Abundance mentality.

This is one of the biggest secrets to finding and keeping a good life partner. It not only boils down to what you do, but how you think.

Here's what happened.

Some time ago, in my 30's I spent nearly 2 years single. I used to wake up in the morning, leave my expensive house, get into my sports car and drive to my successful engineering business. After work, I went to the health club on my way home, exercised, played squash etc. Often women looked my way and were friendly towards me. Yet I never dated for months on end.

What's wrong with this picture?

I had left a painful relationship, where I had been rejected by my partner daily. So I believed, that no-one would ever love me again, because I was not worth it. This belief came true in my life.

I just didn't think that there was someone out there, interested in me. This of course made it right.

Was it because I was unattractive? Hardly, I had a good build, clear skin, was fit and healthy, and even though I didn't look like Richard Gere, I certainly wasn't ugly.

Was it because I was financially insecure? No, I owned a good business, drove a fancy car and lived in a big house with a view.

So there was nothing physically, causing my problem. It was all in my mind.

Hey, it gets worse. After some counseling and reading lots of books, I actually got to go and take some action to meet some new people. Then when I did find someone, guess how that worked out.

You see, deep down, I still had that limiting attitude, that I was really fortunate to get anyone at all that wanted to be with me. They sensed it like sharks smelling blood in the water. Describing it as that I partnered up with a predator, would have been an understatement.

The person I attracted, was a gold digger, having no scruples about sleeping with whoever she felt like. Was it her fault, yes BUT it was more my fault. I realized that I allowed it to happen in my mind first. I believed that this was the best I could achieve and had to accept that behavior to actually have anyone in my life at all.

Eventually the boundaries of even my twisted logic broke, when she came back after being with another man, drunk and tried to stab me with a kitchen knife.

How could I allow it to get that far? Easy, I didn't understand that I had choices. When I realized that even being alone again was better than my present situation, I did get out of that relationship.

Cutting a long story short, the whole issue was me having the wrong belief system.

It took some time, but eventually, I accepted that I was actually OK, and a lot of women could do far worse than to be in a relationship with me. I now also understood, that there were actually many thousands of potential partners for me.

As soon as I started believing this, it was as though some flood gates had opened. I kept running into potential partners at every turn, and I was off the singles scene very quickly.

All I did differently was that I had now accepted that there is actually a complete abundance in our universe. An abundance of suitable people. It was my choice, to accept or reject this fact. That made the difference. Now my physical actions could lead me to my true desires.

My external surroundings had not changed much, Physically I was the same (except getting a bit older, and not much wiser), but my life had turned 180 degrees. Because I allowed it to. I let my mind accept that anything is possible, and nothing could stand in the way of a strong enough belief.

But, only severe pain brought about this realization.

You can avoid the pain. Understand the above, you have many choices now. They will let you do things in more positive ways. Realize, that life will end up teaching you either way, let it be a pleasant instead of painful lesson.

In conclusion, imagine it, believe it, and see what happens.

Remember, keep on loving

Udo

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Are You Being Disrespected By Your Mate?

There is a trap that many of us fall into because for the most part girls are socialized to be sweet, accommodating, passive, well-mannered etc. When we grow up and get into relationships, many of us don't really know what to do in response to disrespect.

It's a little like we're frozen. Shocked. Disappointed. Now What? Well, there is a % of women who will not put up with any form of disrespect in their relationships. One incident and they bail. Probably a good idea.

But then there is the rest of us - who either get temporarily outraged or upset, but like a bitter pill - we swallow it and move on. This is NOT a good idea.

No matter how many partners you may meet in your lifetime, there should always be at least one requirement - that you are treated with respect from day one until the end.

Look for areas of respect when...

1. You are intimate. He should respect your likes and dislikes.

2.You are talking to each other. He shouldn't speak to you like an angry dad or like you're an idiot.

3. You are arguing. Even in the heat of battle, you shouldn't be disrespected. If it gets that heated - someone should walk away.

4. He is around your friends and family. If he doesn't treat your friends/family with respect, then he doesn't respect you. They are an extension of you.

5. You are ending it. Even if the relationship is over and there are hurt feelings - he should have enough respect for what you did share to end it or accept the end with class.

Quick Tip: You teach others the amount of respect they will pay you. Even your worst enemy will respect you if you demand it. Demand what you are worth everyday.

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Am I In Love? Signs That Will Tell You Are On The Right Track!

It is love that initiated the union between a man and a woman when they finally decided to get married. Before they went through this very important decision of their lives, everything seemed to be on a reverie, with all the goodness and the sweetness that any couple could experience.

When the couple gets married, it is that same love that would keep them together, their bond stronger than ever, and their life transformed from a reverie to pure realism.

The love that keeps two people together is now an issue. This is because some people no longer believe that love really exists on its through sense of the word because of the many divorce cases that the society is facing right now.

In the U.S. alone, nearly 12,326,369 of the female population and 9,032,100 of the males were said to be divorced from their partners. This is according to the 2000 marital statistical report of the Divorce Peers in Michigan.

With that fact, it goes to show that many people are inclined to get married without realizing the true sense of being in love.

Hence, reality goes back to the clear signs of love. The reason why many people fail in their relationships is based from the fact that they thought that they were in love but the truth is that they never were.

Therefore, for those who wish to put a clear distinction between love and infatuation, in which, other people thought they are the same, here is a list of the real signs of true love.

1. You suddenly become interested with the things that you used to detest.

A person can claim he is in love if he is able to accept that things the he used to look down on. This is when everything seems so positive and that there is nothing close that could ruin what you have for the person you love.

However, this does not happen on an instant. This has to go into a process wherein you still hate to do what you despise even if you are already in a relationship. But as soon as you learned to love, everything will change. Things will seem brighter and every challenge seems easy to bear.

2. You learn to value her

To accept and to give something of value are two different things. If you are really in love, it is easier for you to feel that you really value the person and not just because you wanted to stay and sacrifice everything for that person.

Love will always want to find time and ways how to make his or her partner happy. For a great lover, his or her priority is on how to make his or her partner happy, and that this must be above his or her personal feelings.

3. You are in love if you can, with eyes open wide, accept the person that you love no matter what or who he is.

To feel loved is enough guarantee that you are accepted because you are you and not because of anything else that concerns you.
If you are really in love with the person that you really like, you can act or perform freely without the feeling of being awkward with the situation.

4. You are in love if you understand the person that you care for the most.

To feel loved, you must also feel how you are being understood by men and how each love should be able to give you the free will to choose what is right or wrong.

You are in love if you are willing to accept whatever it is with the other person and not on what and who the person is. You will be able to consider his thoughts and feeling even if somehow you disagree with what he believes in. And if you are being loved in the true sense of the word, you know that he will do the same thing to you.

5. You are in love if you know that you really care lot for that very special person

True love serves as a guarantee that the person whom you love will stay true to you, no matter what. You are really in love if you know that you are willing to sacrifice you life just to save your partner.

You are in love if you know that in spite of your partner flaws and wrongdoings, you will never embarrass him in front of many people. Instead, you will talk to him seriously and ask him what went wrong.

Indeed, love can be too confusing for people who do not know what it really means. Others may regard infatuation or physical attraction as love already.

The point here is that in order to know that you are really in love is to love him beyond the physical attraction, lust, and attachment. These are the three stages of love. Hence, if you were able to surpass these stages, it really must be love.

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Apart from The Heart

Distance makes the heart grow fonder, which is especially true for Valentine Day. It is a wonderous thing to be with the one you love. And Saint Valentine was persecuted, endeavouring to maintain a pagan right of choice and the union of loving partnership.

There are innumerable factors why couples may find themselves alone on Valentine Day. Couples for example who are in a long distance relationship, an unscheduled business trip popping up, shift work -preventing couples from being together or an unexpected sickness, maybe a family emergency. These are just a few examples of reasons why couples may find themselves apart during Valentine Day.

While it's easy to understand the reasons why you and your partner cannot be together on Valentine Day, it does not make it any easier to accept, does it? Naturally it's not the be all and end all but you could find yourself feeling a little out of sorts and booting the dog - just joking Rover boy!

However, there is hope for those who are spending Valentine Day apart from their sole mates or loved ones. To be sure there are a few ways for making the day a lot more fun (some I won't cover). So, here splashed about are some ways to celebrate Valentine apart - using the most common situations of why partners are absent.

First up are couples who are in a long distance relationship. For these campers, they're probably already used to spending important days such as Valentine Day, anniversaries and other holidays apart, so not a problem really. Nevertheless, there are ways this couple can still spice up their celebration of Valentine Day together. Let see... both renting the same movie is a cute idea, with the mobile to hand they can "virtually speaking" watch the movie together. We won't talk about the phone bill here, can't be too cheap skate - anyway these days the special family tariffs give unlimited connections for peanuts so it's possible the couple can chat away on their cell phones ad infinitum, all the while they're watching the movie together. Also ordering in the same type of food, such as pizza or Chinese, may give the evening even more of a familiar spin - a feeling of togetherness for a little while.

Next let dip into the unfortunates who find them selves spending Valentine Day apart due to an unexpected business trip. Mmm?not great, particularly difficult since the couple is not used to being apart on important days and most likely don't have a great deal of time to prepare for spending the holiday apart. Discussion first and foremost about Valentine Day, really as soon as they realize they are going to be spending the holiday apart. Essentially deciding if and when to set a side a time to celebrate: before they separate or after they're back together, snug as a bug in a rug. Of course it's important for the couple to try to at least have some contact on Valentine Day even if it is over the phone, email or web cam. This at least may give a sense of being together; the idea is not to feel too distant or apart.

Having flowers or a special message delivered to your partner while you are separated are oldies but goodies and a great gesture of caring.

Concluding this small applet, there are those who cannot spend Valentine Day together because one or both of them have work which involves odd shifts. This could include doctors, fire-fighters, police officers or a variety of other professions. Individuals in this type of situation have to generally accommodate and adjusted to their odd schedule and make time to be together outside of working hours. In this case the best way to deal with being apart on Valentine Day is to plan on celebrating together when it is more convenient. This may not seem like the most romantic option but sometimes it is important to remember that you love your partner every day of the year and you don have to be together on Valentine Day to prove your love for each other.

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5 Irresistible Ways To Make Women Fall For You

"I don't get it!..."

"I've a nice car. I'm accomplished. My A-List CV make the next guy look funky. I even wear the latest Armani! Why doesn't she flip for me? Why am I always alone??"

STOP!

How many times did you pound the dashboard of your Corvette bewailing this persistent question?

The avenue to Romance is littered with roadkill hearts and unrequited love.If you think you're unique in your loneliness, think again. There is enough dashboard pounding out there to start a global orchestra of dire distress.

But don't despair. Before you spin out of control, deploy the airbags fast. These strategic maneuvers should cruise you back on track:

1) Dress to Kill - all the time: No I don't intend that you wear $5000 suits to the grocers or the Rolex to walk the dog. What I want you to do is is to dress decently each time you hit the streets. Dab on some cologne. Be neatly shaven. Gentlemen, women are everywhere. If you dress with flash only at the bar or the party, you're missing out on 95% of eligible women. Some of the best relationships were forged during chance encounters at the bus stop.

2) Bedroom Eyes - When exploring new relationships with that sexy stranger, intensify the eye contact. Lock deep into her pupils. Let the rest of the world disappear even as a horde of supermodels troop by. You will naturally thrill her with the attention as she experiences the tendrils of growing attraction. Ethnologists have a term for it, the copulatory gaze. Get your eyes even sexier by enlargening your pupils; Dr. Hess concluded that dilated pupils are far far more attractive to women. How does one get the pupils popping? Simply gaze at the most alluring parts of a woman's face and fill your mind with loving caring thoughts. Your pupils naturally grow, endowing you with irresistible eyes.

3) Visual Caress - Get your eyes to do some facial travelling as you chat. Linger a bit on the nose, traipse across those lashes and rest upon the lips. Drink in her facial features as though you were admiring the Mona Lisa. She will delight in the attention!

4) Easter Eggs - Stumped at having nothing to say? Listen carefully for easter eggs as you talk. These are unusual words or phrases that she utters. Ask her to expound on it. Say "What's the story behind that?" or "How do you feel about that?". Women love to be probed for their opinions and their feelings.Gently bring out her emotions with sensitive open-ended questions.

5) Keep it Adrenaline Charged - Men talk facts: stock figures, bill payments, and boring engine specs. Women are different. They delight in FEELINGS TALK: how the new dress takes them to 7th heaven, how that special meal got them all giddy with ecstasy, how their shopping expedition drains their deepest problems away. Leverage this by steering away from facts talk. Pick out emotionally charged subjects and ask her how she especially relates to them. You'll be her new confidant!

I know what you're thinking. It's all common sense! That's true, but ask yourself this: how many of you actually practice this? Be honest.

Get out there and be the man women loves. Use your common sense!

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Are Your Relationships Codependent?

One of the greatest benefits of having close friendships is that our friends can support and help us when things get rough in our lives.

In exchange for the support our friends give us during a crisis, most of us also help our friends when they need it.

In a relationship between two emotionally healthy adults, the roles of giving and receiving help are balanced. Both people offer help and receive help from each other in approximately equal amounts.

However, there are some people who always take on the role of being the helper, no matter what relationship they are in.

These people have friendships that focus exclusively on trying to solve the problems of their friends. We sometimes call this quality o-dependency? and we may label people who are obsessed with helping others o-dependent?

A person who is co-dependent will tend to have relationships with people who have a lot of problems ?emotional, social, familial and financial. The co-dependent person may spend much of their own time, money, and energy helping other people who have problems, while ignoring the problems in their own life.

Why would somebody be co-dependent?

A person who is co-dependent often suffers from a deep sense of worthlessness and anxiety, and tries to derive a sense of self-worth by helping or rescuing others. A person who is co-dependent may not know how to relax and feel comfortable in a friendship where both people are equals and the relationship is based on enjoying each other company.

Co-dependent people may even feel anxious if someone they have been helping gets their life in order and no longer wants their help. The co-dependent person may immediately look around for someone else they can ave?

If you frequently take on the role of helping the people who are your friends, how can you tell if you are acting out of genuine kindness and concern, or whether your behavior is in fact co-dependency? There aren really any hard and fast lines between the two.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself to see whether your elping?behavior may actually be co-dependency:


- Do you have a hard time saying no to others, even when you are very busy, financially broke, or completely exhausted?

- Are you always sacrificing your own needs for everyone else?

- Do you feel more worthy as a human being because you have taken on a helping role?

- If you stopped helping your friends, would you feel guilty or worthless?

- Would you know how to be in a friendship that doesn revolve around you being the elper?

- If your friends eventually didn need your help, would you still be friends with them? Or would you look around for someone else to help?

- Do you feel resentful when others are not grateful enough to you for your efforts at rescuing them or fixing their lives?

- Do you sometimes feel like more of a social worker than a friend in your relationships?

- Do you feel uncomfortable receiving help from other people? Is the role of helping others a much more natural role for you to play in your relationships?

- Does it seem as if many of your friends have particularly chaotic lives, with one crisis after another?

- Did you grow up in a family that had a lot of emotional chaos or addiction problems?

- Are many of your friends addicts, or do they have serious emotional and social problems?

- As you were growing up, did you think it was up to you to keep the family functioning?

- As an adult, is it important for you to be thought of as the ependable one?

If you answered es?to a lot of these questions, you may indeed have a problem with co-dependency.

This does not mean that you are a flawed person.

It means that you are spending a lot of energy on other people and very little on yourself.

If it seems that a lot of your friendships are based on co-dependent rescuing behaviors, rather than on mutual liking and respect between equals, you may wish to step back and rethink your role in relationships.

If you suspect that your helping behavior is a form of co-dependency, a good therapist or counselor can help you gain perspective on your actions and learn a more balanced way of relating to others.

There are many excellent books available on the subject of co-dependency. Support groups such as Al-Anon can also help.

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7 Warning Signs That She is Not Interested in You Anymore

dating, online dating, seduction, love, romance, relationshis, marriage, foreign brides

Article Body:

To break up a relationship is a harder decision

when we talk about a long term one.

In most cases when woman is no longer interested

in a relationship she doesn't want to be the one

to end it. But even when she is already made the

decision to break it up, she will take some time

to give you some signs to prepare you, before she

tells you.

If you feel that something is going wrong it is

time to take a closer look at your relationship.

Here are seven warning signs she is no longer

interested:

1. This is probably the most classic subtle

signal of all: her life become too hectic. She

hasn't picked up the phone for a few days and

when she does, she is busy and pretending that

she doesn't have time to met you. This isn't

necessarily a sign that it is over, but if you

are used to meet her frequently then there is

something wrong.

2. Eventually, when she decided to spend some

time with you she keeps looking around to find

something to do or someone else to talk to.

However, when a woman is interested, she puts in

the effort by giving you her full attention.

3. She's secretive and no longer wants to tell

you where she has been or who was on the phone.

4. Don't forget that women love to talk. If she

doesn't ask you questions and shows no interest

in what you have to say and when you ask her

questions she limits her answers to "yes" and "no"

she has a problem. Can it be the relationship

with you?

5. Is she causing arguments over stupid little

things? If nothing you do or say isn't right

anymore and all that goes wrong is your fault you

can start to worry.

6. She refuses the presents you make. Women love

to get presents, so if she turns yours down, she

can feel guilty because she is thinking to break

up with you, especially if you know she was about

to buy that thing for herself.

7. She talks about divorce or break up of other

people relationship, as a positive thing. Maybe a

friend of her just has braked up with her

boyfriend and now she is doing much better.

In the game of romance, few things are black and

white. Most of the points above are assumptions

based on commonly used techniques. There is room

for interpretations and misunderstandings but all

this can make you wonder if everything is ok and

discuss the problems you might have.

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5 Secret Ways to Show Your Love to Your Partner

There are many ways to express love to your partner other than quoting the actual words "I Love You." Usually the fire in relationships dies down after a while and the feeling of your heart pounding with the excitement of being with your significant other is not felt nearly as often, or even at all.

So, how do we get back that love, passion and warm feeling that wraps around us and penetrate our thoughts in the beginning of a relationship?

Many say actions speak louder than words so below I have listed 5 secrets of seduction to help you show your partner how much you truly love them:

1. Flirt

This is a light-hearted seduction with the intent of conveying love! Why not send a sexy text message or email while you are at work? This reminds the other person that you are thinking about him or her. It also increases the intensity of love so that you actually look forward to seeing each other when you return home from work.

2. Candles

According to Feng Shui, the seduction candle is red and the ingredients are musk, patchouli, pine, cedar and juniper. This secret of seduction can put back the romance in your relationships. Why not fill your room with scented candles and turn off the lights just to relax in each others arms? The extra effort goes a very long way!

3. Food

It is said that "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach," however this is also thought to be the secret of successful seduction of women too. Show your love by setting up a surprise dinner for two. Add flowers, soft music and incense to create a seductive love nest. Aphrodisiac foods such as oysters, chili, chocolate, figs, honey and walnuts are said to aid in the stimulation of your loved ones hormones.

4. Love Letters and Poems

Why not leave a love note for your loved one? This can be posted in the bathroom or kitchen before you leave to work. You could also leave a nice love poem under the pillow so that your partner finds this at night before bedtime or first thing in the morning. Or send a hand written love letter to their work address. This will stir up the feeling of love in the privacy of your bedroom as well as in your relationship. Inspiration can be taken from music or love poem books.

5. Get Away

There can be a lot of distractions in your relationship such as work or children. There are many short vacations available for the weekend or just for a day. You may arrange a trip to the Health Spa or a Hotel so that you are in a different environment than usual where you can both relax and concentrate on each other.

Using the five techniques above to show your significant other just how much you truly love them will certainly spice up your love life, strengthen your relationship, and keep you and your partner happy for years to come!

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7 Clues That Your Partner Is Cheating On You

Keywords:

dating, online dating, flirt, seduction, relationships, love, romance, marriage, foreign brides, single parents

Article Body:

Cheating is the worst form of destruction to your

relationship or marriage; it is already

considered a betrayal of the vows they took when

they got married. The discovery of the act of

cheating by the other half can either break the

marriage or make it stronger depending on the

strength of their love for one another.

Cheating generally means that you are not fully

satisfied with your current partner or you feel

that something is missing in the relationship. If

you were completely in love and happy within your

relationship, why it might happen that your

partner have an affair?

Trust is a big reason, not of your partner, but

yourself. Probably for some time you have sensed

something is different or questioned the change

of behavior in your partner.

Nobody deserves to be cheated on, no matter what

state your marriage is in and if you believe your

partner is having an affair now is the time to

check it out and do a little investigation just

to be sure.

Start by looking for the obvious things such as a

change in the way your partner dresses, a sudden

desire to look good, a change in work patterns,

an unusual interest in the gym, secrecy over

phone calls or emails, a loss of intimacy in your

marriage, lack of sexual interest or distance

between you that never used to exist. In the

worst case you may spy her.

A cheating wife can cause much emotional trauma,

not to mention the harm it could cause a family.

Here are some important clues that might help you

to find out if your partner is having an affair.

1.Changes in appearance and attitude. She has a

sudden preoccupation with her appearance. She is

more interested on how she dresses; go often to a

hair salon and even to gym, even if this wasn't

her main priority before.

2.Lessened intimacy. If in the past you used to

share everything with your wife and then suddenly

she seems distanced and clams up when you try to

discuss intimate things, it could mean that she

has already distanced herself emotionally and

mentally from you. She is suddenly frigid and

loses any interest in doing anything with her

husband.

3.She's being secretive. She's no longer sharing

her daily events with you. She might avoid you

because she feels guilty. Don't get paranoid and

suspicious, ask her if everything is ok and tell

her she's been acting differently lately.

4.Disinterest in family. If your wife is no

longer excited to meet you at the door from work

there must be a problem here. Or when your

partner feels the sudden need to go out try to

find a reason to accompany her. If she comes up

with a reason that she had to go on her own push

the issue, not too much but just enough to see if

she becomes more uncomfortable.

5.Less arguing and fighting. She used to get

angry if you didn't want to come out with her and

her friends, but now everything you do is all

right by her. Once upon a time, your every move

had to be premeditated, but now all the small

things you used to mess up aren't enraging her.

This could be a good thing, but you wonder why

she no longer cares.

6.More phone and internet. In the last time she

speaks a lot at the telephone using a low voice

or whisper on the phone and hangs up quickly.

Maybe she set up a new e-mail account and doesn't

tell you about it. Watch out because she might

buy a cell phone and doesn't let you know. Ask

her if she is being true with you and if she

becomes accusatory then it is obvious that she is

cheating you.

7.She's always late. In the past she never came

home late but now this happens more and more. Her

explanation is that she had to stay more at the

office because she has a lot of work to do. Or

she goes to the store and comes home four hours

later. This is really a reason to worry.

Cheating spouses often look and act guilty, give

a general feeling that something isn right.

They try and avoid meaningful conversations, keep

everything at a general and non intimate level.

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5 Relationship Killers and How to Avoid Them

As a relationship counselor, I am constantly being asked why so many relationships fail. In the 37 years that I have worked with couples, I have discovered five major relationship killers:

CONTROLLING BEHAVIOR

Most people enter a relationship with a deep fear of rejection, and this fear motivates various forms of controlling behavior. Controlling behavior falls into two major categories ?overt control and covert control.

Overt control includes many forms of attack, such as blaming anger, rage, violence, judgment, criticism and ridicule.

Covert control includes compliance, enabling, withdrawal, defending, explaining, lying and denying. Often a person at the other end of attack will respond with some form of covert control in an attempt to have control over not being attacked.

Controlling behavior always results in resentment and emotional distance, bringing about the very rejection that it is meant to avoid.

RESISTANCE

Many people enter a relationship with a deep fear of being engulfed and controlled ?of losing themselves. The moment they experience their partner wanting control over them, they respond with resistance ?withdrawal, unconsciousness, numbness, forgetfulness, and procrastination.

When one partner is controlling and the other is resistant ?which is really an attempt to have control over not being controlled - the relationship becomes immobilized. Partners in this relationship system feel frustrated, stagnant, and resentful.

NEEDINESS

Many people enter a relationship believing that it is their partner job to fill their emptiness, take away their aloneness, and make them feel good about themselves. When people have not learned how to take responsibility for their own feelings and needs, and to define their own self-worth, they may pull on their partner and others to fill them with the love they need.

SUBSTANCE AND PROCESS ADDICTIONS

Most people who feel empty inside turn to substance and process addictions in an attempt to fill their emptiness and take away the pain of their aloneness and loneliness. Alcohol and drug abuse, food, spending, gambling, busyness, Internet sex and pornography, affairs, work, TV, accumulating things, beautifying, and so on, can all be used as ways to fill emptiness and avoid fears of failure, inadequacy, rejection and engulfment. And they are all ways of shutting out your partner.

EYES ON PARTNER'S PLATE

Many people are acutely aware of what their partner is doing that is causing relationship problems, but completely unaware of what they are doing. For example, you might be very aware of your partner resistance or withdrawal, but totally unaware of your own judgmental behavior. You might be very aware of your partner anger, but completely unaware of your own compliance. You might be very aware of your partner addictive behavior, but very unaware of your own enabling. As long as your eyes are on your partner instead of on yourself, you will continue to believe that if only your partner changed, everything would be okay.

RESOLVING RELATIONSHIP KILLERS

All relationship killers come from fear ?of inadequacy, of failure, of rejection and of engulfment. As long as you are coming from any of these fears, you will be behaving in one or more of the above ways.

The way out is to develop a loving adult self who knows how to take full responsibility for your own feelings and needs. You will move beyond controlling, needy and addictive behavior only when you learn how to fill your self with love and define your own inner worth. When you are willing to take your eyes off your partner plate and turn your eyes fully on yourself, you can begin to do the inner healing work necessary to heal yourself and your relationship.

A good place to start is to download our free Inner Bonding course and begin to practice the Six Steps of Inner Bonding. The daily practice of these steps will move you out of your addictive and controlling behavior and into the personal responsibility necessary to heal your relationship.

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Are You Attracted To The Wrong Sort Of Man?

How often have you said to a your friends,  always seem to pick guys who are bad for me.?
According to Hypnotherapy specialist Roderick Piggott, women who experience a series of broken and unequal relationships, are often suffering from issues of low self-esteem and poor self-image. This causes them to choose the wrong partners again and again.

Low self-esteem can really impact negatively on a persons quality of life, making them feel that they don deserve love and respect and are not fit to enjoy a proper, fulfilling relationship. Motivation levels can sink, leaving them feeling low and robbing them of any enthusiasm.

If you suffer from low self-esteem, you blame yourself for things that aren't your fault; you underestimate your abilities, and you expect things to go wrong for you. Often, low self-esteem is associated with a range of other problems, such as lack of confidence, depression, anxiety, stress and jealousy. If you feel that your opinions and thoughts are worthless, you will find yourself unable to connect or communicate effectively with others, which can become a real issue. This can be picked up by partners, leading to a shift in the balance of a relationship, turning it into something that is unequal and disadvantageous to the weaker partner. Frequently this leads to an abusive relationship and often the cycle is repeated many times.

It simply may not be the rong?man that you choose, it is very probable that a partner will become frustrated and lose respect. Attitudes then change taking the relationship off course.

There are many things that might happen in life that can cause low self-esteem. It could be a traumatic childhood, maybe a respected figure in your life belittled you, perhaps failure at a career or at school, or even a lack of social life or friends. Whatever the causes, it is important to try and get your life back on track and get over these feelings of worthlessness for the sake of yourself and those around you. These negative emotions can reflect in everything you do and say, and can start to affect your whole life.

Women who realize that they need self-esteem help are often too embarrassed to admit to anyone that they have a problem, however many sufferers of low self-esteem are benefiting from hypnotherapy treatments at home, which can literally change peoples lives for the better.

Even though you may want to change the way you feel, to be confident in your thoughts and ideas, to have a sense of faith in your own abilities and know consciously that you are worthwhile and respected, your emotional subconscious mind knows different. Your mind goes back to your deepest insecurities, together with the emotions that are held alongside those memories. Your beliefs are accessed. Your conscious and subconscious mind is in conflict. The subconscious mind wins, every time because your emotions rule. You can change your beliefs by changing your emotions. Hypnosis can do this. And it is easy.

Hypnotherapy treatments work in a very natural way, People are constantly capable of change, which can happen more powerfully in an altered state. In this altered state, which we call hypnosis, suggestions to the sub-conscious mind can supply us with the feelings and emotions that go with imagination and creativity to bring about changes within your feeling system, your emotional system, and this can change your values, perceptions and beliefs. It what makes hypnosis an incredibly powerful means to achieve your dreams.

Your subconscious mind has the power to end your struggle with your low self-esteem. Your life will improve if you begin to believe in yourself and your abilities, you will feel respected, giving you that extra boost to increase motivation, and your enthusiasm will increase noticeably. Some people say it feels like magic because it is so easy to make powerful changes. Hypnotherapy simply allows you to access the resources you already have in your subconscious mind.

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Addicted to the Drama

There are presently 6 billion people living on planet Earth. World Peace is the ideal that all 6 billion of them will learn to live in peace and harmony together, united in holy matrimony, until death by natural causes do them part. Lets start off small. Lets see if we can get two people to live together in peace.

Samuel Twain is a 54 year old Yale Graduate, former law professor, District Attorney, defense counsel, turned extremely powerful and successful philanthropist and land developer. Obviously we are not talking chopped liver here. We are talking Midas, in his professional life, and Murphy, in his personal life- the only law he has known is Murphy Law- or so he thinks- way too much. Sam is currently married to Jane, a stunningly attractive woman, popular, brilliant, composed, a ballet, tennis, golf, community involvement enthusiast, on the outside, the perfect woman. Sam and Jane have raised two magnificent children, Jacqueline, a 26 year old physician, married to Alan, a 28 year old physician, and Gail, a 21 year old doll about to be married to a young wonderful lawyer named Richard. They are all in perfect health, living in Boca Raton Florida, on the outside, the family envied by the entire world ?a modern day Pleasantville family. Unfortunately, the entire family is caught in the throes of grief and misery, as if the Titanic had just hit the iceberg in the icy Atlantic Ocean late at night, and the captain just realized that they forgot to load the lifeboats. How could this be?
Well, have you ever heard of a little 3 letter word called sex? Sigmund Freud, the father of modern psychiatry, who had intimate relations with his mother on a regular basis, said that every 3 seconds men have a sexual thought. It must have been all that time spent sitting in his chair with his stopwatch that led to his fascination with Fransz Antoine Mesmer, the father of faith healing, and hypnosis, if you don count the Jewish born rabbi and creator of the Universe, the Messiah to 2 billion Christians and 1 billion Muslims, Jesus aka Joshua aka Yeshua aka The Holy Spirit aka God the Father Almighty, you know who I talking about. Sam and Jane have spent hours if not days with their relationship counselor Dr. Ellen Friedrich, who is still working on the case, without any success. She is wondering how she passed 11 years of medical school but can seem to get the perfect couple of the universe to function peacefully together. Sam has spent so much time bouncing from baby Thomas?crib room, to hotel suites, to his palatial country estate in the Hamptons alone, that when the border guard asked his address, he began to drool uncontrollably and had to be fitted with a cloth between his teeth and a straight jacket to prevent him from chewing his jaw off.

So what is at the root of Sam and Jane Twain misery? Well, 8 years ago, a lovely woman, Dawn, divorced from 2 abusive alcoholics, came to work as a secretary in the office of Sam Twain. To say that the chemistry between Sam and Dawn was and continues to be hot, is like saying that Adolf Hitler wasn really that enamored with Jewish people. Sam and Dawn not only set the bed on fire at an age when Sam should be going blind from Viagra, but they also have a blazing red hot friendship. At the same time, Sam is still madly in love with Jane, even though 30 years of practice seems to have cooled off the sheets somewhat. One would think that of these 3 intelligent and mature adults, at least one of them after eight years of this relationship turmoil would have been able to say good bye to one of the others, but unfortunately we are dealing here with human beings, and life is not that simple.

Sam cannot bring himself to leave Jane because he loves her so. Sam cannot bring himself to leave Dawn because he likes her so and Dr. Freud may have been wrong ?it may have been every 2 seconds. Dawn cannot break up with Sam because he is the answer to all of her financial emotional sexual and life problems, and Jane cannot bring herself to throw Sam out of the house because she so loves Sam, and knows that even half a husband is better than cyber dating - an endless series of coffee dates with every nutcase in the world and their own endless baggage claim checks. Perhaps this is the answer to world peace ?it never going to happen. Maybe the Black Eyed Peas were right - wee all too addicted to the drama.

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Are You Satisfied With Your Mate?

My idea of home is everything at the right place. His idea is to litter around as much as possible. I love to read, he prefers to go to movies. I love to party, she prefers a cozy dinner for two. I love what they call junk food and she wants organic vegetarian. And so it goes. Both the partners are so different in every thing, that one wonders how they ever came together. What can one talk about such relationships?

Many of us are involved in such relationships. One of the partner is a genius and the other could barely pass through the exams. How do such relationships develop and how do they survive? Such relationships developed because both loved each other because of the differences. The differences attracted them. They found each other so different to each other that it was something exciting for them. They loved each other for these differences and so they came to enjoy life as if it was some exciting trip to unknown destinations.

What is the future of such relationships? It is difficult to say. If the love and care that brought them together still remains, they will tolerate everything else. Doesn't a mother do everything for her toddler? That is because of love and care. So if the love remains, everything can be taken care of. If they are still very much caring for each other and get no thought of a break-up, nothing can break them. But if the love dwindles, the complaints will rise. The complaints will finish the remaining love and the relationship is doomed.

If you ask some one if he/she is satisfied with their mate, the answer will tell you about the love between them. Because even if their habits are very much similar and the love is lost, they will find imaginary complaints. Satisfaction with ones mate depends on one factor - love and care. If both care for each other and love each other, they will be satisfied despite thousand differences or similarities. Otherwise they will be dissatisfied under every circumstance.

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5 Important Details Developing Rapport

Let us take a peak at the basics of developing rapport with others.

In a nutshell, what it takes is to ask questions, have a positive, open attitude, encourage an open exchange of communications (both verbal and unspoken), listen to verbal and unspoken communications and share positive feedback.

Here are important details on each step:

1. Ask Questions

Building report is similar to interviewing someone for a job opening or it can be like a reporter seeking information for an article.

Relax and get to know the other person with a goal of finding common ground or things of interest. You can begin by simply commenting on the other persons choice of attire, if in person, or about their computer, if online, and following up with related questions.

For example, in person, you could compliment the other person on their color choice and or maybe a pin, ring or other piece of jewelry and ask where it came from.

In online communications, you could compliment the other persons font, smile faces or whatever they use, mention that the communication style seems relaxed and ask if he or she writes a lot.

Then basically follow up, steering clear of topics that could entice or cause arguing, while gradually leading the person to common ground youd like to discuss.

2. Attitude

Have a positive attitude and leave social labels at home (or in a drawer, if youre at home). Many people can tell instantly if you have a negative attitude or if you feel superior. So treat other people as you would like to be treated. And give each person a chance.

3. Open Exchange

Do encourage others to share with you. Some people are shy, scared or inexperienced in communicating and welcome an opportunity to share. So both with body language and verbal communication invite an exchange. Face the other person with your arms open, eyes looking into theirs gently (not glaring or staring), and encourage a conversation with a warm smile.

4. Listen

Be an active listener. Dont focus your thoughts on what YOU will say next. Listen to what the other person is saying and take your clues from there, while also noting the body language.

For example, if the other person folds his arms and sounds upset, you may need to change the subject or let him have some space and distance; maybe even try approaching him later on and excusing yourself to go make a phone call (of head to the buffet table or somewhere to escape).

On the other hand, if the other person is leaning towards you, following your every word and communicating with your as if you were old friends, BINGO. Youve built rapport!

5. Share People like compliments

So hand them out freely without over doing it. Leaving a nice part of yourself like a compliment is a good memory for the other person to recall - numerous times. Thats good rapport. But do be sincere! False compliments arent easily disguised.

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Are You Getting Cheated - Try This Quiz

So you think that your partner might be cheating you? Why do you think that? Why not try this small quiz and find out the truth? A quiz is always very helpful in finding the truth. The quiz questions are simple such as- Does your partner not love you? Does he/she not share the expenses? Do they look at others and try to give flirting signs even if they are with you? Are they keeping relations with their ex even now? Or is it just a felling that you are being cheated either physically or emotionally? Let us take this quiz and find the truth.

Quiz sixth sense-

Many times, the feeling that we are being cheated is itself an evidence of something going wrong. Our sixth sense tells us that. Our conscious mind may fail to take the hints but the subconscious will do. So while taking this quiz don ignore the inner signals.

Quiz cheating patterns-

Did you find your partner talking to somebody on phone and then disconnect the phone as soon as they saw you? Is your partner wary of sharing the mail password with you? Are you finding that their cell phone bills are more than normal? Do they go out without informing you and make some excuse when you ask? Are any outside business trips involved? What about late work at the office? Or unscheduled work related meetings? Do they look at you eye to eye while talking? Or avoid talking and walk around while talking? Do you hear telephone bell and when you pick up the phone, line goes dead?

Quiz and get the truth-

These are some of the signs that something might be wrong? Not necessarily cheating. Why not quiz your partner and find the truth? Quizzing point by point will surely tell you the truth.

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4 Rules To Transform A Long Distance Love On The Internet Into A Normal Relationship

Keywords:

dating, online dating, relationships, seduction, marriage, foreign brides

Article Body:

Let's suppose that you are meeting someone online

and that person seem to be the match of your life,

but is living far away from you. Does it worth

to spend your time in a long distance

relationship with this person?

What if this person is really your soul mate?

You may be surprised how much a relationship can

grow if you work at it. If you know and apply

some simple rules, your relationship can turn out

to be one of the most successful and happy

relationships that ever existed.

Distance, combined with phone calls and writing,

electronically or through regular mail, can

foster an enviable intimacy which results from

learning about another's qualities, values and

ways of thinking, sensitivities, dreams, and

aspirations. This type of intimacy can make your

coming together much more special.

And, as if relationships weren't complicated

enough, having them across a long distance is

extremely challenging. Just read the following

rules and try to keep them in mind and apply them:

1. The quality of a relationship is more likely

to increase if both people develop the ability to

share feelings openly with each other. Do not be

afraid to tell your partner what you really need

and want from him or her, he or she deserves to

know the truth and judge whether they can give it

to you.

2. Make the relationship a high priority. Avoid

canceling reunions or putting off a phone call.

3. Keep in touch daily. If large phone bills are

a concern, send e-mail, letters, cards and even

faxes. And when you do make contact, don't just

stick to love talk, but keep each other informed

on the day-to-day aspects of your lives. This way

each of you is aware of how the other is thinking,

feeling and developing. Late-night talks and

thoughtful letters can convey a lot of what is

most important in the long-term: your goals,

values and dreams.

4. Be prepared to be flexible. Tell your partner

of how much you think about and love him or her

and you will score some important points. Making

them miss you more and youl fill them with the

constant urge to see you. But don't be possessive.

Being paranoid and accusing will only grow

doubts, insecurity and tension between you and

none of those will help the relationship develop

successfully.

If your partner truly wants to be with you, then

they would not want to wait forever to have you

next to her or him. As long as you both trust

each other, inform one another of your personal

lives, keep in touch, your relationship can turn

out into a happy normal relationship.

Ultimately, a fabulous relationship is your goal -

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Are You Made For Each other

The couple was walking on the sidewalk. They looked to be totally absorbed with each other. They were not speaking to each other, but a glance at them could tell that they were in deep love and were made for each other. What is this mystical quality of being made for each other? What qualities does this kind of relationship have? Are all the choices same? Or as we say in science, opposites attract. So the choices are totally different? Will a couple having different choices in every aspect love each other or fight over the choices? We can say that at least most of the choices should be very common. If I say that my partner and I are made for each other, what I must mean is this - he/she is the right person for me. There is no other person in the world other than him/her who can make a better couple with me. We are happiest being together and our happiness comes from our relationship.

Are choices the only factor that matter in our life? Is it enough if my eating habits, my dressing choices, my color preferences, my weather preferences and all my other likings are same as my partner, we are made for each other? Is that all to the relationship supposed to be made for each other? There must be something more? What can be that? Let us find out.

Love for each other, a deep longing for others body, heart and words and a feeling of deep satisfaction that is derived when the couple is together. The couple has only one desire- to share everything, every thought, and every emotion. The main goal in life - make and keep the partner happy and feel happy in his/her happiness. Whenever we look at a mother with her child, we never say that they are made for each other, but they share a bond that is very deep. If a couple can somehow share that kind of bond, it can be called 'made for each other.'

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Actions Of Love

Myrna, 38 and a successful physician, sought my help because she often felt inadequate. While she really valued herself as a doctor, she did not value herself in her important relationships with friends and family. In addition, she said she wanted to be in a loving relationship but she took no actions to meet available men.

In the course of our work together, it became apparent that Myrna rarely took loving action in her own behalf with her friends and family. For example, Jessica, one of Myrna friends, would often get angry and blame Myrna when Myrna was not available for dinner with Jessica. Myrna would feel guilty and responsible for Jessica feelings and meet her for dinner even when she was exhausted from work. Myrna would feel drained after these dinners and depressed for a few days after, never realizing it was because she had not taken loving care of herself.

Myrna realized that the reason she was afraid to be in a relationship was because she had no idea how to take care of herself around others. She was terrified of completely losing herself in an important relationship. She realized that if she could not speak up for herself with Jessica, how could she ever speak up and take loving action for herself with a man she was in love with? She realized that she would continue to feel lonely, anxious, inadequate and depressed until she learned to take loving action for herself.

Many people suffer daily from anxiety, depression, stress, and anger as well as from feelings of guilt, shame and inadequacy. The major cause of these feelings is a lack of loving action in their own behalf.

Loving actions fall into two categories: Loving actions for yourself and loving actions in relationship to others.

LOVING ACTIONS FOR YOURSELF

Loving actions for yourself are those actions that attend to your own needs. When you take loving action in your own behalf, you are letting yourself know that you matter, you are important, you count. When you fail to take loving action, you give yourself the message that you are not important, which leads to feelings of depression and inadequacy.

Loving actions for yourself might include:

* Eating nutritious foods, avoiding junk food and sugar, eating when hungry and stopping when full.
* Getting enough exercise.
* Keeping your work and home environments clean and organized.
* Getting enough sleep.
* Creating a balance between work and play. Making sure you have time to get your work done, as well as time to do nothing, reflect, learn, play and create.
* Creating a good support system of people who love and care about you.
* Being organized with your time, getting places on time, paying bills on time, and so on.
* Choosing to be compassionate with yourself rather than judgmental toward yourself.
* Creating a balance between time for yourself and time with others.
* Making sure you are physically safe by wearing a seat belt in a car, a helmet on a motorcycle, scooter, or bike, goggles when necessary, and so on.

LOVING ACTIONS IN RELATIONSHIP TO OTHERS

Loving actions in relationship to others might include:

* Being kind and compassionate toward others without compromising your own integrity or ignoring your own needs and feelings.
* Saying no when you mean no and yes when you mean yes, rather than giving yourself up and going along with something you don want to do, or automatically resisting what another wants from you.
* Taking care of your own needs instead of trying to change and control others. Accepting your lack of control over others and either accepting them as they are or not being around them.
* Speaking your truth about what is acceptable to you and what is unacceptable and then taking action for yourself based on your truth.
* Taking personal responsibility for your own feelings and needs, instead of being a victim and making others responsible for your feelings and needs.
* Creating a balance between giving and receiving, rather than a one-way street with another person.

As a result of learning to take better care of herself alone and with others, Myrna no longer felt depressed and inadequate. She gradually lost her fears of being in a relationship, and is delighted to be meeting available men.

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Anything For Her

Looking for that perfect gift for the lady in your life? If you are out of ideas and can't think of anything to buy, this article will help you find something just for her.

Fortunately, women have the reputation of being easier to shop for than men. Jewelry is always welcome. You can find unique presents at an antique shop, and vintage jewelry is extremely fashionable. Consider buying her an Italian charm bracelet, the newest fad in jewelry. Italian charm bracelets do not resemble the dangling charm bracelets popular in the 1950s and 60s. These sleek bracelets are covered by snap-on segments which can feature a wide variety of patterns and designs. Some are studded with gems, others are covered by miniature enamel paintings, and they come in all metals from stainless steel to 18K gold to fit all budgets.

For serious relationships, diamonds are always appropriate, and a small set of 1/4 carat earrings only costs a few hundred dollars, while its sparkle will accent any outfit. If you don't know how to judge the quality of diamonds (there are short online courses for beginners) stick to a reputable local jeweler so you will be sure to get a high-quality item. Not all diamonds are created equal, as some are grey or yellow and included with particles that detract from their appearance and value. Learn about the four C's before buying diamonds to make sure you get a good bargain.

Online auction sites are good places to pick up jewelry and other gifts. Ebay is the most popular venue, but there are smaller sites as well where you can pick up a bargain.

If the lady you are buying for has a hobby or a collection, try to find something that adds to it. For instance, a doll collector would love to have a limited-edition Barbie. Birdwatchers will enjoy a full-day outing, and perhaps a picnic, near a bird sanctuary. Scrapbook owners can always use small mementos or photos of special occasions. If your lady likes books, find a signed or limited edition.

Many women appreciate art, so look for an original piece that suits her decor. She will think of you whenever she sees it.

If you know her size and taste, buy her some attractive article of clothing. It doesn't have to be something as intimate as lingerie, as long as you avoid completely utilitarian items such as socks (that vile old Christmas standard). Try a handknit sweater or some soft lined gloves for cold winter days.

And don't forget the other love of her life -- her pet. People who own pets consider them part of the family, and always appreciate gifts for them. Try a personalized or rhinestone-studded collar for the dog, or some gourmet cat food for her feline. Dog grooming certificates make a great gift and save time spent on cleaning, brushing, and clipping the nails of pets. If there is a cat or dog show in town, get some tickets for both of you.

If you can cook, make her a romantic dinner complete with wine and candles. Everyone loves to be spoiled and waited on. Baskets of luxury foods and snacks are gifts suitable for everyone.

Last but not least, don't forget flowers! A dozen roses are always romantic, and a tropical bouquet will brighten her home for days. Or buy an attractive potted plant, which lasts longer.

Whatever you do, make sure your gift shows some thought and consideration of her tastes. If possible, don't buy a generic gift suitable for anyone. After all, it's the thought that counts, and you want to demonstrate that you feel she is special and worth some extra effort.

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6 Ways To Get Your Ex-Back In 3 Days

dating, online dating, flirt, seduction, relationships, romance, marriage, foreign brides, single parents

Article Body:

We make relationships to enjoy life. Even it

perhaps a lot of sacrifices to keep a

relationship and to make it work, many of us

prefer to make these sacrifices just to have near

the person we love and like to spend time with.

Sometimes it happens that a relationship ends

even that there is still love between the

partners. This happens when one of the partners

makes some regular mistakes and has a bad

behavior towards the other. But usually the one

who is guilty for ending the relationship are men

who figures out too late how much it cares about

the other and wants to change only after lose her.

There is nothing worst that being dumped by the

one you love and believed was "the one". Trying

to get a woman back in to your life is difficult.

If you lost your true love because of you and

really want to get her back, don't desperate.

Your situation is not necessarily hopeless.

At some point in life, we all lose something that

we really wish we held on to - in this case, you

lost your love and you need to get your ex back.

Getting back together with your lost love is not

about etting?them back or even relationship

repair. It's about wining them back. Winning them

back implies a few important things semantically.

It implies effort from your part.

First off all call her and tell her that you

really want to see her. If she wants to take

lunch with you make it so your ex notice that you

are changed, that you thought about why did she

leave you and she had right because there are

many reasons why she left. Apologize sincerely.

If she doesn't want to talk to you by not picking

up the phone when you call her, just surprise her

by waiting in front of the office where she works

and offer to walk her home when her program in

over. But before assure that she is not having a

boyfriend yet, because it might happen that

someone else is waiting for her so your chance is

ruined.

Act like you just starting dating, make her feel

special. Be honest, and tell her that you still

love her. Use the past to your advantage and let

her know that anyone deserves a second chance,

that things will be different now. Do not stalk

her; she might think that you are very desperate.

Just tell her that you are ready to make your

relationship a priority in your life.

If you can get a date with her, be positive,

laugh and smile. Make her feel good. Subtly touch

her when she's talking. You must raise the level

of attraction between the two of you, if she

still loves you; you know that she has a weakness

towards you.

If she didn't fall into your arms after your date

don give up. Call her often and just tell her

how you feel. Also you can make something special

for her, like sending flowers and buy her gifts.

Don't forget about anniversary and birthday.

E-mail her and let her know that you are

available any time if she wants to have a date

with you. Also assure her that you don't frequent

another girls and she is the most important for

you.

Be yourself, show her that you don't play games

and your intentions are very serious. Also, don't

be jealous if she had a date with another guy if

she is now ready to get back with you and

renounce to the other guy.

With this ways, a little luck and your personal

charm you can get your girlfriend back faster

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Are You Lovable?

This looks like an awkward question. We will confess that he/she is not lovable? But the truth is that many of us are not lovable at all. Can you imagine of a small kid? A kid is always lovable. Why? If we can answer that question, we will solve the puzzle about whether we are lovable or not.

A kid is innocent. Knows nothing and is totally defenseless. You love a kid, because he/ she wants you to protect him/her. You love a kid because of innocence. You love the kid because of the smiling face. You love the kid because the kid has no malice towards anyone. Does not desire any thing bad for any one. Recognizes no enemies and has faith in everyone. The kid is totally free of all negative emotions. That is why we all love a kid.

How many of us are like that? How many of us keep a smile on our face forever? How many of us are free of negative emotions? Not many. Agreed that we are grown ups and can not be like a kid. But surely we can borrow some good qualities from the kid. How about forgiving everyone? How about not getting angry at all? How about having faith in everyone unless proven otherwise? How about loving everyone? How about becoming non judgmental?

Once we acquire some of these qualities, we will become lovable. Believe me that it is that simple. All of your friends and colleagues will begin liking you more. You will get love from unexpected quarters. You will get your dream darling in a little time, after you transform yourself.

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Anniversary Ideas For Everyone

Are you about to celebrate a special anniversary with the one you love? Whether you have been together one year or fifty years it is important to celebrate the day in a special and memorable way. Sometimes, as much as you want to bless the one you love in a unique way, it is hard to come up with great anniversary ideas. One of the best ways to think of ideas can be to take a look back through the years of your relationship.

You will be surprised by how many perfect annivesary ideas you come up with simply by remembering special parts about the earliest parts of your time together. For instance, can you remember back to the first date the two of you shared? If so, try to recreate the date over again as a way of celebrating how far you've come. If you are still in the same city this kind of anniversary idea will be much easier to pull off.

Do you remember the first song the two of you danced to or the first film you saw together? Great anniversary ideas are sometimes as simple as renting that first film again or tracking down that old love song and dancing to it again. You will bless and probably surprise your special someone by your planning and the creativity you put into making great anniversary ideas happen.

Brainstorming other anniversary ideas can be easy when you simply think about the things that you and the one you love enjoy doing together. Consider planning a getaway weekend to an area that you have both wanted to visit. Or take your special someone on the cruise they have always wanted to go on. Be extravagant and do everything you can afford to make sure your anniversary is special. Do you love to hike and spend time in the mountains? Perhaps the best anniversary ideas for you would include a camping trip or renting out a cabin in the mountains that you love. Look for ways to incorporate things you already love to do together.

Celebrating anniversaries can be one of the best ways to keep the spark alive in your relationship. When you remember where you have been and all of the hard times that you have gotten through together it will be easy to celebrate a variety of anniversary ideas that come to your head. And perhaps the most important thing to remember as you try to gather and narrow down anniversary ideas is that in the end all that will matter is that you and the one you love get to spend quality
time together.

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Are You Being Lied To?

Right now, one of the books I am reading is et Anyone to do Anything?by David J. Lieberman.

This book is filled with many techniques you can use in difficult situations to get other people to do what you need them to do.

His methods are based on many years of research into human behavior. He has written a previous book on how to tell when people are lying to you.

I will just briefly present some of his ideas on how to tell whether or not another person is telling you the truth. This is a problem we all face from time to time, so it is helpful to have a few tips.

If you think his advice is useful, you may wish to check out more about David J Lieberman other books on human behavior. They are fun and easy to read, and contain a lot of practical, useful information.

You might get the suspicion that the other person is not telling you the truth. Sometimes we feel this suspicion because we are naturally suspicious and have a hard time trusting anybody. But sometimes we are suspicious because we sense that something is wrong, and that the other person is lying to us.

How can we tell when someone is lying to us about such a matter? Usually, when we try to ask questions of a person who has decided to lie to us, they will continue sticking to their story.

David Lieberman suggests that sometimes we can flush out a lie by introducing a made up act?related to the other person story. Make the act?you introduce sound like a plausible story. That means, it sounds as if it could have really happened, but it didn. Then watch how the other person reacts.

For example, if the other person says  was at the Royal Theater for the six olock movie? you can say,  heard on the news there was a big accident outside the Royal Theater just before six.?

If the person was really there, he will immediately tell you, o, there wasn an accident?and will appear quite calm about it.

However, if they weren really there, they are likely to become flustered and confused, because they don know what to say next. They might say something like h, right, well, that certainly was a bad accident.? If they seem to hesitate and act suspiciously, this will confirm to you that they weren really there, because they are trying to come up with another made up story.

I not a big fan of this technique because I don believe in trying to catch a liar by becoming a liar, but sometimes we feel desperate to know whether or not someone is lying to us about something important, and this kind of technique can at least let us know what kind of situation we are dealing with.

How to Tell is a Person is Trying to Bluff You

Bluffing is a word that means someone is pretending to be confident when they are in a difficult situation and they are trying to get away with something. They want desperately to manipulate you into believing they are confident and have a lot of power and advantage when really they don.

They are hoping that if they pretend to be confident, you will be fooled and back away or give in.

For example, in a game of playing cards, especially when betting is involved, a person who has a terrible handful of cards will often bluff. He will try to act very confident., as if he actually had very good cards in his hand.

By this show of confidence, he tries to intimidate the other card players into backing down so he can win. So, he will try to look confident and happy as he looks around the table.

And often, this technique will work, because the other players will believe, f he is acting so confident, he must have good cards. I should just give up now, before I lose too much.?
But as David Lieberman points out, if a person truly had a handful of very good cards, he would not be trying to act confident. Why? Because he has no real need to try to make the other players back down.

A person who truly has a good hand of cards would probably try to act quite neutral so others couldn guess that he was happy. Or he might even decide to pretend he is worried and anxious to cover up the fact that his cards are actually very good.

A player only needs to put on a show of confidence when his hand is quite poor.

So very often, a show of confidence is actually a sign that a person is bluffing. Because a person who truly has a powerful advantage doesn need to try to act confident.

All people who are bluffing have one thing in common ?they want you to think that they have some powerful advantage so they try to convey this by acting confident.

Very often, they try too hard. Remember, that when a person is truly confident of their position or their power, they don need to try too hard to convince you they are confident.

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Are Friends Happy Being With You?

We all have different style of talking, laughing, smiling, responding and communicating. Some of us are a comfort for others. We enjoy being with some people and we don enjoy some people. What is the difference between these persons? Why one persons presence enlivens the gathering an other person dulls it? What are the qualities needed to make one self socially popular?

Smile -The very first quality is smile. When we see some body smiling, we feel pleased. And if the smile is without any malice it is more enchanting. Keep smiling. Keep your problems with yourself and keep your face smiling.

Listening - when we don speak but only listen, people love us. All of us have our own problems and need somebody to listen to us. Become a good listener. Ask open ended question such as - and after that? Why? And so on. That will encourage the speaker to pour out all to you.

Have something funny to say - There is enough pain in the world. Bring in some laughter. Have a collection of jokes and make your friends laugh. The more they laugh, the more they will enjoy your company.

Appreciate - have a word of appreciation for everyone. You can appreciate some body clothes, or shoes or what ever. Appreciate. Make friends feel good.

To be friendly and to be charming is not an art. It can be easily developed by all of us. The only need is to pay less attention to our self and more to others. Make friends happy and they will love your presence. Make your presence the life of any gathering. Success is yours.

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Alone, Who Are You?

Relationships generally begin when both people are in the lone Stage,?although I am aware that often affairs begin when one or both partners are involved with someone else. It is my contention that relationships have a greater chance of success when both parties have spent some time alone and unconnected with a lover.

What does a person do with this time alone? If you are interested in creating the relationship you deserve, then you must become the best person you can be. Each successive relationship we engage in provides us with lessons and information we need to reflect upon. If we are attracting the rong?people into our lives, then perhaps it is because we are not the person we need to be in order to create a relationship with the person of our dreams.

This also means that each rong?person we attract into our lives is exactly the right person we need to teach us the lesson we need to get to move closer to the person we truly want. This is why I never look back at any relationships I have had with regret. Maybe not in the moment, but over time, I have come to understand that I learned valuable lessons in each of my past relationships and I grew, which then helped me become a better person.

Whenever we find ourselves in between relationships, it is not a time to longingly wish for the next partner to arrive. It is not the time to go out rowling?for the next person to make you complete. The time between relationships is a very important healing time. It is a time to look back on the past relationship to discover what that person was there to teach you about life, love and yourself. It a time of introspection to determine who you want to be in a relationship. I not talking about playing roles but I am talking about a genuine transformation of yourself into the person who deserves the relationship you seek.

No one dreams their entire life about meeting a mediocre partneromeone who thinks of them sometimes, who loves them a little and takes care of some of their needs. No one looks to get involved in relationships with people who lie, cheat and disrespect them. No one asks for verbal or physical abuse in a relationship. So how can we break the pattern of choosing the same type of person over and over again? I believe the key is to look at each relationship as the perfect relationship you needed at that point in time and then go about attempting to figure out what it was about the person that made him or her perfect for you during that period in your life.

Once you figure this out, you will have learned a valuable lesson. If you take that lesson and put it to use in your life, then you have one half of the equation.

The other half is about preparing yourself to be the kind of person who will attract the relationship of your dreams. If you are seeking a person to be loyal and to stand by you no matter what, then ask yourself the difficult question of whether or not you have those same traits and characteristics you seek. If there is something in your character that has caused you to be disloyal, then do some introspection to learn what you need to heal in order to become the person you truly want to be.

Relationships only act as a mirror, showing us those things about ourselves we don want to see. When we welcome the information and seek to learn from it, doing so will move us closer in the direction of becoming who we want to be.

It also helps during this alone time to take an inventory of the traits, qualities and characteristics we want in our erfect mate.?It is far more likely that we will attract the person we want when we become crystal clear about exactly what we are looking for. My list included having someone to love me for who I am, not in spite of who I am. I wanted a partner with loyalty, integrity, honesty, good looks, intelligence, a sense of humor, romance and availability (not involved with someone else). I wanted a man who was strong but gentle, decisive but sensitive and confident without being conceited. I wanted someone with whom I shared common interests and someone who didn feel the need to control me or compete with me. Guess what? After I was clear about what I was looking for, the erfect?person for me walked into my life.

Another thing I find extremely helpful during the long Stage?is to remember that you are perfect just the way you are. You are totally complete without a significant person to share your life. So often, in the Along Stage, we are focusing on our lack, instead of our abundance. We look at the one thing we don have, a romance, and waste the time we have been given feeling sorry for ourselves instead of putting the gift of time to use for the betterment of mankind in our own unique way.

In conclusion I say, first allow yourself alone time. Don be in such a hurry to jump into the next relationship before processing the last one. Take time to analyze the lesson in your past relationship(s). Use the alone time to search introspectively to assess whether or not you are the person you need to be to allow the person you seek to come into your life. And finally, focus not on your lack of relationship, but rather on what you can do to help others during this time.

Used wisely, your alone time can truly make an incredible difference in the way you experience your next relationship. Don short change yourself. Maximize and leverage the time you have been given between relationships. It is truly a gift.

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7 Ways To Improve Your Relationship

Good relationships don just happen. Ie heard many of my clients state that, f I have to work at it, then it not the right relationship.?This is not a true statement, any more than it true that you don have to work at good physical health through exercise, eating well, and stress reduction.

Ie discovered, in the 35 years that Ie been counseling couples, 7 choices you can make that will not only improve your relationship, but can turn a failing relationship into a successful one.

TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOURSELF

This is the most important choice you can make to improve your relationship. This means that you learn how to take responsibility for your own feelings and needs. This means that instead of trying to get your partner to make you feel happy and secure, you learn how to do this for yourself through your own thoughts and actions. This means learning to treat yourself with kindness, caring, compassion, and acceptance instead of self-judgment. Self-judgment will always make you feel unhappy and insecure, no matter how wonderfully your partner is treating you.

For example, instead of getting angry at your partner for your feelings of abandonment when he or she is late, preoccupied and not listening to you, not turned on sexually, and so on, you would explore your own feelings of abandonment and discover how you might be abandoning yourself.

When you learn how to take full, 100% responsibility for yourself, then you stop blaming your partner for your upsets. Since blaming one partner for one own unhappiness is the number one cause of relationship problems, learning how to take loving care of yourself is vital to a good relationship.

KINDNESS, COMPASSION, ACCEPTANCE

Treat others the way you want to be treated. This is the essence of a truly spiritual life. We all yearn to be treated lovingly ?with kindness, compassion, understanding, and acceptance. We need to treat ourselves this way, and we need to treat our partner and others this way. Relationships flourish when both people treat each other with kindness. While there are no guarantees, often treating another with kindness brings kindness in return. If your partner is consistently angry, judgmental, uncaring and unkind, then you need to focus on what would be loving to yourself rather than reverting to anger, blame, judgment, withdrawal, resistance, or compliance. Kindness to others does not mean sacrificing yourself. Always remember that taking responsibility for yourself rather than blaming others is the most important thing you can do. If you are consistently kind to yourself and your partner, and your partner is consistently angry, blaming, withdrawn and unavailable, then you either have to accept a distant relationship, or you need to leave the relationship. You cannot make your partner change ?you can only change yourself.

LEARNING INSTEAD OF CONTROLLING

When conflict occurs, you always have two choices regarding how to handle the conflict: you can open to learning about yourself and your partner and discover the deeper issues of the conflict, or you can try to win, or at least not lose, through some form of controlling behavior. Wee all learning many overt and subtle ways of trying to control others into behaving the way we want: anger, blame, judgment, niceness, compliance, caretaking, resistance, withdrawal of love, explaining, teaching, defending, lying, denying, and so on. All the ways we try to control create even more conflict. Remembering to learn instead of control is a vital part of improving your relationship.

For example, most people have two major fears that become activated in relationships: the fear of abandonment ?of losing the other - and the fear of engulfment ?of losing oneself. When these fears get activated, most people immediately protect themselves against these fears with their controlling behavior. But if you chose to learn about your fears instead of attempt to control your partner, your fear would eventually heal. This is how we grow emotionally and spiritually ?by learning instead of controlling.

CREATE DATE TIMES

When people first fall in love, they make time for each other. Then, especially after getting married, they get busy. Relationships need time to thrive. It is vitally important to set aside specific times to be together ?to talk, play, make love. Intimacy cannot be maintained without time together.

GRATITUDE INSTEAD OF COMPLAINTS

Positive energy flows between two people when there is an ttitude of gratitude.?Constant complaints creates a heavy, negative energy, which is not fun to be around. Practice being grateful for what you have rather than focusing on what you don have. Complaints create stress, while gratitude creates inner peace, so gratitude creates not only emotional and relationship health, but physical health as well.

FUN AND PLAY

We all know that ork without play makes Jack a dull boy.?Work without play makes for dull relationships as well. Relationships flourish when people laugh together, play together, and when humor is a part of everyday life. Stop taking everything so seriously and learn to see the funny side of life. Intimacy flourishes when there is lightness of being, not when everything is heavy.

SERVICE

A wonderful way of creating intimacy is to do service projects together. Giving to others fills the heart and creates deep satisfaction in the soul. Doing service moves you out of yourself and your own problems and supports a broader, more spiritual view of life.

If you and your partner agree to these 7 choices, you will be amazed at the improvement in your relationship!

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