Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Abundance mentality.

This is one of the biggest secrets to finding and keeping a good life partner. It not only boils down to what you do, but how you think.

Here's what happened.

Some time ago, in my 30's I spent nearly 2 years single. I used to wake up in the morning, leave my expensive house, get into my sports car and drive to my successful engineering business. After work, I went to the health club on my way home, exercised, played squash etc. Often women looked my way and were friendly towards me. Yet I never dated for months on end.

What's wrong with this picture?

I had left a painful relationship, where I had been rejected by my partner daily. So I believed, that no-one would ever love me again, because I was not worth it. This belief came true in my life.

I just didn't think that there was someone out there, interested in me. This of course made it right.

Was it because I was unattractive? Hardly, I had a good build, clear skin, was fit and healthy, and even though I didn't look like Richard Gere, I certainly wasn't ugly.

Was it because I was financially insecure? No, I owned a good business, drove a fancy car and lived in a big house with a view.

So there was nothing physically, causing my problem. It was all in my mind.

Hey, it gets worse. After some counseling and reading lots of books, I actually got to go and take some action to meet some new people. Then when I did find someone, guess how that worked out.

You see, deep down, I still had that limiting attitude, that I was really fortunate to get anyone at all that wanted to be with me. They sensed it like sharks smelling blood in the water. Describing it as that I partnered up with a predator, would have been an understatement.

The person I attracted, was a gold digger, having no scruples about sleeping with whoever she felt like. Was it her fault, yes BUT it was more my fault. I realized that I allowed it to happen in my mind first. I believed that this was the best I could achieve and had to accept that behavior to actually have anyone in my life at all.

Eventually the boundaries of even my twisted logic broke, when she came back after being with another man, drunk and tried to stab me with a kitchen knife.

How could I allow it to get that far? Easy, I didn't understand that I had choices. When I realized that even being alone again was better than my present situation, I did get out of that relationship.

Cutting a long story short, the whole issue was me having the wrong belief system.

It took some time, but eventually, I accepted that I was actually OK, and a lot of women could do far worse than to be in a relationship with me. I now also understood, that there were actually many thousands of potential partners for me.

As soon as I started believing this, it was as though some flood gates had opened. I kept running into potential partners at every turn, and I was off the singles scene very quickly.

All I did differently was that I had now accepted that there is actually a complete abundance in our universe. An abundance of suitable people. It was my choice, to accept or reject this fact. That made the difference. Now my physical actions could lead me to my true desires.

My external surroundings had not changed much, Physically I was the same (except getting a bit older, and not much wiser), but my life had turned 180 degrees. Because I allowed it to. I let my mind accept that anything is possible, and nothing could stand in the way of a strong enough belief.

But, only severe pain brought about this realization.

You can avoid the pain. Understand the above, you have many choices now. They will let you do things in more positive ways. Realize, that life will end up teaching you either way, let it be a pleasant instead of painful lesson.

In conclusion, imagine it, believe it, and see what happens.

Remember, keep on loving


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Monday, October 17, 2011

Are You Being Disrespected By Your Mate?

There is a trap that many of us fall into because for the most part girls are socialized to be sweet, accommodating, passive, well-mannered etc. When we grow up and get into relationships, many of us don't really know what to do in response to disrespect.

It's a little like we're frozen. Shocked. Disappointed. Now What? Well, there is a % of women who will not put up with any form of disrespect in their relationships. One incident and they bail. Probably a good idea.

But then there is the rest of us - who either get temporarily outraged or upset, but like a bitter pill - we swallow it and move on. This is NOT a good idea.

No matter how many partners you may meet in your lifetime, there should always be at least one requirement - that you are treated with respect from day one until the end.

Look for areas of respect when...

1. You are intimate. He should respect your likes and dislikes.

2.You are talking to each other. He shouldn't speak to you like an angry dad or like you're an idiot.

3. You are arguing. Even in the heat of battle, you shouldn't be disrespected. If it gets that heated - someone should walk away.

4. He is around your friends and family. If he doesn't treat your friends/family with respect, then he doesn't respect you. They are an extension of you.

5. You are ending it. Even if the relationship is over and there are hurt feelings - he should have enough respect for what you did share to end it or accept the end with class.

Quick Tip: You teach others the amount of respect they will pay you. Even your worst enemy will respect you if you demand it. Demand what you are worth everyday.

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Am I In Love? Signs That Will Tell You Are On The Right Track!

It is love that initiated the union between a man and a woman when they finally decided to get married. Before they went through this very important decision of their lives, everything seemed to be on a reverie, with all the goodness and the sweetness that any couple could experience.

When the couple gets married, it is that same love that would keep them together, their bond stronger than ever, and their life transformed from a reverie to pure realism.

The love that keeps two people together is now an issue. This is because some people no longer believe that love really exists on its through sense of the word because of the many divorce cases that the society is facing right now.

In the U.S. alone, nearly 12,326,369 of the female population and 9,032,100 of the males were said to be divorced from their partners. This is according to the 2000 marital statistical report of the Divorce Peers in Michigan.

With that fact, it goes to show that many people are inclined to get married without realizing the true sense of being in love.

Hence, reality goes back to the clear signs of love. The reason why many people fail in their relationships is based from the fact that they thought that they were in love but the truth is that they never were.

Therefore, for those who wish to put a clear distinction between love and infatuation, in which, other people thought they are the same, here is a list of the real signs of true love.

1. You suddenly become interested with the things that you used to detest.

A person can claim he is in love if he is able to accept that things the he used to look down on. This is when everything seems so positive and that there is nothing close that could ruin what you have for the person you love.

However, this does not happen on an instant. This has to go into a process wherein you still hate to do what you despise even if you are already in a relationship. But as soon as you learned to love, everything will change. Things will seem brighter and every challenge seems easy to bear.

2. You learn to value her

To accept and to give something of value are two different things. If you are really in love, it is easier for you to feel that you really value the person and not just because you wanted to stay and sacrifice everything for that person.

Love will always want to find time and ways how to make his or her partner happy. For a great lover, his or her priority is on how to make his or her partner happy, and that this must be above his or her personal feelings.

3. You are in love if you can, with eyes open wide, accept the person that you love no matter what or who he is.

To feel loved is enough guarantee that you are accepted because you are you and not because of anything else that concerns you.
If you are really in love with the person that you really like, you can act or perform freely without the feeling of being awkward with the situation.

4. You are in love if you understand the person that you care for the most.

To feel loved, you must also feel how you are being understood by men and how each love should be able to give you the free will to choose what is right or wrong.

You are in love if you are willing to accept whatever it is with the other person and not on what and who the person is. You will be able to consider his thoughts and feeling even if somehow you disagree with what he believes in. And if you are being loved in the true sense of the word, you know that he will do the same thing to you.

5. You are in love if you know that you really care lot for that very special person

True love serves as a guarantee that the person whom you love will stay true to you, no matter what. You are really in love if you know that you are willing to sacrifice you life just to save your partner.

You are in love if you know that in spite of your partner flaws and wrongdoings, you will never embarrass him in front of many people. Instead, you will talk to him seriously and ask him what went wrong.

Indeed, love can be too confusing for people who do not know what it really means. Others may regard infatuation or physical attraction as love already.

The point here is that in order to know that you are really in love is to love him beyond the physical attraction, lust, and attachment. These are the three stages of love. Hence, if you were able to surpass these stages, it really must be love.

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Apart from The Heart

Distance makes the heart grow fonder, which is especially true for Valentine Day. It is a wonderous thing to be with the one you love. And Saint Valentine was persecuted, endeavouring to maintain a pagan right of choice and the union of loving partnership.

There are innumerable factors why couples may find themselves alone on Valentine Day. Couples for example who are in a long distance relationship, an unscheduled business trip popping up, shift work -preventing couples from being together or an unexpected sickness, maybe a family emergency. These are just a few examples of reasons why couples may find themselves apart during Valentine Day.

While it's easy to understand the reasons why you and your partner cannot be together on Valentine Day, it does not make it any easier to accept, does it? Naturally it's not the be all and end all but you could find yourself feeling a little out of sorts and booting the dog - just joking Rover boy!

However, there is hope for those who are spending Valentine Day apart from their sole mates or loved ones. To be sure there are a few ways for making the day a lot more fun (some I won't cover). So, here splashed about are some ways to celebrate Valentine apart - using the most common situations of why partners are absent.

First up are couples who are in a long distance relationship. For these campers, they're probably already used to spending important days such as Valentine Day, anniversaries and other holidays apart, so not a problem really. Nevertheless, there are ways this couple can still spice up their celebration of Valentine Day together. Let see... both renting the same movie is a cute idea, with the mobile to hand they can "virtually speaking" watch the movie together. We won't talk about the phone bill here, can't be too cheap skate - anyway these days the special family tariffs give unlimited connections for peanuts so it's possible the couple can chat away on their cell phones ad infinitum, all the while they're watching the movie together. Also ordering in the same type of food, such as pizza or Chinese, may give the evening even more of a familiar spin - a feeling of togetherness for a little while.

Next let dip into the unfortunates who find them selves spending Valentine Day apart due to an unexpected business trip. Mmm?not great, particularly difficult since the couple is not used to being apart on important days and most likely don't have a great deal of time to prepare for spending the holiday apart. Discussion first and foremost about Valentine Day, really as soon as they realize they are going to be spending the holiday apart. Essentially deciding if and when to set a side a time to celebrate: before they separate or after they're back together, snug as a bug in a rug. Of course it's important for the couple to try to at least have some contact on Valentine Day even if it is over the phone, email or web cam. This at least may give a sense of being together; the idea is not to feel too distant or apart.

Having flowers or a special message delivered to your partner while you are separated are oldies but goodies and a great gesture of caring.

Concluding this small applet, there are those who cannot spend Valentine Day together because one or both of them have work which involves odd shifts. This could include doctors, fire-fighters, police officers or a variety of other professions. Individuals in this type of situation have to generally accommodate and adjusted to their odd schedule and make time to be together outside of working hours. In this case the best way to deal with being apart on Valentine Day is to plan on celebrating together when it is more convenient. This may not seem like the most romantic option but sometimes it is important to remember that you love your partner every day of the year and you don have to be together on Valentine Day to prove your love for each other.

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5 Irresistible Ways To Make Women Fall For You

"I don't get it!..."

"I've a nice car. I'm accomplished. My A-List CV make the next guy look funky. I even wear the latest Armani! Why doesn't she flip for me? Why am I always alone??"


How many times did you pound the dashboard of your Corvette bewailing this persistent question?

The avenue to Romance is littered with roadkill hearts and unrequited love.If you think you're unique in your loneliness, think again. There is enough dashboard pounding out there to start a global orchestra of dire distress.

But don't despair. Before you spin out of control, deploy the airbags fast. These strategic maneuvers should cruise you back on track:

1) Dress to Kill - all the time: No I don't intend that you wear $5000 suits to the grocers or the Rolex to walk the dog. What I want you to do is is to dress decently each time you hit the streets. Dab on some cologne. Be neatly shaven. Gentlemen, women are everywhere. If you dress with flash only at the bar or the party, you're missing out on 95% of eligible women. Some of the best relationships were forged during chance encounters at the bus stop.

2) Bedroom Eyes - When exploring new relationships with that sexy stranger, intensify the eye contact. Lock deep into her pupils. Let the rest of the world disappear even as a horde of supermodels troop by. You will naturally thrill her with the attention as she experiences the tendrils of growing attraction. Ethnologists have a term for it, the copulatory gaze. Get your eyes even sexier by enlargening your pupils; Dr. Hess concluded that dilated pupils are far far more attractive to women. How does one get the pupils popping? Simply gaze at the most alluring parts of a woman's face and fill your mind with loving caring thoughts. Your pupils naturally grow, endowing you with irresistible eyes.

3) Visual Caress - Get your eyes to do some facial travelling as you chat. Linger a bit on the nose, traipse across those lashes and rest upon the lips. Drink in her facial features as though you were admiring the Mona Lisa. She will delight in the attention!

4) Easter Eggs - Stumped at having nothing to say? Listen carefully for easter eggs as you talk. These are unusual words or phrases that she utters. Ask her to expound on it. Say "What's the story behind that?" or "How do you feel about that?". Women love to be probed for their opinions and their feelings.Gently bring out her emotions with sensitive open-ended questions.

5) Keep it Adrenaline Charged - Men talk facts: stock figures, bill payments, and boring engine specs. Women are different. They delight in FEELINGS TALK: how the new dress takes them to 7th heaven, how that special meal got them all giddy with ecstasy, how their shopping expedition drains their deepest problems away. Leverage this by steering away from facts talk. Pick out emotionally charged subjects and ask her how she especially relates to them. You'll be her new confidant!

I know what you're thinking. It's all common sense! That's true, but ask yourself this: how many of you actually practice this? Be honest.

Get out there and be the man women loves. Use your common sense!

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Are Your Relationships Codependent?

One of the greatest benefits of having close friendships is that our friends can support and help us when things get rough in our lives.

In exchange for the support our friends give us during a crisis, most of us also help our friends when they need it.

In a relationship between two emotionally healthy adults, the roles of giving and receiving help are balanced. Both people offer help and receive help from each other in approximately equal amounts.

However, there are some people who always take on the role of being the helper, no matter what relationship they are in.

These people have friendships that focus exclusively on trying to solve the problems of their friends. We sometimes call this quality o-dependency? and we may label people who are obsessed with helping others o-dependent?

A person who is co-dependent will tend to have relationships with people who have a lot of problems ?emotional, social, familial and financial. The co-dependent person may spend much of their own time, money, and energy helping other people who have problems, while ignoring the problems in their own life.

Why would somebody be co-dependent?

A person who is co-dependent often suffers from a deep sense of worthlessness and anxiety, and tries to derive a sense of self-worth by helping or rescuing others. A person who is co-dependent may not know how to relax and feel comfortable in a friendship where both people are equals and the relationship is based on enjoying each other company.

Co-dependent people may even feel anxious if someone they have been helping gets their life in order and no longer wants their help. The co-dependent person may immediately look around for someone else they can ave?

If you frequently take on the role of helping the people who are your friends, how can you tell if you are acting out of genuine kindness and concern, or whether your behavior is in fact co-dependency? There aren really any hard and fast lines between the two.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself to see whether your elping?behavior may actually be co-dependency:

- Do you have a hard time saying no to others, even when you are very busy, financially broke, or completely exhausted?

- Are you always sacrificing your own needs for everyone else?

- Do you feel more worthy as a human being because you have taken on a helping role?

- If you stopped helping your friends, would you feel guilty or worthless?

- Would you know how to be in a friendship that doesn revolve around you being the elper?

- If your friends eventually didn need your help, would you still be friends with them? Or would you look around for someone else to help?

- Do you feel resentful when others are not grateful enough to you for your efforts at rescuing them or fixing their lives?

- Do you sometimes feel like more of a social worker than a friend in your relationships?

- Do you feel uncomfortable receiving help from other people? Is the role of helping others a much more natural role for you to play in your relationships?

- Does it seem as if many of your friends have particularly chaotic lives, with one crisis after another?

- Did you grow up in a family that had a lot of emotional chaos or addiction problems?

- Are many of your friends addicts, or do they have serious emotional and social problems?

- As you were growing up, did you think it was up to you to keep the family functioning?

- As an adult, is it important for you to be thought of as the ependable one?

If you answered es?to a lot of these questions, you may indeed have a problem with co-dependency.

This does not mean that you are a flawed person.

It means that you are spending a lot of energy on other people and very little on yourself.

If it seems that a lot of your friendships are based on co-dependent rescuing behaviors, rather than on mutual liking and respect between equals, you may wish to step back and rethink your role in relationships.

If you suspect that your helping behavior is a form of co-dependency, a good therapist or counselor can help you gain perspective on your actions and learn a more balanced way of relating to others.

There are many excellent books available on the subject of co-dependency. Support groups such as Al-Anon can also help.

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7 Warning Signs That She is Not Interested in You Anymore

dating, online dating, seduction, love, romance, relationshis, marriage, foreign brides

Article Body:

To break up a relationship is a harder decision

when we talk about a long term one.

In most cases when woman is no longer interested

in a relationship she doesn't want to be the one

to end it. But even when she is already made the

decision to break it up, she will take some time

to give you some signs to prepare you, before she

tells you.

If you feel that something is going wrong it is

time to take a closer look at your relationship.

Here are seven warning signs she is no longer


1. This is probably the most classic subtle

signal of all: her life become too hectic. She

hasn't picked up the phone for a few days and

when she does, she is busy and pretending that

she doesn't have time to met you. This isn't

necessarily a sign that it is over, but if you

are used to meet her frequently then there is

something wrong.

2. Eventually, when she decided to spend some

time with you she keeps looking around to find

something to do or someone else to talk to.

However, when a woman is interested, she puts in

the effort by giving you her full attention.

3. She's secretive and no longer wants to tell

you where she has been or who was on the phone.

4. Don't forget that women love to talk. If she

doesn't ask you questions and shows no interest

in what you have to say and when you ask her

questions she limits her answers to "yes" and "no"

she has a problem. Can it be the relationship

with you?

5. Is she causing arguments over stupid little

things? If nothing you do or say isn't right

anymore and all that goes wrong is your fault you

can start to worry.

6. She refuses the presents you make. Women love

to get presents, so if she turns yours down, she

can feel guilty because she is thinking to break

up with you, especially if you know she was about

to buy that thing for herself.

7. She talks about divorce or break up of other

people relationship, as a positive thing. Maybe a

friend of her just has braked up with her

boyfriend and now she is doing much better.

In the game of romance, few things are black and

white. Most of the points above are assumptions

based on commonly used techniques. There is room

for interpretations and misunderstandings but all

this can make you wonder if everything is ok and

discuss the problems you might have.

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