Showing posts with label Friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Friends. Show all posts

Friday, October 14, 2011

Are Friends Happy Being With You?


We all have different style of talking, laughing, smiling, responding and communicating. Some of us are a comfort for others. We enjoy being with some people and we don enjoy some people. What is the difference between these persons? Why one persons presence enlivens the gathering an other person dulls it? What are the qualities needed to make one self socially popular?

Smile -The very first quality is smile. When we see some body smiling, we feel pleased. And if the smile is without any malice it is more enchanting. Keep smiling. Keep your problems with yourself and keep your face smiling.

Listening - when we don speak but only listen, people love us. All of us have our own problems and need somebody to listen to us. Become a good listener. Ask open ended question such as - and after that? Why? And so on. That will encourage the speaker to pour out all to you.

Have something funny to say - There is enough pain in the world. Bring in some laughter. Have a collection of jokes and make your friends laugh. The more they laugh, the more they will enjoy your company.

Appreciate - have a word of appreciation for everyone. You can appreciate some body clothes, or shoes or what ever. Appreciate. Make friends feel good.

To be friendly and to be charming is not an art. It can be easily developed by all of us. The only need is to pay less attention to our self and more to others. Make friends happy and they will love your presence. Make your presence the life of any gathering. Success is yours.



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Thursday, October 6, 2011

What to Do When Your Spouse or Your Friends are Negative?


This year (2004), I've completed over 64 seminars. And one of the most common questions asked is, "What do I do when my spouse, partner or friend is being negative?"

As you practice Law of Attraction in your life, you become more aware of what you are attracting and start to understand that you can control what you attract with deliberate use of Law of Attraction. The more deliberate you become in controlling what you want to attract, the less and less tolerant you become of any situation that doesn't feel good---in particular, negative relationships in your life.
But what do you do when the person who is being negative is your partner, spouse or child? It's not likely you will just eliminate them from your life altogether. How can you deal with a situation that is contaminating your positive energy with negative energy?

First of all, I'd like you to remember that it takes two people to argue or fight and you always have a choice about what you choose to talk about. When you are with your mate, or friend or child and they are complaining about something they don't like or telling you how much their life isn't working in some respect, you always have two choices:

1) You can buy into their conversation, join it and thereby lower your vibration to match theirs; or

2) You can steer the conversation in a direction that creates change in the vibration

How do you steer a conversation into a more positive vibration? It's quite simple; just ask the question, "So what do you want?" That question may surprise them because they are not used to answering it. They may even have some resistance. But keep asking it. When they do answer, you'll soon hear their words change and see how the change of words always creates a change in their vibration. The best news of all is that a person can only hold one vibration at a time.

Yes, we all have negative people in our lives, but now you have a tool to use when you feel your positive energy becoming affected by anyone's negative energy. From now on, your experiences with negative people can be different!

Here's your assignment! Write the question, "So what do you want?" on post-it notes and put them by your phone, on your fridge and on your bathroom mirror. This is a powerful tool that delivers rapid change!



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Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Tips For Finding Penpal Friends


Penpal friends generally find one another through a service which can be either online or in a magazine. They list their interests, a brief description of themselves which includes gender and age and they are either matched with someone they will be compatible with or they choose their own pen friend.

Some penpal matching services are based on common goals or beliefs. The people joining want to find a friend they can write to who sees the world the same way they do.

Before the advent of the internet many people worldwide would instant message each other in an entirely different way. They were penpal friends and although they shared much of the same information we do today with online buddies, their method of communication was significantly slower.

Penpals can live thousands of miles apart and begin a dialogue which will include everything from family members to the political systems of their countries.

Decades ago penpal friends were all the rage with teenagers. They would find a friend somewhere else in the world and then spend hours writing handwritten letters and mailing them via the post office to one another. In some cases it took weeks to get a reply but a big part of the experience was awaiting the letters.

Many penpals would include photographs of themselves so that the other person could get a better sense of who they were corresponding with. Gifts would even be exchanged even though the two people had never met one another. Their connection was real though and they enjoyed it very much.

It wasn uncommon for people who wrote one another back and forth to continue the practice for years sharing milestones such as birthdays, graduations and even marriages.

Penpals often care deeply for one another they laugh and cry with them. Share in the best moments of life and comfort them through the worst. The procedures may have changed over time, but pen friends still exist and people from one corner of the globe can meet and develop a friendship with someone thousands of miles away all through the use of the written word.

Many penpal friends would talk on the telephone and eventually meet forging lifelong friendships. Today the experience is more high tech and the letters can be sent within seconds via email. It easy for someone in Europe to send a note to someone in North America and receive a reply back within moments. The information sharing is quicker and although the letters are typed on a keyboard and read across a screen, the emotions born from that are real.



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Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Turning Strangers Into Friends


Do you find it easy to make conversation with new people youe just met? Or does the thought of trying to make conversation with someone new make you break out in a cold sweat?

If you don feel comfortable making casual conversation with new people you have just met, you will find it harder to make new friends. You will also find it more difficult to fit in at your work place.

One of the most common reasons that people have difficulty making conversation with someone they don know very well is because they put too much pressure on themselves.

They think they have to really put up a great performance to impress the other person. They don just let themselves just be ordinary, and talk about fairly ordinary things.

Here a very important lesson to learn about making conversation with people: When you insisting to yourself that you have to be brilliant and dazzling in all your conversations this belief will not win you new friends. It will not even improve your conversational performance.

When you think to yourself that you have to perform perfectly in all your conversations, you will actually make your performance worse! You will become too nervous and awkward, and youl be too focused on your own performance. You won be focused on getting to know the new person youe just met.

New people that you meet are not looking for brilliant conversation. What they are looking for is someone who will be comfortable to be with, and fun to talk to. But most of all they are looking for someone who seems interested in them!

For conversational success, it more important to be a good listener than to be a great talker.

When you are just starting out talking to a person, you can use your immediate surroundings or the weather as a basis for a few starting remarks.

If you want to know that person better, move on quickly to a slightly more personal level of discussion. Ask a few basic questions and offer a little bit of information about yourself, your likes or dislikes, or your opinion on some neutral topic. Notice whether the other person lights up with interest about any topics you mention.

This can give you new interesting areas for both of you to discuss.
Even if it seems somewhat difficult and awkward for you in the beginning, develop the habit of introducing yourself to others as soon as you meet them, or very early in the conversation. Otherwise you could spend hours talking and neither of you will have any idea of what your conversation partner name is.

Socially confident people introduce themselves to their conversation partners very early in the course of conversation. People who are shy or socially awkward tend to introduce themselves much later, or not at all. Shy people often wait until someone asks for their name, but they rarely volunteer to give it, and they rarely ask the other person what their name is.

Sometimes it is easier to ask the other person for their name first, and then offer your own. If you practice the new behavior enough times, it will eventually become second nature to you. With enough practice, it will no longer seem intimidating to take a more active role.

The important thing is simply to develop the habit of starting simple little conversations with lots more people. Look for the interests you have in common.

If you want to be more socially successful, take the initiative to introduce yourself to new people and to get the conversational ball rolling. Don hold back and let other people make all the first moves. If you have been holding back, waiting for other people to do all the work in the relationship, you are shirking your responsibility in making the relationship move forward.

Show interest in other people. Smile. Listen. Look at the person youe talking with..

Whenever you start talking to new people, don strive for great dialogue, or the perfect opening lines. Just get started, and keep on talking. Practice making conversations with a lot of new people. You will eventually get better at it.

Don decide that youe a failure if the encounter doesn turn into a great friendship. After all, the truth is that the majority of conversations between new people don really go anywhere. That all right. It takes time and effort to turn casual strangers into friends.

Remember, that all of the friends you already have were strangers to you at one point in your life. Until you started talking and found out what you have in common.

Learning how to make conversation with people you don know well can be the first step in making many new friends.



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Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Are You Lovable?


This looks like an awkward question. We will confess that he/she is not lovable? But the truth is that many of us are not lovable at all. Can you imagine of a small kid? A kid is always lovable. Why? If we can answer that question, we will solve the puzzle about whether we are lovable or not.

A kid is innocent. Knows nothing and is totally defenseless. You love a kid, because he/ she wants you to protect him/her. You love a kid because of innocence. You love the kid because of the smiling face. You love the kid because the kid has no malice towards anyone. Does not desire any thing bad for any one. Recognizes no enemies and has faith in everyone. The kid is totally free of all negative emotions. That is why we all love a kid.

How many of us are like that? How many of us keep a smile on our face forever? How many of us are free of negative emotions? Not many. Agreed that we are grown ups and can not be like a kid. But surely we can borrow some good qualities from the kid. How about forgiving everyone? How about not getting angry at all? How about having faith in everyone unless proven otherwise? How about loving everyone? How about becoming non judgmental?

Once we acquire some of these qualities, we will become lovable. Believe me that it is that simple. All of your friends and colleagues will begin liking you more. You will get love from unexpected quarters. You will get your dream darling in a little time, after you transform yourself.



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Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Are You Too Busy for Friendship?


If you currently feel that you don have enough friends in your life, one reason may be that you have let yourself become too busy to make time for the relationships you already have.

Nurturing and maintaining friendships requires effort and commitment. Many of us let our lives become so busy with work and other commitments that we don get around to scheduling time for pleasure and renewal with the friends, relatives and acquaintances we already have.

Making the effort to call your friends more regularly, and to accept more of the invitations you receive from others, can improve your social life in a hurry!

Are there any people you could call right now and be assured of a pleasant welcome? Are these people that you could count on to help you in a crisis? Can you have close talks with them? Do you have fun when you are together? Are you happy to have them in your life?

If you haven seen much of them lately, is it because you have become too busy? Have you grown apart? Was there an argument?

If the main reason you haven been getting together with the people you already know is because you have gotten too busy, take a good look at how you spend your time. Compare it with your real values and priorities in life. Is your hectic lifestyle really bringing you the quality of life that you want?

If you have become too busy for friends, why has this happened? Are you pursuing material toys in your life at the expense of relationships with other human beings? Have you allowed your time to be over-committed because you never say o?to anyone? Do you insist on doing things yourself that could be delegated to others? If so, why? Do you believe that everything depends on you?

Examine whether the way you are currently spending your time accurately reflects your deepest values and priorities. Make sure that you schedule adequate time for the things that are truly most important to you.

If you really want to keep friends in your life, make a space in your schedule, and a space in your heart for them.



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Friday, September 16, 2011

Zigime - connecting people to the world.


Zigime can be an excellent way for friends and family members to stay in touch. Encouraging friends and family members to join zigime with you can help you to stay in better contact with these individuals. Communicating through zigime is a lot of fun and gives users the ability to post pictures, audio, video, jobs, events, mail, classifieds and barter in addition to personal information presented in a blog even on free accounts.





Visiting the ZigiMe websites of your friends, and can also help you to meet more interesting individuals on Zigime. Those who you already consider to be friends likely share some of your interests. Many internet users feel free to express their opinions online than they do in face to face meetings.They are more likely to be interested in attending your meeting if it takes place in a public location because they will feel more comfortable. Friends who have wonderful relationships through zigime may find their relationship falters when they actually meet in person.





ZigiMe can also be used to make business Networking. The search feature can be used to find others who share your business interests, dreams and goals. Zigime help you build your business by generating professional business leads and referral systems. ZigiMe provide barter services, you also create new business contacts and references. ZigiMe barter helps you find what you need and barter services!" News and advice for job seeker. Search your jobs in friend networking site. Search by Category, Experience, Keyword, and location.





My friends My World are a new way to organize showing my friends and overall users. The friends map on zigime.com is a feature offering powerful, user-friendly mapping technology to see where all of your friends are located around the world.





With the My Friends My World, you'll enjoy the following unique features:



Find your friends - By clicking on any country on the map, you'll be taken to their locations on the map. It shows male friends,female friends and both separately in the list box You can also click on any of the user to see which friend is where. Not only friends even all people who have joined in zigime.







* zigime is a worldwide friendship network.





* People can come an meet new friends or find old ones.





* Easy way to share digital photos, videos, jobs, events and music.





* users can create own custom profile.





*Design your own profile page with the background and colors you want using either CSS or the editor provided for you by zigime.





About Author:



Hybrid Nova is a company that specializes in providing social networking, business networking, entertainment, and services in a concerted effort to capitalize on the huge growth in this industry and continues to experience. We provide many excellent affordable and free services that are presented in an exciting environment for young professionals of all ages. On the forefront, it is Hybrid Nova dedication to the rapidly growing industry of online business networking that will propel us into a premier position as an industry leader. Whether it branding your business, seeking a new job or new employer, bartering services goods, organizing your office with the latest technology available, or simply making new friends and business contacts on the international level. Hybrid Nova has all the tools and user friendly functionally necessary for the needs of almost any business or individual.



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Thursday, September 15, 2011

What to Do When People Don't Like You


Have you been trying hard to make friends with no good results to show for all of your efforts?

If it seems that you have been trying hard to make friends, but that other people still don want to be your friend, you may have come to the conclusion that there something wrong with you. That maybe you are basically unlikeable.

Many of us go through such torment of self doubt, especially during our teenage years, when teens are often the victims of vicious bullying from their peers for no reason at all.

If you feel as if the people you are trying to befriend don like you, the first thing you must do is to ask yourself: Do you have any real evidence that others don like you?

Or are you just imagining the worst because you are always very harsh with yourself?

People who have low self-esteem, or who are suffering from depression, are often convinced that others don like them, even when there is no evidence for their negative belief. People who have a poor self image can be surrounded by others who like them, care about them, and enjoy their company; yet because these people don believe they are worthy of being liked, they are convinced that no one else likes them either.

So, if you are feeling as if nobody likes you, try to find out if there is some real evidence that others don like you, or whether you are just being very negative in your opinion of yourself.

On the other hand, there are times when it not just your imagination that others don like you. It might be really true that most of the people you meet are consistently rejecting you, even when you make social overtures and try to be as friendly to them as possible.

There are many reasons this can happen.

You may have moved to a society where the people are very tight knit with each other, and they don open up to newcomers easily.

You might be surrounded by people who automatically dislike people of your particular religion, ethnic background, sexual orientation, skin color, or bodily appearance.

You may be surrounded by people who reject you because the clothes you wear are not the latest and most expensive fashion.

In high school years in particular, many teens are strongly conformist, and can be very cruel to those who seem to be different from the norm. Sadly, some people never grow out of the stage of judging others for trivial and superficial reasons.

If you are really are being rejected by others, it is important that you don make the situation worse by attacking yourself.

This will only make you feel worse, and will make you lose confidence in approaching new people in the future.

Saying negative things to yourself could start you on a downward spiral of self-doubt and self-hatred. Or you might turn your anger outwards in a spirit of bitterness and revenge towards other people. This is not a solution that will win you friends or peace of mind.

It also important to take a good, hard look at yourself and the way that you interact with other people. There may be specific behaviors that are causing others to dislike you, and these are behaviors which you can change.

Ask yourself the questions on this checklist. If it looks as if any of these behaviors are a problem for you, it very likely that if you change this behavior, that other people will like you better.

1. Are you always very negative and complaining all the time? Most people find this habit very annoying.

2. Do you actively participate in conversations with others? Or do you hold back and let other people do all the work in making conversation. If so, learn to improve your conversational skills so that talking with you is an experience that others look forward to.

3. Do you endlessly talk about yourself and show little interest in the people you are talking with? Other people will become bored with you very quickly if you seem only interested in yourself.

4. Do you try too hard to please others, always agreeing with everything that they say, and never having any opinions of your own? People won respect you if you don respect yourself.

5. Do you often say things that hurt the feelings of others and then say it was just a joke? Do you say mean things behind other people backs? No one will trust you if they think that you are basically an unkind person.

If you want to make other people your friends, it very important that you don give up on trying. Keep approaching people, keep trying to make conversation. Get rid of your bad social habits if they are getting in the way of friendship.

If you are being given the cold shoulder by many of the people you encounter, particularly in your school or workplace, keep looking elsewhere for people you can confide in and befriend. You can try in your church, in your community, and in your own family.

Work on developing the talents and good qualities within yourself so that you can appeal in a new way to other people with whom you will have more in common. Continue to actively search out other people who will like you and accept you.



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Who Wants to Live in a Time Bomb


Here are a few reasons why you do not want to move in with a friend and some personal experiences from when I lived with my 2 best friends.





Personal Space and Quiet time:



When living with friends you will not have any privacy or quiet time, and the closer the friends you are the worse it will be. You may not realize it now but you are not always in the mood to be with your friends sometimes you may want to just sit in your room and relax, and if a friend called you up you could say you were busy but if you live with a friend they will be knocking on the door and bothering you all the time, and good friends will often borrow things of yours without asking you. Where as someone you found online will usually leave you alone when your door is closed except for something important.





My old roommate would always go into my room to borrow my things no matter how much I asked her not to, and every time I asked she would get insulted because it was her so it should be ok with me.





Finances:



The reason why you moved in to an apartment is because you needed help being able to afford your expenses, and someone you don’t know will usually be more responsible with making sure they have the money to bay their half of the bills then a friend will, a friend will ask you to help them out when they are short on cash.





One of my friends would always spend his rent or bill money in online casinos playing blackjack, or in poker rooms online. I like to play some poker online just as much as anyone else but I always made sure to not gamble in an online casino with my rent money. If I was short on money I would not gamble, but I would never allow myself to not have the money to pay my share of the bills.





Cleaning of the Shared Spaces:



In the past roommates I had found in the news paper always made sure that any space we shared like the kitchen or living room was kept clean. If you cooked something any mess was cleaned from the counter and pots, pans and plates would be put in the sink and were taken care of within 12 hours, but friends may take advantage of the slack you will give to a friend, because they know you would be ok with it.





One friend of mine hated anything being left in the sink for any amount of time and if it was left fore more then an hr or 2 she would complain, so me and my other roommate started cleaning the dishes as soon as we were done with them, only to find that she would leave her dishes sometimes for days and when questioned about it she said that her seeing our dishes bothered her but her dishes did not bother her so it was ok for her to leave them.





Power Consumption:



Unless your roommate has lots of money and lets face it if they had cash they would not need a roommate, then they will be looking to save money and not want to waste money on electricity, and once you agree on things like using the dryer or air conditioning two roommates who meet online or from an add in the paper will usually respect the rules better then two friends will. Friends will usually bend the rules, like leaving the computer on all day or running the ac all night.





My friends used to leave their Air conditionings on all day long and would often leave their rooms and even the apartment without turning them off, and instead of being more responsible for their actions they would make up excuses like "oops I forgot".





These are just some of the many reasons you should avoid living with friends, especially if you want to keep them as friends. It is one thing if a friend needs a place to stay for a week or two but never ever let them move in.



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Sunday, October 26, 2008

Friendship Day Reunion With Old Friends

The most memorable moment in life is when you meet old friends whom you had lost touch midway in the journey of life. You will be overwhelmed with the feeling of emotional detachment, realizing how much you have been missing him or her all these years. Having them around will remind you of all those golden moments that you spent together in the rain, amidst the morning mist or under the scorching sun. It will remind you of those golden moments of sharing lunch together and exchanging your friendship bands.



Friendship day is just around the corner and you can plan for a grand reunion and arrange for a rocking get together with all your old friends on Friendship Day 2007. Celebrate your reunion with enthusiasm full to the brink. Share all your emotions that you had stored for them for this long span of time. So just go ahead with your plan for celebrating a reunion on this Friendship Day and make the day an unforgettable episode of your life. All you need to do is gather all the contact details of your old friends and kick start the exciting venture.
Collect The Contact Details
This era of technology has made it a lot easier for you to reach out to your lost friends instantly with your plan. Take out some time from your leisure moments and sit with all your old notebooks, dairies and arrangers. Take out all the phone numbers, email addresses, and mailing address of all those golden people whose memories have been haunting you since years. Get the information noted down carefully on a piece of paper.
Contact Them
An amazing way to bring them closer once again after such a long span of time is to send them cute ecards through email wishing them all the good wishes and heart felt love. Remember that every good thing in life begins with love and hope. Always go for any of the free ecard sites. 123greetings.com is one of the most genuine sites that strike my mind at this moment. You can find wondrous assortment of free ecards – animated or non-animated, musical or non-musical that may prove to be the perfect choice for you to embark on such an exciting venture. Do not forget to write briefly about your plan.
You will be amazed to find that the majority of your friends have answered but do not feel depressed, when you find that someone's email ID does not exist. You can make a telephone call and strike him or her with a sudden wonder. Let them know about your plan and be sure that they cannot afford to loose the opportunity of having a great fun with old friends on this Friendship Day.
Pre-Friendship Day meeting
Arrange for a meeting with friends who stays nearby and who would want to take part in the meeting. This is the most vital part of the story. This get together is not for a regular party. Enjoy the day with a friendly meeting and planning for the reunion celebration on the Friendship Day. Share your thought about the celebration and together come up with a solid decision.
Let The Others Know
One more simple step is left yet. When everything has been finalized inform all other friends about the decision that has been taken in the meeting. Inform them about the venue, time and your plan. Now you are almost done.
Stay in touch with your friends and wait for the day to come. It is on the first Sunday of August and hence every single person is anticipated to join this grand reunion party. Keep yourself prepared before hand with your camera loaded and some extra film and a few dry cells.
If you want to surprise your friends on this Friendship Day by giving small gifts to each one of them start planning now and get them prepared, lest you do not make hast at the end and end up things stupidly. Budgeting is an essential part to be considered.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Somebody Who Understands You

Do you have someone who can feel the pain in your eyes? Do you have someone who can understand the ache of your heart? Do you have someone who can understand your misery? Do you have someone who can understand your helplessness? Do you have someone who can wipe your tears? Do you have someone who will not ask you not to cry, but will give you a shoulder to cry upon? Do you have someone who waits for you? Do you have someone who keeps awake with you? Do you have someone who will talk to people on your behalf? Do you have someone who will feel the pain of your life? Do you have someone who knows that you don't want to live, but are forced to live? Do you have a true companion? Before we proceed further, let us find more about what is living, and why we need someone who understands us? Please view these screensavers - Friendship Connecting with people
I am not talking only about a wife or a husband or a friend or a companion? Anyone it can be. But do you have someone who understands you and who is with you always? If yes, you are a very lucky person. God has given you all the luck you wanted. Because getting a person like what I talked above is very difficult. You will rather find that during your time of hardships, pains and misery, you are alone. No one will understand your actions or motives. They will argue with you. They will suggest you. But they will not be with you. You will have to face your misery all alone and on that day, you will cry for someone who understands you.
You will not get that person. Your beating heart may stop with the pain. People will gather to bury you. But no one will help you live, when you wanted. That time you will probably thank death for getting you away from this world of loneliness.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Friends and Lovers




Can friends be lovers? Can lovers be friends? Can I still befriend my "Ex"? Those are the questions that my favorite cousin threw me. Interesting questions, but I initially found myself dumbfounded. Probably because my thoughts were focused on family matters and motherhood that questions about friends and lovers are unexpected.
But then after contemplating the question, I can't help but smile. It brings back memories when my hubby and I were just friends and eventually became lovers. Falling in love with each other was really unexpected, but it just happened. It was like magic as we always say. But then, it also brings me back to the time when I was on that stage of uncertainty and fears. I also had that fear of losing a friend or should I say a lover and a friend if the relationship doesn't work.
I'm not an expert in the matters of the heart, but let me share my thoughts and realizations based on my experiences.
'Falling in love' with a friend is all but natural especially when you are in your teens. Of course, the more you associate with a person, the more you feel closer and the more that you long for the friend of yours to be always around. Every little kind act would mean a lot to you. The answer in the question "Can lovers be friends?" is obvious. Of course, you can. But you have to weigh things out first and carefully assess your feeling before moving into that level.
When I was younger, I have had hidden admiration and affection with some of my guy friends. There were even times when I thought I was falling in love with them, but I decided to keep that to myself and pretend that such feeling doesn't exist. Some of them courted me and some just treated me in a special way. Though the feelings are mutual then, I decided to ignore the feeling and remain just friends because I believe it was better that way.
'I would rather not have a boyfriend than to lose a good friend' was my philosophy in life then. For such a long time I lived by that principle. That principle was broken though when I entered into a relationship with my friend, now my husband, Rouel. I was hesitant and was full of doubts about its outcome. There were lots of trials along the way. It was actually like a roller-coaster ride, but our love and trust with each other prevailed.
Others may have a different story and a not-so-happy ending. It doesn't depend on the strength of your love alone though it is very important. There are other factors to be considered such as acceptance, timing, maturity, and fidelity.
Whether lovers can still be friends after the break-up depends a great deal on the cause of the break-up and the level of maturity of both parties. If it was a mutual decision and both of you just realized that you were simply not meant for each other, being friends again is not unlikely. You must also check your motives in befriending your Ex. Granted that you don't have a hidden agenda, you should not expect that you will be as close as before especially when one or both of you found another partner. The fact that you've been lovers will always haunt your present relationships.
There may be downsides in being friends and then lovers when the relationship failed, but I think it is still worth a try if you truly love each other, you're both matured to face all its consequences and you are both unattached. Talking from experience, it's great to have a husband and a friend rolled into one.
Adora C. Ganir
dadbytes.blogspot.com

Monday, July 7, 2008

7 Ways to His Heart - "How to Use Your Imagination to Keep Him Close"

Does religious guilt suppress women's sexuality? In the words of political analyst Debbie Taylor, "religious beliefs had little or no effect on a man's sexual pleasure, but could slice as powerfully as a circumcision knife into a woman's enjoyment, not to mention undermining with guilt and shame any pleasure she might otherwise experience."
Forgive me when I say it - because I really don't want you to know it, but I remember when the era of Flower Power was popular culture, and love was the catchword of the hour, and sex, the expression of sex, sensuality, frivolity, and playfulness were in vogue.
Men grew their hair long and adorned their bodies, highlighting a feminine side that they could explore because women were not yet thinking about their own freedom. Though they appropriated girl's pleasures, it was still a boy's party.
Today it's very different. Women are driven to desire, and are desired. They're open and ready to rekindle romance by taking their man on a magical mystery tour of the mind and body, having utilized every sense of her imagination.
Admittedly, there are some who say putting forth such energy to please a man isn't anything nearly so serious or important, and it should be appalling to those of us whom find that a healthy, sexy, romantic relationship is the source of life and the wings of romance, and of love.
There are several wonderful books out there, which can guide you down the right path to an active imagination for romance, but for now allow me to plague your thoughts with a few quick sexy sensual tips to use now.
1. Bring Out Your Inner Tomboy Perhaps you're like me - extremely feminine - wearing stockings and garters with stiletto high hill shoes, and your best dress when you go on a date, while making certain the make-up is flawlessly executed. Whether they admit it or not, men love this about women - being with an attractive woman is not only appealing to him but it reflects well on him. If you really want to keep him close, reveal your inner tomboy and muck in and out of the dirt while planting flowers, or get your hands dirty while helping him to change the oil in the car. He's sure to love it.
2. Seduce Him With a Surprise We all need some routine in our lives, as it helps us to meet all our responsibilities, but it's also important to show the man in your life, that being with you isn't dull and boring. Often time's women assume that the man has to provide the romantic surprises in the relationship. Turn the table and do something completely out of the ordinary, as it relates to you, and show up on your date or at his door with nothing beneath your jacket except fine silk stocking, platform heels and of course a sexy hip hugging colorful garter with bra to match.
3. Be the Author Of Change Be a chameleon and keep him entranced while deepening his interest. For example don't assume he doesn't notice little changes you make such as your hair color, or French tip nails versus red painted nails, believe me, men notice. They're just not good at mentioning it. Don't make the mistake of telling him about your changes before their done. Just do it! Your change will prick his curiosity while making suggestions to his subconscious, which by the way will convey that you're an interesting multi-changing woman of whom he'd like to keep hopefully keep close to.
4. Create Distance If you're in love that's great. But please remember no matter how much you love him, no man wants a leech. If you become a leech you'll suck the life right out of your relationship. Remember there's a difference between being alone and being lonely. It's wonderful to be a cozy loving couple, but too much of anything becomes overbearing. Allow some space, and time to miss each other. Do other things with your friends and allow him to do the same. Absence does make the heart grow fonder, and it sets the stage for new intimacy.
5. Diminish His Stress and Communicate More Lovingly We all fail at good communications when under stress. But men are notoriously bad at expressing their feelings (sorry fellas) when stressed from the job and or when faced with other problems, beyond their control. You can be an exceptional woman; by showing him he can feel good during that moment around you. The secret lies in your response or your reactions and no one knows your man better than you. That being said you know well when he's angry or stressed and clearly that wouldn't be the time to start in on him with 100 questions about some of his promises which are yet to be fulfilled, or worst gabble and complain about your stressful day. Remember neither of your ways are better than the other so create a eel-good environment for him and yourself and you'll lend greater strength to your bond and union as a couple.
6. Be Sexy, Sensual and Sentilating On my television show " Swing In the Kitchen" and in all my books, articles, newsletter, radio and television interviews I'm constantly talking about my theory on how food and cooking is definitely a way to build relationships, as well as to a man's heart - and sensuality is at the heart of it. Why don't you brand a sensual signature, and create an evening that is unique to you only. It can be that certain way you laugh, at his jokes, or that sexy thing you do after making love. With this idea you can actually create your own sound when he touches you in all the right places, believe me once he gets wise to that sensual then you do, it will drive him mad and he'll take pleasure in everything you both do together for each other. To seal the deal, create a meal that will put flames to your evening of passion, and let it be known that your meal is all about sex appeal.
7. Find a Special Place to Tune In Poetry and music have the power to move our hearts into heaven, or repel us to no end. Both can calm or excite us at any given moment. Of course we all have different taste in both music and poetry. But the secret is knowing how not to rub his face in your style of music if its different from yours. A good example would be if he enjoys listening to a certain song while he's in the shower, as it makes him feel good and energetic then play that when you desire a heart felt evening with him. In other words use the music he loves to help relive his day of stress and or when you're ready to make mad passionate love to him, just to show him how much he means to you. He may or may not be able to swiftly put his finger on it but believe me he will feel emotionally connected to you, and that girlfriend, is the goal of every woman alive. Be inspired and touch his heart.
Rone de Beauvoir is the author of It's Only Dinner: Dining for Love Romance & Relationships; Decadent Meals and Desserts: How to Conjure Up Love with Aphrodisiacs and several other books. She is a celebrity chef, television personality, professional speaker, international traveler, recording artist, filmmaker, caterer and philanthropist. Her diverse background has helped her to develop a passion for food and relationship building techniques, for which she provides as a consultant and coach to corporations, and individuals, and in seminars. Her experience living in 22 countries gives her a unique insight into the food traditions of exotic places and people.