Monday, July 7, 2008

Five Tips For Successful Online Dating

In today's world, you can find everything online: you can order your groceries, a pair of shoes and a job all from the World Wide Web. So it would make perfect sense that you can also find a mate in the very same fashion!
Some are a little skittish about online dating though it has become so popular that people of all ages and walks of life are now doing online dating. It is not "just" for the young or for people who love computers. Often as we get older, our social circles close in on us: online dating is an excellent way to widen it out a bit and meet some people with similar interests and preferences.
Just be yourself. Mom was totally right when she said this and we'll tell you why: when you put on an act to be someone else the person you are with forms an entirely different picture about who you are. This means that if they are attracted to you, then they are actually attracted to someone else. You want them to like you for you! So show your date exactly who you are: chances are they'll like what they see.
Put your best foot forward. There is a difference between showing someone who you are and scratching where it itches in public! Take this opportunity to show your date your sunny side and your best features. If you have a great sense of humor have a couple of jokes planned. If you are known for something else your strong listening skills or charm: then share this with your date.
They have sweaty palms too! We'll let you in on a little secret: everyone is nervous on a date. This is true whether or not you see them acting nervous or not. Some people just hide this better. So have some compassion if your date is laughing a little too hard or fidgeting in their seat. They're just having a case of first date jitters like you are too. There is a benefit to remembering this tip you tend to calm down a bit yourself.
Everyone has baggage: leave yours outside for now. We all have something that we pull around with us. It may be a divorce, credit card debt or a college degree we are still completing. Everyone has something they consider their "baggage." Sometimes it is a big deal and other times it really isn't. Most of the time what matters is how much of a positive attitude you have about the situation and how much effort you are using to change or act in the circumstance.
You usually can't change the fact that you have been divorced (unless you re-marry the person) though you can refrain from making negative comments about them or telling endless stories about why your marriage was a failure.
Be clear about what you are looking for. The "dating game" can be a real challenge. Part of this is because it truly isn't an even playing field. You may be looking for a serious relationship and others are just looking for companionship or a little fun. Be clear and upfront about what you want from the start without getting into what hair color you hope your kids are going to have.
Use a light touch when telling someone what you are looking for and put yourself in their shoes. If you are not looking for a serious relationship, then you'd probably want to know this ahead of time also. Remember that although someone may say one thing they also can change their mind as a relationship progresses.

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