The Elements of Compatibility

When relationships between two nice people don't end up the way everyone had hoped, the blame is often directed at incompatibility. After all, the relationship didn't end all that badly, so it doesn't mean either of them was a jerk. They were simply incompatible – they don't dance to the same tune.
But when you think about it, does “compatibility” really have a fixed definition? Is it judged by how well they spend time together? Perhaps it's how cute they look together? Whatever it is, since so many breakups happening because of “incompatibility,” it might be a good idea to explore what compatibility really is, instead of just dismissing it as a salad of traits that a man and a woman have in common.
In reality, compatibility is much more complicated than you might think. Some elements of compatibility exist at an unconscious level and you might not even know about them. For example, have you ever heard of the saying that most individuals are more attracted to mates who display the qualities of their parent of the opposite sex? You may have noticed that you're more attracted to guys who look, sound, or act like your dad. It may sound funny, but it's actually been proven that people prefer mates that make them feel perfectly safe and at ease – something they used to feel with their parents! This fact, among many others, proves that there's much more to compatibility than what meets the eye, so to speak.
So, is it possible to use compatibility to your advantage in the dating game?
To keep it short, compatibility is composed of four essential aspects that, when used completely and harmoniously with each other, can increase your chances of getting into a healthy, long-lasting relationship with someone you're perfectly comfortable with – and vice versa. These traits are the following:
The Way You Talk
Conversation has a very powerful attracting mechanism, but remember that not all people in the dating game mean what they say. I'm sure you've experienced having to tell a white lie to your date one time or the other. Well, that's something you should avoid. A great talking style is marked by having totally nothing to hide from each other. Read: Brutal honesty.
Your Activity Levels
Whenever you feel bored, tired, or otherwise uneasy when you and your boyfriend do something together, it's a sign that your activity levels aren't on the same page. In other words, you're incompatible on an activity level. A good relationship should thrive on the time you spend together. Try to be more open to each other's reality, but make sure no one tries to impose their “reality” on the other, either.
Financial Smarts
There's a reason why so many couples break up over money matters. Your financial intellect (or lack of it) is a very powerful dictating factor on how far a relationship can go, so do yourselves a favor and start reading up about financial security, debt management, and other ways to always have something for a rainy day.
Sensual Response
This draws the line between being friends and lovers. The first three traits can improve any relationship, even if it's not romantic. But the way you respond to each other at a sensual and sexual level is a defining factor in your relationship's health and longevity.
About the Author
Aaron Adams specialises in relationship matters for women.