are arguing.

Don't argue when you're angry - you will not be able to listen objectively. Give yourself time to cool down and then broach the subject when you are in a more reasonable frame of mind.

It's important to give feedback - checking and confirming. Did I understand you correctly? Is this what you mean? I heard you say this: am I right? Feedback can be verbal / non-verbal e.g. a nod, smile, silence or a cold shoulder. No feedback is in itself a form of feedback.

If the words and actions contradict each other, it is better to believe the actions!

Conflict Resolution

Conflict resolution can either be Constructive or Destructive.

Destructive Style - hinders or inhibits the conflict resolution process:

Confrontational (win or lose, blaming)

Sabotage (focus on weak points, shaming)

Manipulation (blackmail, withdrawal)

Giving in (passive, submissive)

Avoidance (denial, withdrawal)

Constructive Style ? trying to minimize the issues and avoiding the difficulties in resolving the problems:

Compromise (meet halfway, understanding)

Accommodate (open discussion, communication without confrontation)

Partnership (solutions, forgiveness, honesty)

When trying to resolve conflicts, try to clarify your goals, as you will probably share many of the same goals despite of your differences. Avoid bargaining, as this may lead to each party taking a rigid position which in turn can flare tempers.

When resolving conflicts, remember that their causes may run deep. Sweeping issues under the carpet isn?t going to work in the long term, as old baggage will be brought up each time an argument starts. Try to fully resolve each issue as it comes along. You may find the following method useful:

1. Ask the other person for their feelings. Your conflict probably isn?t about the issue that caused it to start in the first place. Don?t forget that your goal is sorting out the problem, not winning an argument!

2. Ask the other person to define the problem. Stick to solving one problem at a time, that way you can understand each problem as the other person sees it.

3. Express your own feelings. Be careful to word them carefully, for example use phrases such as ?I feel?? rather than ?I think you??

4. Define the problem as you see it. As your feelings come out, the solution may become clearer. Remember that by you listening to the other person; you will have set the tone for them to listen to you.

5. Create multiple solutions. Don?t go back to your original agenda. Aim to find alternative or creative solutions that reduce emotions and tension.

6. Rate the possible solutions. Remember that no one can force an unacceptable solution on the other.

7. Combine and create a mutually acceptable solution. Create something acceptable to both parties, if this doesn?t work ? go back to step 1 and ensure both parties are being totally honest.

8. Be sure both parties agree to work towards resolving the issue.

Troubleshooting For Problems in Communication

Control or Power Issues: Effective communication cannot take place if one person has "control" over the other or where there is not mutual respect and equality of relationship. To stay in control leads to relational isolation as the underdog reacts in anger at being manipulated or belittled.

Triangulation: Do not bring in a third party to avoid direct confrontation. If you have a problem with someone, go directly to that person. Don't dump your accusations on mutual friends or your children in the hope of winning support to balance the scales in your favour - it leads to more substantial and long-lasting damage, especially when a child is used as a weapon between parents.

19 Steps to Effective Communication

1. See communication as an opportunity to praise, build-up, affirm, heal, support and give positive reinforcement, rather than to correct, criticise, tear down, hurt, wound, lash out at. Praise opens doors to further communication, while criticism shuts them down.

2. Remember that actions speak louder than words; non-verbal communication usually is more powerful than verbal communication. Avoid double messages in which the verbal and the non-verbal messages convey something contradictory. (Credibility gap)

3. Define what is important and stress it; define what is unimportant and de-emphasise or ignore it. Avoid fault-finding.

4. Communicate in ways that show respect for the other person?s worth as a human being. ?Avoid statements which begin with the words ?You never ?? or ?I think you ??.

5. Be clear and specific in your communication. Avoid vagueness.

6. Be realistic and reasonable in your statements. Avoid exaggeration and sentences which begin with ?You always ??

7. Test all your assumptions verbally by asking if they are accurate. Avoid acting until this is done.

8. Recognize that each event can be seen from different points of view. Avoid assuming that other people see things like you do. (Perception)

9. Recognize that your family members and close friends are experts on you and your behaviour. Avoid the tendency to deny their observations about you ? especially if you are not sure.

10. Recognize that disagreement can be a meaningful form of communication. Avoid destructive arguments.

11. Be honest and open about your feelings and viewpoints. Bring up all significant problems even if you are afraid that doing so will disturb another person. Speak the truth in love. Avoid sullen silences.

12. Do not put down and/or manipulate the other person with tactics such as ridicule, interrupting, name-calling, changing the subject, blaming, bugging, sarcasm, criticism, pouting, guilt-inducing, etc. Avoid the one-upmanship game.

13. Be more concerned about how your communication affects others than about what you intended. Avoid getting bitter if you are misunderstood.

14. Accept all feelings and try to understand why others feel and act as they do. Avoid the tendency to say, ?you shouldn?t feel like that.?

15. Be tactful considerate and courteous. Avoid taking advantage of the other person?s feelings.

16. Ask questions and listen carefully. Avoid preaching or lecturing.

17. Do not use excuses. Avoid falling for the excuses of others.

18. Speak kindly politely and softly. Avoid nagging yelling or whining.

19. Recognize the value of humour and seriousness. Avoid destructive teasing.

Summary

As you look ahead to new relationships, you need to be able to break old and faulty communication patterns to allow for healthier interaction. The use of praise and positive reinforcement will reconstruct wounded and broken self-images and will build self-esteem, particularly in children. By becoming an effective communicator, you will also grow and become a better person which will positively enhance all your relationships.

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Online Dating- Is it worth the time?

Life is a cycle that begins with love. God loved you and so he created you. Your father and mother loved each other, and so they started dating. They went out of their way just to meet each other or rather create time for each other so that they could simply create you.

When you were born, you began to feel. Hunger became part of you. You started feeling pain when you were spanked on the ass by the doctor. You started shedding tears when you miss your mum. Sometimes even the nanny did not quite understand you because you only mode of deep expression was to cry. The single time you would be understood by anyone was if you would smile. You see a smile from a baby speaks a thousand or even more words. Most of the times it means that you are happy and relaxed. It means that all is well within you. All of a sudden, it may turn upside down, and tears start streaming down your face. You thought that since the people around you understood your smile then definitely they will understand your frown. Quite often this is not the case. They even begin to get angry at you, but you are simply telling them that you have pooped yourself. You start to wonder in that simple baby brain of yours ?Is pooping wrong? Can?t can't I just help myself without all the fuss?? You are stuck in reverse.

Sooner than you know it, you begin to grow. Your needs start to change. You no longer require a napkin to protect you from going to the toilet on yourself. You simply just walk to the toilet and flash it after you. After a few years, you start getting attracted to people in a way that you cannot understand. You start to feel that you cannot go a day without talking to them. In other terms, you begin to feel an unexplained love.

This has led to the development of online dating services. An online dating service is where you can get dating ideas if you are out of them. In other words, you can ask dating questions. You can also simply date online. There are many online dating sites where you can ask relationship questions, issues on dating women, issues on how to find a date, issues on how to meet people and even where to find love online. Online dating is a platform where women seeking men or men seeking women can be found. If you are into a different complexion, dating sites make it possible for inter racial dating. On line dating has led to an increase in interracial dating especially among LA singles. The most prominent dating service is free online dating. We can learn from mistakes of other people when dating. Dating in LA can teach you how to date online. Therefore, if you are single in LA, there are singles in LA just waiting for you.

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Which Male Enhancement Method is Right for You?

At some point in their lives, many men would consider trying a male enhancement method ? due to insecurities or hardness issues. When they do decide that it?s time they looked into it, they?ll either be pleasantly surprised or overwhelmed by the number of websites dedicated to male enhancement products.

There are several male enhancement methods you can choose from. Some will work for you, some won?t, and some will work better than the others. To make it a little easier for you, here?s an overview of the most popular male enhancement strategies:

Traction Male Enhancement Devices

Anyone can use a traction device, also known as a penis extender or stretcher. There are no restrictions of any kind on what makes a man better suited for using these male enhancement devices. These are highly recommended for men who have a lot of patience and have no issues with taking their time.

Manufacturers guarantee a permanent increase in length, which is made slowly over many months. Traction male enhancement devices can also help treat Peyronie?s disease or penis curvature.

The downside is you will definitely have to endure some pain and even if the device is covered with your clothes, it?s still going to be obvious that you have some sort of gadget down there ? if you?re brave enough to wear it while in a public place.

Male Enhancement Surgery

If you?re in good physical condition, have time for the recovery process, and have money to burn, then you?re a good candidate for male enhancement surgery, either to increase girth or length. Surgical procedures are invasive, so men who have a strong constitution will be have a lower risk of secondary infection.

The recovery process requires time. You will need about one to two weeks of total rest after going under the knife before you can go back to work. It also requires a big sacrifice because you won?t be able to have sex for several months. Double ouch.

Male Enhancement Supplements

Male enhancement supplements are formulated to help you address erection issues that are unrelated to a medical condition. They only provide temporary penis enlargement. If you?re interested in having harder, larger, and longer erections, these natural penis pills can help almost all men. They are affordable, convenient, and totally non-invasive. You don?t need to worry about discomfort, pain, or recovery time. Besides enhancing your erections, they also help support your overall sexual health.

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Know about Different Wedding Traditions

Wedding traditions vary significantly from one tradition to another and from one religion to another. Couples who don?t practice the religion want a holy or cultural wedding.

Here are few wedding traditions from different cultures. If you like any of these wedding traditions that has meaning for you, adapt it freely for celebrating your wedding, without thinking about the culture from which it came.

1. Chinese wedding traditions

In Chinese wedding traditions, couples drink goblets of wine and honey. The bride eats jujubes, a date like fruit in order to raise the possibility of having a boy in the future.

2. African-American wedding traditions

Most of the couples from this tradition want to select traditional east African wedding ceremonies, but most have an American wedding. More couples incorporate the ?jumping the broom? practice into their weddings.

This custom is invented during the period of slavery when slaves are forbidden to marry. This is a way to express their commitment to one another. In African culture, they use brooms to remove evil from their homes and families. Some others think that this custom is a way to reject the evil that prohibits their union.

3. Jewish wedding traditions

These weddings are filled with tradition, beauty and ritual. Traditions greatly vary between Ashkenazi Jews and Sephardi Jews. Weddings should adhere more strictly to religious traditions if it is a traditional or conservative synagogue when compared to Reform or Reconstructionist synagogue.

Orthodox groom veil the bride in the ceremony prior to the actual wedding. Then groom signs a contract. It is a beautifully decorated document which consists of the promises that groom makes for the bride. The couple should cover their heads. Wedding is usually held in a canopy. After saying the vow, groom puts a gold band to bride?s finger.

4. Native American wedding traditions

There are various American tribes, whereas some wedding traditions are shared by several tribes. Some of these wedding traditions include:

? Northern California wedding traditions: There are two traditions in Northern California Native Americans. They include half marriage and full marriage. In half marriage, man pays half the usual price for the bride. He needs to live in bride?s home under her father?s authority. In full marriage, the man pays the total price of the bride. With his father?s help, he pays for the bride?s family. The future social status of the family and children depends on this price only.

? Delaware traditions: The girl in this tradition who reached puberty may have a union prearranged by their parents. The couple lives together as man and wife. During the occasion, man gives jewelry, blankets or a belt of wampum to bride?s parents. If the parents accept those gifts, then they approve their relation.

? Hopi tradition: In this tradition, either the male or female propose for the relation by presenting food gifts. Marriages are not permitted in this culture.

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