5 Irresistible Ways To Make Women Fall For You

"I don't get it!..."

"I've a nice car. I'm accomplished. My A-List CV make the next guy look funky. I even wear the latest Armani! Why doesn't she flip for me? Why am I always alone??"

STOP!

How many times did you pound the dashboard of your Corvette bewailing this persistent question?

The avenue to Romance is littered with roadkill hearts and unrequited love.If you think you're unique in your loneliness, think again. There is enough dashboard pounding out there to start a global orchestra of dire distress.

But don't despair. Before you spin out of control, deploy the airbags fast. These strategic maneuvers should cruise you back on track:

1) Dress to Kill - all the time: No I don't intend that you wear $5000 suits to the grocers or the Rolex to walk the dog. What I want you to do is is to dress decently each time you hit the streets. Dab on some cologne. Be neatly shaven. Gentlemen, women are everywhere. If you dress with flash only at the bar or the party, you're missing out on 95% of eligible women. Some of the best relationships were forged during chance encounters at the bus stop.

2) Bedroom Eyes - When exploring new relationships with that sexy stranger, intensify the eye contact. Lock deep into her pupils. Let the rest of the world disappear even as a horde of supermodels troop by. You will naturally thrill her with the attention as she experiences the tendrils of growing attraction. Ethnologists have a term for it, the copulatory gaze. Get your eyes even sexier by enlargening your pupils; Dr. Hess concluded that dilated pupils are far far more attractive to women. How does one get the pupils popping? Simply gaze at the most alluring parts of a woman's face and fill your mind with loving caring thoughts. Your pupils naturally grow, endowing you with irresistible eyes.

3) Visual Caress - Get your eyes to do some facial travelling as you chat. Linger a bit on the nose, traipse across those lashes and rest upon the lips. Drink in her facial features as though you were admiring the Mona Lisa. She will delight in the attention!

4) Easter Eggs - Stumped at having nothing to say? Listen carefully for easter eggs as you talk. These are unusual words or phrases that she utters. Ask her to expound on it. Say "What's the story behind that?" or "How do you feel about that?". Women love to be probed for their opinions and their feelings.Gently bring out her emotions with sensitive open-ended questions.

5) Keep it Adrenaline Charged - Men talk facts: stock figures, bill payments, and boring engine specs. Women are different. They delight in FEELINGS TALK: how the new dress takes them to 7th heaven, how that special meal got them all giddy with ecstasy, how their shopping expedition drains their deepest problems away. Leverage this by steering away from facts talk. Pick out emotionally charged subjects and ask her how she especially relates to them. You'll be her new confidant!

I know what you're thinking. It's all common sense! That's true, but ask yourself this: how many of you actually practice this? Be honest.

Get out there and be the man women loves. Use your common sense!

This post was made using the Auto Blogging Software from WebMagnates.org This line will not appear when posts are made after activating the software to full version.

10 Perfect Places to Meet Women

Keywords:

dating, online dating, seduction, flirt, love, relationships, romance, marriage, foreign brides, single parents

Article Body:

In our days, in this big world, there are a lot

of single people who spend their life alone.

There are a lot of wonderful ladies out there

just waiting to meet the man of their dreams,

hoping that someday this will appear. Also, many

single men would like to meet their special one,

but the only problem is that they don't know very

well where to find the woman they want.

Learn to meet new people. In this fast paced

world, too many people out there are lonely.

Change your attitude and get out there and make

new friends.

So, if you want to meet someone new, you should

start by spending your time in the places most

visited by women, the best places to meet them.

1. Through friends and family. Surely you have a

lot of friends. If you are single, you should

spend much time with the boys, go with them at

parties. This is a good opportunity to meet

special girls which they probably know and help

you to get the one you like. It is one of the

most easy way to meet someone because your

friends presents you the girl and all you have to

do is to get know her better.

2. At work. Maybe you are a very busy man working

till late and don't have time to go out to

looking for a partner. In this case, the best

partner for you is somebody who is as busy as you

are and understands the reason why you don't have

too much time for her. If you are surrounded by

many women at your work, watch out because there

can be the perfect woman for you.

3. The mall. We all know that women love to go

shopping. That's why mall is always full of women

especially at the clothing area. From the big

number of girls meet here you can choose the one

you want and start a conversation with her by

offering your service to help her carry her bags.

It's just a beginning, you'll see if you have a

change to get a date with her.

4. At the gym. Why to keep making sport at home,

alone , when you can go to the gym, a place with

many beautiful women, with a perfect body. It's a

good opportunity to show that you are in a very

good shape too and attract the athletic and

beautiful woman you ever dreamed of.

5. Museums and art galleries. Here you can find

women that are better educated. You must act with

some elegance and refinement here. If you don't

know anything about the artists or pieces, act

with confidence and try to find out something

about the exhibit.

6. Public places: theater, cinema, disco, parks.

We all know that a woman who is single doesn't

like to spend her time alone in the house. She

likes to go out with their friends hoping to find

a partner. So, go to a disco, have fun and there

you have all the chances to find your special one.

7. Group dance lessons. There are a lot of women

who like to dance. You should follow some dance

lessons not only because in this place are a lot

of beautiful women, but it is important to know

to dance. Also it is a good chance to

approaching women, some of the dances being very

sensual and exciting.

8. Jewelry stores. I think that is no woman who

doesn like jewelries. Women are very

preoccupied on how they look that's why they like

to change their jewelries very often.

9. College. It's a place with an abundance of

women everywhere you look. It's the perfect place

to meet a young and smart girl like the one from

your dreams. The advantage is that you can choose

from a big number of girls.

10. Internet personals. If you don't like to go

out with your friends and prefer to spend your

time alone in the house in front of your computer,

you may find a partner online. It is a very easy

way to meet someone and make new friends. After

you get to know better a girl online you may ask

her for a date. It will be more easily for you to

win her at your date now that you already know

how she's thinking and what she likes.

This post was made using the Auto Blogging Software from WebMagnates.org This line will not appear when posts are made after activating the software to full version.

10 Common Lies Told by Women

Why are some relationships more honest than others? Why are some couples more truthful with each other while others like to deceive the partner? Nobody deserves to be lied, but there are no doubts that women are telling lies considerably and often. But so men do the same.

If you have trust issues in your relationship, in general, a woman may lie to you. Trust is something that you must build from the beginning of the relationship. Even though, a lot of people say ?white lies'' in order to make others feel better. Some women lie because, as caring creatures they want to spare the feelings of the man they are dating or seeing.

So, here are some common lies told by women that you should know. Someday you might hear them from your partner and it is better to know their real meaning.

1.You're perfect. I love you just the way you are and I wouldn't change a thing about you. Let's be serious; nobody is perfect. At the beginning of a relationship all of them say this because they didn't know you very well but after some time will definitely find something that needs changed. So, if she tells you something like this, don't be too enthusiastic because she finds you perfect just for a couple of days, and after that she will ask you to change.

2.You're right. Every time you are arguing with you're girlfriend usually ends up by telling you that you are right? Maybe this makes you feel proud of you, but you have to know that this is a big lie. She said this just to make you shut up, even if she didn't consider that you're right. She knows that after a while you will see that she was right, and may be waiting for apologize.

3.Nothing is wrong. The most common lie '' I'm fine'' when asked if there is something wrong is the most used by women. You see that she is upset, she is acting strange or doesn't want to talk to you too much and ask her what is the problem she says that everything is fine. They don't want to tell the real truth but they are expecting that men to figure out that something is wrong and those they had a mistake with something.

4.I do love sports honey. Maybe she agrees to stay and watch with you every week at a football game but this doesn't really mean that she like it. She accepts to do this just to show you that she is different from other girls and you have common interest. You may be thinking that you have found the perfect girl for you, because not many of them would like to stay to watch football, but don't be too happy because after a while she might had enough and get angry every time you sit down to watch a game.

5.I like spending time with your friends. At the beginning this is ok, but not too much. Even if they are good friends of you, she would like to spend more time alone with you and not with your friends. If she didn't tell you already this, she will ask you to keep visits from your buddies at minimum and then she might keep pretending she loves them.

6.Your family is adorable, so I like spending time with your family. The truth? Maybe twice a month. Think about it. Do you really think that she likes to spend time with your family where everybody is criticizing her and watch her every move? She agrees to spend time with your family when is necessary but she doesn't do it with much pleasure even if she is pretending in front of you that she likes them.

7.Your bank account doesn't matter. I hope you didn't believe this. We all know that this is definitely a lie. All women want a guy that is financial stable and independent, a guy that can assure her a future with no financial problems. This doesn't mean that you have to be very rich to have a girlfriend, but you have to have some money.

8.It doesn't bother to me if you look after women or go with your boys at strip-clubs. This is too good to be truth. Even she says that this is ok, she will definitely be upset that you want to go. They hate to feel second best to a night out with the guys, and accept this in order to make themselves seem less pathetically needy. If you choose to go, she will make you a lot of comments after, so you better think twice before you go.

9.You are very good in bed. If she choose to speak about this topic without you ask her, you don't have to believe all she says. If she starts to compliment you about your sexual experience it doesn't mean that she really believes that. Often a woman who cares about a man tell him all that she knows he wants to hear just to make him feel good about himself. So think about your girlfriend, your relationship, your sexual experience and see if you really deserve compliments on this topic.

10.Don't worry, it happens to everyone. If you just make a mistake, or fail in bed, you might hear this lie from your girlfriend. She doesn't want to show you how upset she is on you but in her mind thinks something else. I wouldn't be too sure that your mistake is forgiven and I would worry in not making too many '' accidents'' like these.

With all these presented, now will be more easy for you to know when your girlfriend is lying. As you see, what a woman says is not what she really thinks.

This post was made using the Auto Blogging Software from WebMagnates.org This line will not appear when posts are made after activating the software to full version.

Why do Women Get Attracted to Married Men?

The hooked and booked man is like a forbidden temptation. That's what makes him irresistibly attractive to a woman. He stirs a challenge in her. She feels a sense of power in attracting a man who is already taken. What makes him the catch for her is his confidence, experience and authority. The excitement stems from the fact that he's already taken.

The golden rule here is: you want what you can't have. Soon, this man becomes an overwhelming obsession for a woman. I call it the 'forbidden fruit obsession'.

According to me, there are two reasons for women falling for married men. Firstly, wild attraction. And secondly, vulnerability. For a woman, a married man represents a certain security she craves. A woman feels that a married man - compared to a bachelor - can meet her emotional and material needs in a better manner. Getting a married man signifies a triumph of one woman over another woman. He's a trophy catch. To have him, is about making the impossible.

If a woman wanted a fling, she could have had it with anybody. But a married man at her beck and call makes her value herself more... that he's willing to throw it all over for her. It increases her self-esteem. Mind you, she's enjoying this fantasy, as much as his wooing, his experience and the way he makes her feel extra special.

Sometimes, she likes the fact that he doesn't go weak in the knees in front of her. He's a symbol of authority. This relationship is about adventure and fun. But this is dangerous fun. There's a risk of running another person's life.

Married men love playing games. They give out the vibe - 'I'm married but I'm game'. Married men are always on the lookout for fun. These are men on the prowl. For a woman, it might be difficult to resist the vibes of attraction from a married man. He makes himself so indispensable.

A married man can give you a great time. There are times when this forbidden attraction transforms into love and romance, especially if the man doesn't have a happy marriage. Not all married men are jerks, some even leave their wives and get married to women they love. But the fact is, men and women love playing power games with each other. This is a dangerous game. It can take you through highs and lows, like you've never experienced. Human beings are fragile and one learns from trial and error. So it's you have to decide, whether it is a viable option to have a relationship with a married man.

This post was made using the Auto Blogging Software from WebMagnates.org This line will not appear when posts are made after activating the software to full version.

Why Do Women Want To Change Their Partner

Keywords:

dating, online dating, flirt, seduction, relationships, love, romance, marriage, foreign brides, single parents

Article Body:

There are major, significant differences between

men and women. Women and men are looking for

different things in a relationship because they

have different personalities. It is still a

mystery for men what a woman really wants in a

relationship, what she needs to be happy.

Women have an idealistic view of the relationship

and that is why they want the man to change.

Changes occur every day but rarely do they affect

anyone. Therefore, men refuse to do this, they

usually have the concept that if their woman

loves them, they have to accept them as they are.

If not, they had better change their girlfriends.

People in relationships often have strong

expectations that their partner will be exactly

what they want. You will see that if you meet a

girl and you will have a long relationship with

her, after a while she will try to change you.

When you met her, she was perfect in every sense

of the word. However, after a while, she will try

to make you to be like the person from her

fantasy.

People which try to change other people in a

relationship initially try to make the person out

to be something they were not and try to mold

them in the perfect mate. Nevertheless, a perfect

mate does not exist. Trying to change a person is

a sign of strong possession, to have someone so

strongly that you can actually change his or her

behavior.

Change is not always a bad thing to try to induce,

sometimes your partner can just lack certain

social graces; but change should always be a two

way street with a couple, otherwise you just

controlling the other person.

However, women always seem to want to change the

man they are in love with. Even if they know that

men do not change, yet women try anyway. That

happens because most women enter into a

relationship with unrealistic ideas.

There are girls that have strange ideas about

relationships, and they try to change the person

they meet with a person they loved before, but

this always fail. In addition, they do not

understand why men like going out with their

friends to pubs, even if it is a form of

relaxation, especially in weekends, when they

consider that weekend is for the family to spend

time together.

Many times happens that your girlfriend sees you

staring at a beautiful woman whom is passing near

you on the street and she gets angry and asks you

to stop this and change yourself. However, this

happens because women are very jealous and do not

understand that men like to admire the opposite

sex and not necessarily with intention to sleep

with them.

Women should learn to love their partner with all

his faults, this will save them of a lot of

heartache for the long-term of her relationship.

This is the reason there are so many divorces.

All women try to change their man, that is why

rarely hear that a woman is complimenting her man

to her friends. They compete to see who has the

worst man.

Maybe you have a relationship for a long time and

she asks you to change a little bit. You changed

yourself quite a lot, but she still finds out

things that she does not like about you, and

wants to be changed. It is never enough no? What

is next? Usually men cannot change easily, but

some of them change themselves only if they are

motivated to do so.

However, if your love and trust in your

relationship were strong enough, she would not

ask you to change yourself. It takes maturity to

the woman to realize that she will never change

the person who she want to be, so she should

accept him or forget him.

To have success with your relationship you must

accept and respect the differences that are

between you two. Both have issues, but if there

is true love, you will try to complement each

other.

Because of the big differences between men and

women, the most frequent complain men have about

woman is that they always try to change them, and

the one that women have about men is that men

never listen. It is true that women value love,

communication, beauty, and relationships while

men are more interested in objects and things

rather than people and feelings.

This post was made using the Auto Blogging Software from WebMagnates.org This line will not appear when posts are made after activating the software to full version.

Why Are Russian Women So Popular? Learn The Secrets.

This topic has been debated many times but the question still exists: "Why do a lot of single men choose the finest Russian women, pretty girls, Russian ladies looking for men?" Frankly, I get asked this question a lot. What's so special about a Russian woman?
If you ask yourself these questions, you'll probably find helpful information in this article.

Stats.
According to the latest census, Russia is home to 10 million more women then men, said State Statistics Committee head V.Sokolin.
The number of women in their 30s exceeds the number of men significally. After the divorce, the woman with a kid (or with no kids) has little chance of getting married again in Russia, according to sociologists.
There are no men in Russia to get married to: mortality rate of the working age males is extremely high.
Keeping these stats in mind, check your dating opportunities in Russia as well. You will be shocked by the quality of Russian women looking for men.

Beauty.
The proverb 'Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder' confirms that tastes differ. The woman one man considers to be beautiful, another may think she is not. Effortless grace... Charming smile... Kindness... Beautiful cheekbones... Fair hair and skin...? Hard to choose... Possibly, it makes an irresistible mix.
Let's see it by the eyes of men. This is how Western men describe a genuine Russian woman: "Slant to the eyes...", "I can't resist this stunning beauty...", "Russian women are the most beautiful women I have seen"...
Should anything be added? However, nobody is able to judge by beauty alone. Let's see other finest Russian women's qualities.

Family.
The woman's marriage age in Russia is about 23-25 years old. It means a woman gets married comparatively young. At least she tries but fails (see the census).It looks unusual if a Russian woman at the age of 30 is still unmarried. She feels uncomfortable either.
These are daily facts from the Russian woman's life:
*Being highly educated, she would prefer a stable and happy family to her career;
*Tireless commitment to her loved ones, she keeps the household herself;
*Her husband is a partner and not a competitor;
More facts?

Love and romance.
Russian woman's 'romantic sweetness' makes her search for a happy, fulfilling and loving relationship. She is extremely feminine, healthy, sexy, passionate, sensual and thankful.
Love-making is not a hard work for her: it's the pleasure and the beauty of mutual satisfaction. The truth is that the Russian woman while making love is really making love ... She wants to see the excitement in you, so give it to her! You will not regret.

Education.
You will be pleasantly surprised at the educational level of the finest Russian ladies looking for American men and marriage. A university or college degree is a common thing. It's not a bluff.
Don't forget they are spiritual. The tradition of reading books, attending concerts, museums is still alive in Russia.
Pretty Russian girls are extremely teachable: you will not believe how quickly they are able to begin speaking a new language and adapt themselves to the new circumstances.

Do you think it's easy to leave the country of birth, relatives, friends, the job, and the native language? Try... It's extremely difficult.
Ideal image? This is sure a common portrait of the finest Russian women, pretty girls, Russian ladies looking for men and marriage abroad.

If you take into account the general qualities as well as concentrate on the real woman, you'll be fine. Start focusing on the given woman, communicate with her, ask and answer questions, let her know that you are sincere. Be yourself, let her know that you care about her - any woman wants to be taken care of - how can you go wrong with that?

The notion 'Russian woman' includes women from Ukraine and Belarus as well, as they have very much in common.
There are exceptions so you should be very careful in your choice.

This post was made using the Auto Blogging Software from WebMagnates.org This line will not appear when posts are made after activating the software to full version.

Women! Get More Love By Giving Less.

Any woman can attract a better quality man or inspire the man she has to give her more love, affection and romance, by learning the truth about Overnurturing.

What is Overnurturing? It's doing too much in a relationship. Giving too much. It's the reverse of how a relationship works best for a woman.Giving is what men are supposed to do. Women are supposed to receive the love, affection and gifts that men give, and then give love and affection back to them. Though many of us have caught onto this, it challenging to stop doing what wee always done, what wee been told is the way to do things, and to fly in the face of the fallout we fear. So I going to tackle one little issue ?Nurturing.

Nurturing is masculine. If you want to get what he wants to give, stop nurturing your man.

Radical as this sounds, try it. Stop doing. Stop giving. Stop massaging your husband feelings. Stop helping your date do the relationship thing and let him flounder until he figures it out. He will.

This whole concept of nurturing is a dilemma for most of us. We think of mothering, nurturing, caring for our young as a feminine aspect of ourselves.

It isn.

Nurturing and caring for others may be a female trait ?Motherhood is female ?but it still about action! Nurturing is about doing. Giving. Your energy goes out of you and toward or into someone else. When you give, you are acting from a masculine energy place.

We are so accustomed to the idea of nurturing being feminine, we get confused. We think being loving to our men is nurturing them. Massaging their bodies, minds and spirits. There is nothing wrong with the idea of nurturing ?it the form our nurturing takes that causes so much difficulty. We are all composed of masculine and feminine (yin and yang) energies. We move through them fluidly at our best, and are stuck in one or the other at our worst.

But most of us are stuck at one extreme or the other. We either give too much all the time and then find ourselves resentful all the time, or we go the other way and make ourselves emotionally unavailable to our dates, our husbands, our boyfriends, and every man we meet.

Too often, our nurturing energies are perceived by men as mothering. Our actions seem intrusive. We seem to be judging them and finding them coming up short ?otherwise why would they need taking care of? On the other hand, they love attention. Don we all?

To strike some sort of balance when we are all so mightily out of balance, I asking you to pull back to zero. To at least imagine pulling back to zero. The baby steps you actually take may seem huge. When you stop doing for your man what he doesn need you to do, yet has grown accustomed to your doing, may resent your not doing, and will certainly find himself relieved that youe stopped doing, things may get messy before they get better. But they will get better.

This is all about Overfunctioning.

What does Overfunctioning and Overnurturing look like?

You come to the door the moment he gets home and ask him how his day went. You offer to massage his neck, his feet, his back because he looks so tired (even though youe just as tired.) Or you give your date directions to your house before he asks. And you invite him in and offer him something to eat or drink without even knowing what he has in mind for the evening. You offer to cook him a meal when he barely taken you out to a decent restaurant. You offer sex to your husband, without being asked, and even if youe not in the mood, because you figure you should. You ask him how he feels, and demonstrate concern for his feelings and moods.

This sounds nurturing, but it not. It mothering. Nurturing a grown-up is giving him what he wants, not what you think he needs. Nurturing a grown-up is not tolerating what you don want. Not tolerating him treating himself badly or carelessly if it damaging to you or his relationship with you ?this means smoking, eating badly, not working, never leaving the house.

And you do it not by telling him what he needs to do and helping him do it, but by telling him how angry it makes you feel when it happening. Or telling him how good it feels when he does something that makes you happy. Let him figure out how to take responsibility for making you and the relationship happy ?on his end of it.

This is feminine energy ?the expression of honest-to-goodness feelings. All the caretaking and fixing and doing and massaging and concern is masculine energy in action, and it will get you nowhere near what you want.

Try it the feminine way. Stop nurturing a grown-up man, and start expressing your feelings moment by moment. The first time is scary ?but then, youl see ?youl wonder how you ever loved any other way.

This post was made using the Auto Blogging Software from WebMagnates.org This line will not appear when posts are made after activating the software to full version.

Being Dumped, just plain sucks!

Hurricanes really suck. Even if they do not reach you, they still threaten your safety net. Florida survived last years attack of Mother Nature, so we are a little more courageous this year. Not much, but a little. I would love to meet the person that pissed her off (Mother Nature). Not only does she get even, but she does it with a vengeance. That's like PMS & Menopause all rapped up. So, for all you poor souls that are in for that ride(PMS & Manopause), and have no clue what it is all about, think hurricane. It can turn in a second and destroy you. Oh, and it has many names also, like bitch, nag, crazy, nuts, annoying, female, insane, messed up, pms'ing, hallucinating, on drugs, stupid bitch, mentally challenged, and that's just a few, except they are not in an alphabetical order like the hurricanes. OK so we are disorganized. BITE ME! You seriously have to be PMS`ing to be able to understand (winks). I can only hope that everyone gets as many laughs as I have so far typing this.

OK, now onto more serious matters in life. Today I received a question from a guy. Here is what he said:

"Posted by Anonymous
The last woman I was involved with was quite full of herself.
So then why did she dump me?"

And my answer to him was this... "Posted by Dorothy
Hey there, sorry to hear about your being dumped. Not knowing either of you, it is really hard to answer that question. There are many reasons for people walking away from a relationship. It could have plain worn out. Also they could have found someone else. Either way, it sucks, and you have to deal with the pain, and learn to get on with your life. It is a challenge, but it does make you aware, of what being human is all about. There is a saying; "If it doesn`t kill you. it will only make you stronger." Also I am a firm believer in: " Things do happen for a reason." Hang in there, things will get better, if you let them. Take Care and thank you for sharing that with me."


"Being Dumped" really is one of the worst experiences, short of death that we, as humans are faced with in our lives. They say that, death of a loved one is easier to learn to live with, than a break-up , "Being Dumped" or rejection.

All of the above, tell us that we are unacceptable to someone. We immediatley turn it into ourselves and that's when the self-blame seed is sown. Through self-blame we begin to feel shame. Shame is so painful, that no one talks about it or even wants to think about it. Shame is the least identified emotion we as humans deal with, because we are ashamed of our shame. Shame, is yet another negative emotion, that captures and imprisons us in a pit of hell. It pulls us into a life of silence and inactivity, lying and hiding our true fears. When we are rejected in any situation, it is a true hit to our self-esteem. If we are weak in that area, then our fall is going to be very hard. If we are strong in that area, we will quickly become weak. I wrote this in a recent blog:


"When we first fall in love; What is that saying, "Love is Blind"? Ha! Now that's funny, because it really is blind. We trust so instantly and genuinely that we potentially set ourselves up for the biggest fall in our lives. Why is that? Is it because we are so driven by nature to want to trust someone? Or is trusting someone just a happier, easier, way of life."

So there it is, we as humans, live to love and want to be loved. We are blinded by the romance of the word ~ LOVE~. We are made happy by the word~LOVE~, but we are also hurt by the word ~LOVE~. So why do we continually set ourselves up? We are gambling, and we do not even know it. Or, is life simply just that, a gamble? The bottom line is, no one wants to get "DUMPED", because it is not in our nature to know how to accept it. How many of you have been, "DUMPED" and just knew that your life had ended? You just knew that you will never see anything the same again. Well, you were partly correct there. It is like any other change in our lives. Things will be different than we are use to. Your life has definitely not ended. Yes, your partnership has ended with a person, and maybe it was not expected, but nor are hurricanes or wars. We deal with it all, we have to. We chose to survive. Think of it as starting a new life. Newness is positive and healthy. Look at things differently, and embrace all that newness. Do not fear it. "BEING DUMPED", is just another chapter in your book of life. If you had no chapters, think how dull your book would be. Now, you can open your self to another chapter, and believe me, there are many. If you spend the rest of your life wondering all the "WHY`S", just think, you have wasted even more of your precious time on something that has chosen another road. As for the fact that a person is, full of themselves, that really has nothing to do with the "Why's" of "Being Dumped". Even the most confident people close doors on relationships. They in fact, have more courage to do so than a person of less confidence, or being less full of themselves, so to speak. Who Knows? All we know is that the decision has been made and you as a person, with intelligence, must turn the page. Getting stuck in that feeling just makes therapists rich. (wink) Life offers many, many humps and bumps. We trip and fall, over and over again. The trick is to get real good at picking yourself up and dusting off the old dirt. This is life. I told my daughter, when she was struck by her first cupids arrow, "If you are going to get emotionally involved, be prepared to get emotionally uninvolved." It's life! One very important thing we must remember; when we are at the bottom and we feel we are worthless and will never ever TRUST again, it's is a nothing more than a human emotion. We know it as doubt. We can over come doubt very easily. Look in the mirror, and tell yourself, that you are UNIQUE, and you are going to make happiness your goal. You must risk all the falls to reach that goal. Letting yourself believe that you are deserving of another relationship is truly a risk, again another gamble. But what is life without a little risk? We have the power to overcome our negative self. We just need to DO IT!!


"Self doubt is not an option!

Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we often might gain

by fearing attempt."

Shakespear

Dorothy Lafrinere
Owner/Operator
Website- http://www.womensselfesteem.com
Weblog- http://www.justblogme.com/Dorothy
Forum- http://womenselfesteem.proboards29.com
email- dorothy@womensselfesteem.com

This post was made using the Auto Blogging Software from WebMagnates.org This line will not appear when posts are made after activating the software to full version.

BROKEN TRUST!

BROKEN TRUST......ever been there?

BROKEN TRUST......ever spent sleepless nights because of it?

BROKEN TRUST......ever felt your stomach eat itself through the lining?

BROKEN TRUST......ever been so confused with what is real and what is not ?

BROKEN TRUST......ever feel like your entire world has just turned upside down?

BROKEN TRUST......ever feel like dieing?

If you have been there so to speak, then you know what it means to suffer from a trust betrayal, or BROKEN TRUST. For lack of a better word. It just plain SUX!

I want to say that we need to experience a broken trust in order to really be able to feel an unbroken trust, but this is not so. There are some experiences in life that no one deserves and dealing with a BROKEN TRUST is certainly one of the top ten.

Some people go through their lives never experiencing the feelings of betrayal or deception or a BROKEN TRUST. For them life is always good and on an even keel. They cannot even imagine what others, that have had even one of those experiences, is feeling or trying to explain.

Have you ever just been totally blinded by your affection with another that you over look every warning sign.? Have you caught a glimpse of a warning sign, and when confronting your partner about it, you believe them after some discussion, but still have a lingering feeling of doubt? Have you ever came upon warning signs that are as real as your hand and when you tried to question them about it, you were made to feel like you were doing something wrong even thinking that they had anything to do with it, yet in your guts you could not feel that you were wrong?
Have you ever brought solid issues up to your partner, because you just need to know, and all they do is get angry and accuse you of not trusting them?

In all these scenarios, the partner being confronted is either guilty, or not.
They could be guilty but with an honest excuse. They could be very good at playing the reverse the attack game, making you feel like you are the wrong doer in the end. Or they just plain pretend that they have no clue what you are talking about and ignore it altogether, again making you out to be the problem if you persist to question.
When you love someone, it does not mean that you should turn a blind eye and agree with their every thought or decision. You, as your own person have choices. If you feel threatened or betrayed, you have the right to clear up those feelings.

Just because you question your partner about an issue does so not mean that you lack TRUST or LOVE. Matters of the heart are very tricky to deal with. One can become very defensive and take any question as a personal attack. That is why emotional wars in any relationship are so draining and confusing.

No one wants to mistrust their partner, but what is one to do when certain signs keep coming up time and time again? Love is only so blind. Some people go through life succeeding in their game of denial or turning the tables to suit themselves. Those types are the hardest people to deal with in a relationship. Eventually you are always the one that ends up feeling hurt and accused of not trusting.. Not only hurt by what you feel is wrong but also, you feel defeated in what you feel and believe is right. Because of your love for your partner and the desire to keep things happy, you stay quiet and try to "Let it go". Then you find yourself mistrusting even more because you are forced to decide about things in your own mind, for fear of being wrong again. This is where a communication break down occurs between two people in a relationship. Once that happens, both parties are on separate roads going separate places and sometime never ever meeting on the same road again.
If you are any of these personalities listed above and you care about your partner, then you must not let communication fall to the way side. Also you must not take it as a personal attack, but more of a person crying for help. It is them that is suffering from a BROKEN TRUST and they are in need of your patience and understanding. They are not enjoying their torture at all. In some ways they are trying to share the pain with you. I know that sounds a bit confusing , but to be human is to be a confusion.
Life can be so good when we have no BROKEN TRUST issues to deal with. Also we need to respect one another and not add to the confusion of a "Normal" relationship by deceiving or belittling our partner. Relationships are at thier best when both partners are at peace and respect one another!

Some hurts cannot be repaired,

but at least they not need be endured alone!

Dorothy Lafrinere
Owner/Operator
Website- http://www.womensselfesteem.com
Weblog- http://www.justblogme.com/Dorothy
Forum- http://womenselfesteem.proboards29.com
email- dorothy@womensselfesteem.com

This post was made using the Auto Blogging Software from WebMagnates.org This line will not appear when posts are made after activating the software to full version.

Walking on egg shells !

Walking on egg shells! Has anyone ever told you, that's how they feel around you? If they have, it's a huge red flag and one that should not be ignored. It needs to be dealt with immediately.

Relationships are a tough challenging part of our lives. Especially when dealing with matters of the heart. As truly good as they make you feel, they can in turn tear you apart from the inside in a heartbeat. When the red flags start to rise up, that's when your relationship is crying out for help. You need to address it, as if a baby was crying out to you.

When someone says they feel like they are walking on egg shells, what is that telling you? It's telling you :

that they can no longer be themselves in your presence.
that they fear your reaction whenever they speak.
that they are stuck, that they cannot move in either direction, for fear of upsetting you.
It is also telling you that they need to stop this feeling that is tearing them apart.
Many of us are guilty for causing these prison bars that surround our loved ones.

We do not even realize that our own fears are doing this to them. We are so caught up in ourselves that we are blind to the world that we have created for them.

Through our own fears we hear what they say in all the wrong languages. We interpret them through our weaknesses and turn what they say all upside down.

Some of us react irrationally, forcing our partner to either take cover and hide or even worse become irrational themselves. This is when we both become deaf and blind. When the relationship war begins, there are no winners, only victims. What once was love, kisses and smiles has turned into an ugly vicious battle ground of snarls, hate, and searching for the lowest hit we can aim for. Wow, how does this happen so fast? We as humans are notorious for ruining so many very good things out of pure bad habits.

No one wants to lose or be the one saying, "I am sorry" every five minutes, nor should a real relationship become a win/lose situation either. Who wants to walk on egg shells? Then again, no one wants to have to defend their every breathe to someone they thought loved them unconditionally and are committed to. Walking on egg shells sucks!

If we cannot be ourselves with the one we love, then who can we be that with? This is not to say that a person should disrespect the other. When you know that something troubles the other person or makes them feel truly uncomfortable, it should go without saying that it is just not done. That is true respect. Why would you want to do something to hurt your best friend or even make your loved one feel out of place?

In new relationships it does take time to get things organized as in any new situation. Moving into a new house, a new job, having a baby, or even planning a trip, we have to reorganize to accommodate our now lives. Committing to another person is just the beginning of the book. It is just the title. Now you have to write the story and yes, make a few corrections along the way on both parts, but the trick is to constantly compare each others notes. Remember this: staying on the same page is what your relationship is all about.

When we make a commitment to another person through love, we are taking on a responsibility to share our love and life with that person. We are silently telling them that we are now going to take in consideration their feelings as well as our own.

Your once single-self life has now become a two-self life. This does not mean that you stop breathing and living. It just means that you are now sharing your life with this chosen person. It opens up a whole new world of respect. Remember also that you cannot gain respect if you do not offer respect. Life becomes a definite two-way street when two hearts are involved. There are also two minds working in this relationship now; two minds that are of opposite genders, two minds that will collide now and then. This is not a bad thing. We need to have differences to add spice to our lives.

Be very careful of starting the "Poor Me", habit. This is another relationship red flag to watch for. Remember, walking on egg shells? If one partner becomes so caught up in their own worries and fails to share this with their partner, it will sneak in between you both and begin to build a very strong wall of negative habits. If you have read any of my other articles, you will know these negative habits well, jealousy, mistrust, low self-esteem and total loneliness.

When your partner begins to feel they are slipping away from you, grab on and do not for a minute take that red flag for granted. Listen hard to their worries and love them more, not necessarily better. Just show more of your love. If they keep slipping away, then there is either nothing left to save or they need help outside of your relationship.

It is so important to know your partner. Only then can you realize when they are in trouble. Do not allow your relationship to become the wallpaper in your house. No one wants to be a wallflower. No one with any self-respect that is.

Another great phrase I hear all the time is, "Door Mat syndrome". Oh this is a very bad thing for couples to allow to take hold of their relationship. In many cases one partner has taken hold of it and falls into a control habit. This is something that plagues many relationships. When does one partner become the owner? I will use that word because it shows possession and control. This happens because it can. Some one has allowed this ownership to take place. STOP allowing this, please. A partnership, relationship, commitment, whatever you want to call it, is an EQUAL understanding of respect and love. There are no owners and no bosses. No one is above the other. Man should respect woman and vice-verse. This is a must in order to make a relationship strong enough to not allow negative habits any control.

When there are no negative habits, there is no walking on eggshells. How much more simpler can it get. We are an intelligent species, so let us act intelligent when we decide to commit to another person. This is two lives we are dealing with here, not just another Hollywood movie. We are all going to age and all of us are going to notice our body parts going south. Guess what, no one is above that law. When you have found a true love, and are willing to invest your life with that person, please do not allow material things or negative fantasy ideals to come between you. It really is not worth it.

When you feel unsure of something ,or you feel negative emotions taking control of your mind, reach out to your partner. Don't walk on egg shells. Do not turn it into a war against your partner. Use all of your love to fight the negative relationship habits. Love is worth it. We all have our good and bad days. Some have more than others. So when it's a good day, then make it a really good day. Those are always remembered the longest. Don't walk on egg shells. We have to love ourselves first, then and only then can we love another!

Tell each other often what you saw in each other, what you see now.

Being reminded why we are "The One" helps us to act that way.

-Toni Sciarra Poynter


Dorothy Lafrinere
Owner/Operator
Website- http://www.womensselfesteem.com
Weblog- http://www.justblogme.com/Dorothy
Forum- http://womenselfesteem.proboards29.com
email- dorothy@womensselfesteem.com

This post was made using the Auto Blogging Software from WebMagnates.org This line will not appear when posts are made after activating the software to full version.

Walls Of Communication!

Matters of the heart are a true mystery to all involved. In order to make a commitment to a relationship, it takes strength and trust in another. When we trust our partner and we receive trust back, it is a very nice feeling. One should never betray or play games with that trust. Those games usually get caught, and a broken trust will surely create a huge wall of communication breakdown. When you truly trust another, you are opening your heart and mind to an outsider. You are at this time very vulnerable for just about any kind of emotional attack. Confusion and misunderstandings are amongst those emotions now.

This is why communication is so important. It is the key to opening all those doors. Without it, the doors will remained locked and one will have to work very hard to break through. It is much more productive to just talk, listen, and understand your partner. I am not saying that this will be easy, but with love in your heart, it can be done. The end results will definitely be more lasting. For every forced door, there will be a negative memory to try to bypass in the future. When doors are open with love, patience and respect, they will have only good memories to savour and smile upon in the future. Those are extremely important in tearing down those walls.

Communication is a very important act between two people. It even has more importance than sex to keep a relationship building stronger. In order to to communicate, it takes two willing and open minds. If one mind is closed, all that will happen is the other will grow in confusion and frustration.

Some of us worry about the ABC`s in life and others worry about the EF&G`s in life. Thats OK. It is what adds to the color to our black and white life with each other. Yes it would be easier if we all worried and thought about things equally. It would be less confusing. But only for a short time. Soon enough our complacency with each other would get "OLD". It would be as if we could read each others minds, but what would be the point if we thought and worried the same.

A little bit of controversy is a much needed thing in a relationship. It helps us to get to know another part of our partner and also our own selves. When we open our hearts to another, only then will we offer this part of us. Until then it isn't necessary. One very important thing about a person sharing their inner most fears and disappointments is never, ever, try to stifle that person or walk away in frustration. If someone is that open with you, embrace it and hear them out. Never belittle their concerns as being immature or nonsensical because you would never have those concerns. Remember the ABC`s, we all think differently. Only then can you both communicate, otherwise you will add another block to the wall of communication breakdown.

When we are forced into silence, we begin to build walls. If we are not allowed to voice our inner feelings or disappointments, we will quickly stop trying to communicate forever. Once the first brick has then been set, the foundation of the wall to communication breakdown will rise up very fast. Trust me, there is not a single relationship that does not carry or tear down a brick to the wall of communication.

There are many levels of relationships. Some of us are put into situations that take much courage to see past our hurts and disappointments. Just remember what brought your relationship together in the beginning. Many times we will be forced to return to page one and start from there. With open minds and nonjudgmental hearts we can get past many mistakes and problems that will arise in a relationship.

Another favorite, but not so good habit that we as humans create, is to regurgitate things over and over again. I use the word "regurgitate", because that's how I view having things being tossed back in your face. Have you ever noticed that another lovely habit (NOT) that we as humans have is to only dig up the dirt when we are in the heat of anger? We do this time and time again, because we already know that these things are a guaranteed hit. It is a very cheap and bullish way to try to win a conversation. Is that not what most communication breakdowns are? Conversation wars that end up shooting old ammunition back and forth at one another? The problem there is that noone ever wins that battle. All that is really happening is that both parties have just taken an equal part in adding more blocks to the wall of communication breakdown. Both sides lose.

Communication can only really work when neither party is being selfish, meaning that if one person is feeling that they are being attacked with every word that is coming their way, and it is all about hurting them. They have automatically closed an open door without even realizing it. Low self-esteem will surely make a person feel this way. Or if one partner gets carried away and will not stop to let the other party absorb what was just said, this too is a typical selfish act. That is why it is important that we take turns with each other and try to understand what is actually being said.
If one partner misunderstands, and you are aware of that, then you are responsible to stop and work with them in a loving manner to get them to open that door. It is vital to not assume anything until the other person has completely finished.

This is why the power of writing is so productive. One person writes his/her thoughts down, uninterrupted, without fear of being derailed from their thoughts and with the ability to just get it all of their chest, so to speak. People pay big bucks to be told just this, so listen up! If you find that your wall of communication breakdown is starting to build, then this habit of writing letters to each other is a very good way to bypass the wall.

Always reread your letter before handing it over. That too helps you to maybe erase a thought or two that was purely emotional when writing it. We all know that old saying, "I did`t mean that, I was just upset at the time". Well there's a hind site tip for all of us struggling with that d**n wall of communication breakdown.

Do you ever feel that you are so far under that wall, that you will never be able to communicate with your partner again and just want to run away? Before you run away, think about exactly what and why you are running from. Are you running from a partner that could very well be the best thing that ever happened to you? Or are you in fact running away from your own issues that you refuse to deal with? Remember this, if it is your own demons that you fear, you will run forever. You will never be happy. You will always blame your relationship or your partner for your downfalls. Running away is a cop out. It is a true weakness in character. To stay and fight and trust that your partner will understand your troubles is a true sign of courage and one that will be greatly respected.

We all have our pasts. We must understand that yes, they did happen and that is what they are, past issues. To have your past continue to come between yourself and your partner is a bad thing. Whether it is a person or just an experience, it should be left in the past. This is where good communication comes to the rescue yet again. When we are made aware of certain issues in our partners pasts, it sometimes makes them easier to understand and deal with if they happen to come about again. If we are left in the dark and we have to meet up with another's past and it is not a very good experience, we will be weak in defense and our ability to communicate positively will be almost non-existent.

Some people fear their partners pasts, viewing them as a threat to their own relationship. This is normal and should be dealt with through love and understanding. Again we must communicate with each other and not look down on anyone for their honesty and true fears.

That wall of communication breakdown will never completely come down if we skip a few blocks and ignore them, or handle them so wrong that they double in size. A good strong relationship will endure most any mistake made by humans as long as both partners are willing and honest with each other.

********************************************

"To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others."

- Anthony Robbins

"Words are a wonderful form of communication, but they will never replace kisses and hugzzz"

-Dorothy

"Some think that love is all flowers and good times, but I think that love is more than just that. Love is the bad, as well as the better, not lived alone, but a journey together. Something that only the closest can share, with communication, respect,"

-Anonymous

Dorothy Lafrinere
Owner/Operator
Website- http://www.womensselfesteem.com
Weblog- http://www.justblogme.com/Dorothy
Forum- http://womenselfesteem.proboards29.com
email- dorothy@womensselfesteem.com

This post was made using the Auto Blogging Software from WebMagnates.org This line will not appear when posts are made after activating the software to full version.

To Trust or not to Trust !

Trust is something we learn as very small babies. We trust the first person that we bond with and it grows from there. Have you ever noticed how cool kids are? They trust every little thing we say. They rarely question us when we tell them something.

Believing our every word; and why not? They have not been exposed to mistrust yet, not that they would recognize it at such an early age.

Then they get older and come in contact with other children. This is when relationships begin., seperate from the familiar family relationships that they have grown to know as "normal". They begin to compare lifestyles with their friends and for some, this is when the first mistrust begins. They find out that it is not normal to be touched by people in their private parts. They find out that it is not normal to be beaten for doing something wrong. They find out that it is not normal to not be fed for a day or even two. They find that it is not normal to watch their dad hit their mom. They find lies, which gives birth to MISTRUST. Their lives turn an entire chapter at that point. They grow up somehow; suffering through the pain and loneliness of living with mistrust. For some they rise above it and use it as a learning tool. For others they become it; mistrusting everyone and everything. A small number of those people seek help and spend many hours and a great deal of energy trying to conquer it.

Then we have our jobs, we trust immediately anyone that has been there longer or that comes off as knowing more than us. We trust our bosses and our co-workers.

It is natural to trust as if we were babies all over again. With any new venture we yearn to trust.

When we first fall in love; What is that saying, "Love is Blind"? Ha! Now that's funny, because it really is blind. We trust so instantly and genuinely that we potentially set ourselves up for the biggest fall in our lives. Why is that? Is it because we are so driven by nature to want to trust someone? Or is trusting someone just a happier, easier, way of life.

Once a trust is breached, it creates a scar that has it's own heart and never goes away. We just learn to ignore its beat. We try to reorganize our minds and put it on the farthest burner we have. Some of us can do just that, while others cannot. For them life is not so easy. They find themselves thinking, should I trust or not? It's like they have to find proof and reason to trust, because their minds already mistrust. This is similar to the term "Guilty until proven innocent". For anyone out there that can relate to that, and I am sure there are many of you that do just that, life is hell.

If, lets say we love someone and they tell us one thing, and we keep getting mixed signals that stir up our mistrust thoughts, where do we go with that? Books tell us, that we are to trust the ones we love and that's it. And then, if our trust gets breached, and only then, can we be accurate with our mistrust. "Blah" I say! Oh and we're also told at the same time to trust our gut feelings. OK, I admit confusion here. I know this subject is really going to cut like a knife for some people and I will apologize now, but we have to deal with the reality of our lives. How else are we going to tackle our insecurities and get stronger. Our goal is to have a somewhat happy life. One that we can talk about to our grandchildren. We have to open our eyes and know what is going on in our wolds. If your relationship has had a breach of trust or if you have experienced mistrust earlier in your lives, then you already have a reason to feel insecure. Now that you know that, you can start to build up on that. Now you need to identify the exact core of it and toss it. Its old news and its over.

Start a whole new life as if being born again (for lack of a better phrase). I hear you already saying, "Easier said than done". I totally agree, but how many times have I said, "Anything worth having , does not come easy"? The answer is MANY. Life is not easy. We have to earned all our happiness. I have noticed, and I am guilty of this myself, that we are waiting for our lives to be happy. I have been doing a lot of thinking lately about happiness and if I have realized anything at all, its that happiness is in you and your thinking and how you deal with every little thing. To Trust or not to Trust is in our control. If we choose not to trust, we open the door to all sorts of evil demons, such as jealousy, low self-esteem, anxiety, envy, selfishness, self-torture, worry, loneliness and just plain unhappiness. So when we feel that , "Trust or not trust" debate lurking in our minds, choose to not allow your mind to go that direction. Tell yourself, that you are an intelligent person and you know what is right and what is wrong right now. It'is now that you are living, not then, or the past. We are very good at deciding what we want to eat, right? Or where we want to vacation and spend tons of our hard earned money. So then why is it so hard for us to just change our train of thought? Let me tell you..HABITS!

Bad habits, and for any of you that have read my HABITS blog, then you know what I mean. So go back and read it again and again. I believe that if one really wants to change something, it CAN be changed. "Let your thoughts determine your goals and your goals determine your destiny" (something like that). We are all destined to be happy. We just have to focus on our goals.

Feeling mistrust definitely has been caused by something in our lives. We may never figure it out and some of us have already figured their reasons out. But for whatever the reason, it is a negative emotion and one we can surely do without. Work on it, then work on more trust and more love. When we can trust, love comes naturally and that always invites happiness. So there you have it! I have given you the steps; it is your responsibility to you to climb them. Again I have shared my thoughts with all of you. I would love to hear your thoughts, on anything I have shared with you here.

I take responsibility for my life.
I have the power to make things better.
I always have a choice.

This post was made using the Auto Blogging Software from WebMagnates.org This line will not appear when posts are made after activating the software to full version.