Does religious guilt suppress women's sexuality? In the words of political analyst Debbie Taylor, "religious beliefs had little or no effect on a man's sexual pleasure, but could slice as powerfully as a circumcision knife into a woman's enjoyment, not to mention undermining with guilt and shame any pleasure she might otherwise experience."
Forgive me when I say it - because I really don't want you to know it, but I remember when the era of Flower Power was popular culture, and love was the catchword of the hour, and sex, the expression of sex, sensuality, frivolity, and playfulness were in vogue.
Men grew their hair long and adorned their bodies, highlighting a feminine side that they could explore because women were not yet thinking about their own freedom. Though they appropriated girl's pleasures, it was still a boy's party.
Today it's very different. Women are driven to desire, and are desired. They're open and ready to rekindle romance by taking their man on a magical mystery tour of the mind and body, having utilized every sense of her imagination.
Admittedly, there are some who say putting forth such energy to please a man isn't anything nearly so serious or important, and it should be appalling to those of us whom find that a healthy, sexy, romantic relationship is the source of life and the wings of romance, and of love.
There are several wonderful books out there, which can guide you down the right path to an active imagination for romance, but for now allow me to plague your thoughts with a few quick sexy sensual tips to use now.
1. Bring Out Your Inner Tomboy Perhaps you're like me - extremely feminine - wearing stockings and garters with stiletto high hill shoes, and your best dress when you go on a date, while making certain the make-up is flawlessly executed. Whether they admit it or not, men love this about women - being with an attractive woman is not only appealing to him but it reflects well on him. If you really want to keep him close, reveal your inner tomboy and muck in and out of the dirt while planting flowers, or get your hands dirty while helping him to change the oil in the car. He's sure to love it.
2. Seduce Him With a Surprise We all need some routine in our lives, as it helps us to meet all our responsibilities, but it's also important to show the man in your life, that being with you isn't dull and boring. Often time's women assume that the man has to provide the romantic surprises in the relationship. Turn the table and do something completely out of the ordinary, as it relates to you, and show up on your date or at his door with nothing beneath your jacket except fine silk stocking, platform heels and of course a sexy hip hugging colorful garter with bra to match.
3. Be the Author Of Change Be a chameleon and keep him entranced while deepening his interest. For example don't assume he doesn't notice little changes you make such as your hair color, or French tip nails versus red painted nails, believe me, men notice. They're just not good at mentioning it. Don't make the mistake of telling him about your changes before their done. Just do it! Your change will prick his curiosity while making suggestions to his subconscious, which by the way will convey that you're an interesting multi-changing woman of whom he'd like to keep hopefully keep close to.
4. Create Distance If you're in love that's great. But please remember no matter how much you love him, no man wants a leech. If you become a leech you'll suck the life right out of your relationship. Remember there's a difference between being alone and being lonely. It's wonderful to be a cozy loving couple, but too much of anything becomes overbearing. Allow some space, and time to miss each other. Do other things with your friends and allow him to do the same. Absence does make the heart grow fonder, and it sets the stage for new intimacy.
5. Diminish His Stress and Communicate More Lovingly We all fail at good communications when under stress. But men are notoriously bad at expressing their feelings (sorry fellas) when stressed from the job and or when faced with other problems, beyond their control. You can be an exceptional woman; by showing him he can feel good during that moment around you. The secret lies in your response or your reactions and no one knows your man better than you. That being said you know well when he's angry or stressed and clearly that wouldn't be the time to start in on him with 100 questions about some of his promises which are yet to be fulfilled, or worst gabble and complain about your stressful day. Remember neither of your ways are better than the other so create a eel-good environment for him and yourself and you'll lend greater strength to your bond and union as a couple.
6. Be Sexy, Sensual and Sentilating On my television show " Swing In the Kitchen" and in all my books, articles, newsletter, radio and television interviews I'm constantly talking about my theory on how food and cooking is definitely a way to build relationships, as well as to a man's heart - and sensuality is at the heart of it. Why don't you brand a sensual signature, and create an evening that is unique to you only. It can be that certain way you laugh, at his jokes, or that sexy thing you do after making love. With this idea you can actually create your own sound when he touches you in all the right places, believe me once he gets wise to that sensual then you do, it will drive him mad and he'll take pleasure in everything you both do together for each other. To seal the deal, create a meal that will put flames to your evening of passion, and let it be known that your meal is all about sex appeal.
7. Find a Special Place to Tune In Poetry and music have the power to move our hearts into heaven, or repel us to no end. Both can calm or excite us at any given moment. Of course we all have different taste in both music and poetry. But the secret is knowing how not to rub his face in your style of music if its different from yours. A good example would be if he enjoys listening to a certain song while he's in the shower, as it makes him feel good and energetic then play that when you desire a heart felt evening with him. In other words use the music he loves to help relive his day of stress and or when you're ready to make mad passionate love to him, just to show him how much he means to you. He may or may not be able to swiftly put his finger on it but believe me he will feel emotionally connected to you, and that girlfriend, is the goal of every woman alive. Be inspired and touch his heart.
Rone de Beauvoir is the author of It's Only Dinner: Dining for Love Romance & Relationships; Decadent Meals and Desserts: How to Conjure Up Love with Aphrodisiacs and several other books. She is a celebrity chef, television personality, professional speaker, international traveler, recording artist, filmmaker, caterer and philanthropist. Her diverse background has helped her to develop a passion for food and relationship building techniques, for which she provides as a consultant and coach to corporations, and individuals, and in seminars. Her experience living in 22 countries gives her a unique insight into the food traditions of exotic places and people.
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